Let’s start with a little honesty: many of us baby boomers grew up believing hard work and selflessness were simply part of the job description of being a parent.
You showed up, you worked long hours, you supported your family, and you didn’t ask for applause.
But looking back, I realize there were countless sacrifices my peers and I made that often flew under the radar. We didn’t spend much time talking about them—certainly not in front of our kids. After all, it was just what we did.
As a recently retired educator who’s spent decades around young people and their families, I’ve seen firsthand how much parents give up for their children. And if you’re a fellow boomer, I suspect you can relate.
Today, I want to shine a light on seven sacrifices that rarely get acknowledged and talk about how they’ve shaped the way we view “success” later in life.
I touched on this once before in a previous post on DMNews, but it’s worth emphasizing again: our generation is discovering a new dimension of success, one that’s not just measured in dollars or job titles.
Let’s explore how these often-unnoticed sacrifices paved the way for a different outlook on what truly matters.
1. Putting personal aspirations on hold
Back in my late 20s, I dreamed of writing a novel or traveling across Europe during the summer.
A part of me yearned to take time off and chase those aspirations.
But once I started a family, those passions took a back seat. Like many of my friends, I felt it was more important to have a steady career and provide a stable environment for my kids.
That decision—postponing my dreams—wasn’t always easy, and it’s a sacrifice many boomers share. We told ourselves, “There’s time later.” But it took until retirement for me to finally dust off those old writing projects.
It’s amazing how many of us are now rekindling abandoned passions in our 60s and beyond.
In a way, that willingness to delay personal goals for the sake of our families was a precursor to the broader shift we’re seeing: success isn’t just about personal ambition anymore; it’s about balance and family well-being.
2. Working multiple jobs or overtime
A lot of boomers I knew juggled two or more jobs in the 1970s and ’80s.
Some did it to pay for their children’s sports gear or extracurriculars, while others wanted to save for family vacations or future college funds.
I remember one colleague who worked as a teacher by day and a grocery store clerk by night, all to make sure her kids never felt like they lacked opportunities.
This dedication to working extra hours often went unnoticed because we boomers just saw it as part of our responsibility. We were determined to keep things afloat—no matter what.
And although it might have come at the expense of our own leisure time, that sheer work ethic left a significant impression on our children.
Many of them grew up with a respect for hustle and commitment, even if they didn’t always recognize the toll it took on our health or emotional well-being.
Looking back, it’s clear that our willingness to give (even if it meant sacrificing sleep or free time) shaped our families’ futures and redefined success to include the act of giving.
3. Sacrificing personal wellness and mental health
I’ve lost count of how many times I met parents in the school counseling office who looked utterly exhausted.
They were juggling their children’s schedules, their own demanding jobs, and the occasional household emergency.
Often, they’d ignore warning signs of burnout. In my own life, I recall powering through migraines and periods of stress because I told myself, “My kids need me. There’s no time for self-pity.”
For a large chunk of boomer parents, prioritizing self-care was virtually nonexistent. We didn’t call it “mental health” back then; we called it “handling your responsibilities.”
But that doesn’t mean the struggle wasn’t real. The sad truth is that many of us endured high levels of stress without seeking help or even acknowledging it might be necessary.
Now, in retirement, I see a growing awareness among older adults. We’re learning the importance of mental health and emotional well-being—things we once pushed aside.
We attend support groups, practice mindfulness, or simply say “no” when we can’t take on another burden. This shift highlights a new perspective on success that includes caring for ourselves, not just our families.
4. Prioritizing children’s education above all else
Boomers, as a whole, came of age when higher education was touted as the ultimate gateway to a good life.
Many of us believed so strongly in the power of a college degree that we poured savings, second mortgages, and even our retirement funds into helping our children earn that diploma.
I vividly remember the lengths some parents went to: driving hundreds of miles to tour potential universities, taking out parent loans at steep interest rates, and working weekend shifts to fund textbooks.
