I remember a conversation I once had with a close friend, where we joked about phrases we’d both uttered in past relationships.
We laughed, but deep down, we knew those throwaway lines reflected deeper issues about how we saw ourselves and our worth.
Strong women—and by that, I mean women who recognize their own value and actively work on personal growth—often avoid certain words that sabotage their confidence or invite disrespect.
Through my own experiences (and quite a bit of introspection), I’ve noticed that language is more powerful than we might realize. The phrases we use can shape how others see us and how we see ourselves.
Below, I’ll walk you through eight things I believe strong women rarely, if ever, say in romantic partnerships.
I hope my insights help you become more mindful of your own words and inspire a healthier, happier connection.
1. “I can’t do anything right”
This phrase used to slip out of my mouth whenever I felt insecure—like I was messing up small tasks or misreading my partner’s expectations.
In those moments, I genuinely felt worthless and incapable.
However, telling someone else “I can’t do anything right” essentially declares our own defeat. We frame ourselves as incompetent, which can lead our partner to assume we can’t handle challenges on our own.
From a psychological perspective, when you repeatedly say this, it reinforces a negative self-belief.
Your brain starts believing you really are incapable, creating a vicious cycle where your confidence plummets. Strong women recognize that everyone slips up sometimes, but mistakes are part of growth, not an indicator of overall worth.
If you ever catch yourself about to say these words, try pausing and reframing your mindset. A single misunderstanding or a minor slip doesn’t define who you are.
2. “I’ll just go along with whatever you say”
Years ago, I thought that agreeing with my partner on everything was the easiest way to keep harmony. If he wanted to stay in, I’d stay in. If he chose the movie, I’d feign interest, even when I secretly hated it.
But consistently shrugging off your own desires sends the message that your needs don’t matter. In relationships, two people come together to share unique perspectives, interests, and tastes.
If one partner is always dismissing their own wishes, it creates an imbalance. That can lead to resentment down the road or cause you to lose sight of your personal identity.
I’ve found that strong women aren’t afraid to voice an opinion, whether it’s about what to eat for dinner or how to handle finances. They understand compromise is valuable, but self-sacrifice to the point of invisibility is not.
3. “I’m sorry for bothering you with my feelings”
Whenever I used to feel upset or hurt, I’d preface any serious conversation with an apology—like I was being a burden by simply having emotions.
Little did I know, this habit taught people (including myself) that my feelings weren’t as valid or important.
In healthy relationships, strong women know they don’t have to be sorry for expressing genuine concerns or vulnerabilities.
They might phrase it gently, but they’ll still communicate openly because they understand that emotional honesty fosters deeper intimacy.
That said, if you’ve grown up in an environment where conflict or strong emotions were brushed aside, it’s natural to worry about rocking the boat.
Still, your emotional life matters, and sharing it can enrich a partnership rather than “bother” someone.
4. “If You Leave, I Won’t Survive”
I once tried to hold onto a partner by dramatic proclamations—essentially pleading that I needed them more than air. But looking back, it’s clear that line was rooted in fear of abandonment, not genuine love.
Strong women realize that while breakups hurt and losing someone you care for is painful, you are still whole and capable on your own.
When you base your entire happiness on someone else, you deny yourself the chance to cultivate self-reliance and emotional stability.
During a particularly challenging time in my dating life, I decided to enroll in Rudá Iandê’s Love and Intimacy masterclass.
I was tired of feeling like my sense of worth hinged on someone else’s presence. Rudá’s teachings opened my eyes to how patterns of neediness can sabotage the love we crave.
The exercises in the course inspired me to realize I have the power to define my happiness, with or without a partner’s constant reassurance.
5. “I don’t deserve better”
I used to compare myself to others and think, “My relationship issues aren’t that bad, so maybe this is the best I can hope for.” But staying stuck in a situation that makes you unhappy isn’t a sign of strength or loyalty; it’s a sign of internalized doubt.
When you say “I don’t deserve better,” you’re giving yourself permission to remain in a harmful cycle—whether it’s disrespect, emotional unavailability, or plain indifference.
Strong women set boundaries because they know their self-worth. They don’t settle for the bare minimum or accept being taken for granted.
If this phrase ever finds its way into your head, pause and question where that thought came from. Is it truly your belief, or is it shaped by the fear that you won’t find anything else?
A healthy partnership is built on mutual respect and the certainty that you’re worthy of good, fulfilling love.
6. “I’m fine” (when it’s clearly not true)
This one used to be my go-to whenever I wanted to avoid confrontation or keep the peace. I’d fold my arms, offer a tight-lipped smile, and insist I was perfectly okay, even if something had me feeling hurt, uneasy, or outright furious.
The danger in saying “I’m fine” when it’s a lie is that it teaches the other person to ignore the subtle signs that you’re upset. It also denies them the chance to address the issue and grow alongside you.
Over time, a partner can begin to think you truly don’t have any concerns, which means your real feelings remain hidden and unresolved.
Strong women know that relationships flourish with honesty. If you don’t express how you’re feeling, how can your partner truly understand and support you?
Being authentic might involve a tough conversation or two, but it lays the groundwork for lasting emotional closeness.
7. “You’re the only reason I’m happy”
I’ve always believed that joy is best when shared, but relying on one person to be your sole source of happiness can lead to an unhealthy dynamic.
After all, what happens on days when that person is going through their own struggles and can’t provide the reassurance you crave?
Strong women recognize that while a partner can enrich life, genuine fulfillment comes from a balanced mix of self-love, personal interests, and supportive relationships (including friends and family).
Pinning all your hope and happiness on a single person can create dependency, which might feel romantic at first but can devolve into pressure and imbalance.
Try reminding yourself that you’re a multi-faceted individual with passions and talents that extend beyond a partnership. A healthy relationship is the icing on the cake, not the entire cake.
8. “This is all my fault”
When conflict arises, some of us jump straight to self-blame. It feels simpler to say, “It’s all my fault,” rather than dissect the real issue or admit that both sides might need to take responsibility.
I was guilty of this in a past relationship, always waving the white flag just to keep the peace.
Over time, I realized I was doing neither myself nor my partner any favors by assuming all the blame. It prevented genuine problem-solving and reinforced an unbalanced power dynamic where I became the “perpetual wrongdoer” and my partner the “aggrieved party.”
Strong women avoid this phrase, not because they deny accountability, but because they recognize that disagreements are rarely one-sided.
Healthy communication involves expressing your perspective and also hearing your partner’s point of view. It’s much more productive to say, “I own my part in this. Let’s find a solution together,” rather than lump everything on yourself.
Conclusion
By becoming aware of these phrases, we can shift our approach to love and connection. Recognizing that our words have impact is one of the first steps toward building healthier relationships.
Strong women know that how we speak to our partners—and ourselves—creates the foundation for mutual respect and trust.
If you’ve caught yourself repeating any of these lines, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, consider it a sign that there’s room for growth and healthier self-expression.
Remember, your voice matters. At DM News, we believe in the power of self-awareness, and we hope these insights encourage you to choose words that uplift rather than undermine your own worth.
After all, real strength in a relationship comes from valuing yourself as much as you value the person you love.
