I’ve always found it fascinating how someone can appear calm and collected on the surface—smiling at social events, acing work presentations, and calmly handling family dramas—yet feel a constant hum of anxiety underneath.
That was me for a long time, though most people never noticed. I only started recognizing the hidden signs within myself after I dived deeper into psychology and mindfulness techniques.
Here at DM News, we often talk about mental well-being in a way that feels approachable, so let’s explore a topic I believe is incredibly important: subtle behaviors that quietly indicate someone is battling high-functioning anxiety.
Below, I’ll share seven telltale signs.
If you recognize these behaviors in yourself or someone you care about, remember you’re not alone, and there are practical ways to work through the anxiety.
1. They overthink the smallest details
On the outside, a person might seem meticulous, always double-checking everything from their daily schedule to the wording in a text message.
It looks like they’re just being careful and conscientious, right?
The truth is, their mind could be racing with a hundred “what ifs.” They replay conversations in their head, wondering if they sounded foolish or insensitive. They might even lose sleep over small details most people wouldn’t even dwell on.
Sometimes, I catch myself sifting through old emails, analyzing whether I used the right tone or inadvertently upset someone.
If you spot a friend who constantly seeks reassurance—“Do you think this email sounds okay?”—they might be dealing with this type of anxiety.
It’s a survival tactic: If they can control the tiny details, maybe the bigger worries won’t spiral out of control.
2. They appear calm while their mind is spinning
It sounds contradictory, but people with high-functioning anxiety often learn to present a calm front. They want to be seen as dependable, stable, even stoic.
Yet beneath this composed exterior lies a whirlwind of thoughts and worries. It’s like having a soundtrack on loop, but still going about the day “as normal.”
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been praised for “staying cool under pressure,” while my heart was doing somersaults inside my chest.
When you’re in this mode, you might speak calmly in meetings or with friends, but your mind is rehearsing every worst-case scenario. It’s almost an art form—staying poised on the outside when inside you’re battling doubt or fear.
Sometimes, that mask becomes so familiar that people can’t see behind it. They assume you’re stress-free. You might even give pep talks to others, all while you’re silently screaming for one of your own.
3. They struggle to say “no” and take on too much
I’ve been guilty of this more times than I’d like to admit.
When you have high-functioning anxiety, you often feel the urge to stay busy or prove your worth by being helpful. Saying “no” can trigger guilt or fear of disappointing others, so you keep piling on tasks, responsibilities, and favors.
This is where I want to share a personal insight I gained from taking Rudá Iandê’s Free Your Mind masterclass. I know I’ve mentioned it before, but it genuinely helped me see how deeply my worry about letting people down was rooted in my own limiting beliefs.
Through his lessons (and the exercises he recommends), I realized I was burying my true feelings under a mountain of obligations.
While I don’t want to spoil the exact activities, I can say they showed me that setting boundaries doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you emotionally healthier.
4. They need constant validation but hide it well
Another behavior I’ve noticed is craving external validation. We all enjoy positive feedback, but for someone grappling with high-functioning anxiety, praise can momentarily soothe an inner restlessness.
If you watch closely, you’ll notice they might fish for compliments or ask for feedback more often than others. Sometimes, it’s subtle, like a text seeking reassurance or a quick check-in: “Did I do that right?”
The twist is they’re also great at hiding this need.
They don’t want to look needy or insecure. So, they might phrase their questions casually or ask in a roundabout way. It becomes a daily quest for reassurance that everything is okay—at work, in friendships, even in family dynamics.
The validation acts like a temporary bandage on a deeper wound. It offers quick relief, but unless they tackle the underlying anxiety, the doubts keep creeping back.
5. They can’t relax, even when they should
Vacations, weekends, or even just a lazy evening on the couch can be tricky for someone who’s always in “go” mode.
They might physically remove themselves from work, but their brain is still whirring—thinking of the next goal, the next step, or replaying the day’s stressors.
For the longest time, I struggled with this.
People would invite me on a getaway to “unplug,” and I’d be the one sneaking a look at my phone or mentally reviewing my task list. Even simple downtime can feel unproductive, which only feeds the cycle of anxiety.
If you notice someone pacing or scrolling through emails during a supposed day off, it might not just be a Type A personality at work. They could be fighting that uneasy feeling that arises when their mind has the space to wander.
Truly resting can feel alien if you’ve spent years thriving off stress and external validation.
6. They dismiss their achievements quickly
One subtle indicator of high-functioning anxiety is the tendency to brush off personal achievements. They’ll downplay successes: “It was no big deal,” “I got lucky,” or “Anyone could have done it.”
They do this because accepting praise can be uncomfortable when your inner narrative is dominated by self-doubt.
I recall finishing a major project under a tight deadline and receiving positive feedback. Instead of celebrating, I immediately picked out the minor flaws.
A supportive friend asked me why I couldn’t just enjoy the win, and I didn’t have an answer at the time. Looking back, I realize I was used to telling myself I never did “enough,” so it felt unnatural to embrace compliments.
Others may see this as modesty, but it can mask a deeper anxiety that whispers, “You’re not as good as they think you are.” Pay attention to whether someone consistently shrugs off praise or changes the subject when the talk shifts to their achievements.
7. They plan for the worst but rarely share their fears
Being prepared is great—until it crosses into worst-case-scenario territory. People with high-functioning anxiety often think about what could go wrong.
They have backup plans, and backup plans for their backup plans. It’s a form of control: if I’m ready for the worst, it won’t blindside me.
However, they typically keep this habit quiet. Sharing those “what ifs” would reveal the depth of their anxiety, and that can feel too vulnerable.
So, while they’ll meticulously store emergency contacts, pack extra items for every situation, and mentally rehearse tough conversations, they often hide how much of that planning is anxiety-driven.
Over the years, I’ve learned that caution is helpful, but living in a constant “prepare for disaster” mindset can rob you of enjoying the present.
It can also strain relationships if loved ones sense you’re always bracing for impact instead of trusting that things might actually go right.
Conclusion
The signs of high-functioning anxiety are often so well concealed that someone can appear perfectly fine.
They might even believe the stress and worry are just part of who they are, never questioning if there’s another way to live. I hope these insights help you recognize when you or someone you care about could use extra kindness, empathy, and maybe professional support.
It’s amazing how much a shift in awareness can change our perspective. Once I started being honest about my own anxiety, I found healthier ways to navigate stress and allowed myself more peace of mind.
Here at DM News, we believe in simple, actionable steps to improve well-being. If these behaviors sound familiar, consider exploring helpful resources—be it therapy, mindfulness practices, or a supportive masterclass.
You don’t have to live in a constant state of “barely holding it together.” Recognizing these hidden signals is the first step toward a more balanced life.
Remember, you deserve to feel at ease, both inside and out.