Meanwhile, dreams of a new car or a home renovation got shelved. “We can’t afford it this year,” became a common refrain.
Looking back, it’s humbling to think about how much we invested in our kids’ futures—often at our own financial peril.
The upside, of course, is that our children reaped the benefits of those sacrifices, and many went on to succeed in fields we could only dream of. But let’s not forget the toll on the parents themselves.
Success, we learned, is sometimes defined by enabling our children to have more opportunities than we did.
5. Being the ‘sandwich generation’
Many boomers found themselves in a tricky spot: raising young kids while simultaneously caring for aging parents.
I saw this happen with close friends who’d rush from work to pick up their children from soccer practice, then race to a care facility to tend to ailing parents. It was—and continues to be—an exhausting balancing act.
In my own life, the “sandwich generation” experience came into play when my mother-in-law fell ill.
We had a teenager at home who needed homework help and rides to after-school events, yet we also had to manage frequent hospital visits and medical decisions. It didn’t leave much time for anything else, including personal relaxation.
The sacrifice here is twofold: you’re not only giving up your personal time and resources but also postponing the quiet moments you need to recharge.
If you’ve been there, you know how draining it can be. Yet, in these experiences, I discovered a new sense of resilience.
We realized success could also mean pulling together as a family, bridging generations, and ensuring everyone gets the care they deserve—even if it demands a lot from us.
6. Compromising on personal relationships and hobbies
It’s easy to let date nights, friendships, and hobbies slip when you’re focused on providing for your family.
I recall weekends that blurred into chore marathons: mowing the lawn, grocery shopping, and tackling an endless list of repairs. Social gatherings or personal interests felt like luxuries.
Although our generation wasn’t the first to put family before fun, there was an unspoken cultural norm that parents—especially mothers—should be on standby at all times.
Hobbies? Maybe after the kids are grown. Friendships? We’d keep in touch via the occasional phone call, if at all. And romance with a spouse? That often got buried under daily responsibilities.
As we explore life in our 60s and beyond, many of us are rediscovering the joy of nurturing ourselves and our relationships.
We join book clubs, volunteer in community literacy programs (one of my personal favorites), or simply take leisurely walks with our dogs.
And in doing so, we’re seeing that success is more than a job well done; it’s also having the freedom and time to enjoy the moments and people we love.
7. Accepting financial uncertainty to prioritize stability
Finally but perhaps most importantly, there’s the reality of financial uncertainty.
Despite our best efforts, many of us didn’t achieve the kind of nest egg we once assumed we’d have by the time retirement rolled around.
Why? Because we were busy investing in our kids, our aging parents, or just trying to keep the household afloat during tough economic periods.
I’ve spoken to friends who postponed their retirement dates, not out of lack of planning, but because unexpected events—like a market crash or a medical emergency—wiped out savings.
Others chose to downsize their homes or relocate entirely for a more affordable lifestyle. Bill Gates once remarked, “It’s fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.”
For a lot of boomers, those financial hardships taught us valuable lessons about flexibility and resilience. We may have taken a hit in the short term, but we found ways to adapt.
The silver lining is that many of us are discovering new paths in retirement—part-time work or passion projects—that bring us both purpose and an extra financial cushion.
In doing so, we’re redefining what it means to be “successful” at this stage in life. Yes, having a stable income is still important, but so is having the freedom to do something that feels meaningful.
Wrapping up
Those are just seven ways we boomers quietly gave up parts of ourselves for the sake of our families.
And while we might not have expected accolades for any of it, I do think it’s important to acknowledge the depth of our contributions—if only to remind ourselves that all those long nights, early mornings, and financial contortions counted for something.
So, how do you see success evolving in your own life journey? Are you shifting your priorities in ways you never thought possible?
Let me know what you think and remember: it’s never too late to define success on your own terms. The sacrifices we’ve made have shaped who we are, but they don’t have to limit who we can become.
