I’ve always been captivated by weddings—maybe it’s the promise of forever, or the chance to see two people celebrate their unique bond.
But behind the dress fittings and cake tastings, there can be subtle red flags that point to future marital problems. So, I recently sat down with Grace, a seasoned wedding planner with years of experience.
She had some unforgettable stories to share—and some of them, frankly, made my jaw drop.
If you’re curious about what really goes on behind the scenes (and what it says about a couple’s long-term chances), here are six wedding behaviors Grace says often predict a marriage that might not stand the test of time.
1. Smashing cake in your partner’s face after agreeing not to
We’ve all seen those viral videos: one partner shoves cake into the other’s face, everyone laughs, and the moment lives forever in wedding photo reels.
But what if that “cutesy” gesture is actually breaking a promise?
Grace told me about a couple who had a serious talk before the wedding: the bride was adamant she didn’t want cake smashed in her face.
She’d seen it happen at a friend’s wedding and hated the idea of makeup-ruining, frosting-filled embarrassment. Her groom promised he’d respect her wishes.
Then, on the day itself, he grinned mischievously at the camera and shoved a giant piece of cake into her face anyway.
That might sound harmless, but Grace noticed how hurt the bride was. Her trust was broken in front of hundreds of guests.
According to Grace, when a person deliberately violates a boundary (especially one that was clearly discussed), it’s rarely just about cake. It’s about respecting each other’s wishes.
If someone can’t honor a partner’s simple request on their wedding day, there’s a risk they’ll disregard even bigger boundaries once the honeymoon phase fades.
2. Leaving all the planning to one partner
Weddings are elaborate, with tasks ranging from picking invitations to finalizing the seating chart.
But Grace says she can spot trouble when one partner checks out entirely. Yes, some people hate color palettes and floral arrangements—but there’s a difference between disliking the process and ignoring it completely.
She recounted a story of a bride who took on everything: she researched venues, met with vendors, managed the budget, and organized every last detail while the groom stayed home playing video games.
His go-to response was, “Whatever you want,” which might sound like laid-back support. But as Grace pointed out, the bride felt abandoned and resentful.
She was drowning in responsibilities and needed emotional (and practical) help.
Grace believes this pattern can set the tone for the marriage. If one person always shoulders the major tasks—while the other shrugs and says, “Do what you want”—it can build a wall of frustration that grows with each new obligation.
Marriage is about partnership. When that willingness to share the load is missing from the start, it’s a red flag that can echo long after the wedding day.
3. Asking the planner to hide details from their partner
At first glance, a little white lie about wedding costs might seem harmless. You convince the planner to tweak the receipt so your partner won’t freak out about spending.
Or you fudge the guest count because you’d rather not argue about who’s invited. In Grace’s experience, this behavior is more telling than it appears.
She recalled one bride who routinely asked her to “not mention” certain expenses—like an upgraded open bar or a pricey gift for the bridal party.
Whenever Grace brought up the budget, the bride would say, “Just send that bill directly to me and label it something else. He doesn’t need to know.” Rather than hashing out money disagreements honestly, she chose secrecy.
While wedding costs can be a sensitive topic, Grace insists that starting a marriage with hidden bills or half-truths is a big warning sign.
A wedding is already an emotional and financial investment—lying about it plants seeds of distrust that can grow into bigger issues down the road. No relationship thrives on secrets, especially those surrounding finances or important decisions.
I have to admit, this one made me think back to times I’ve seen couples struggle with open communication. Before writing about relationships and personal development here at DM News, I signed up for Rudá Iandê’s “Love and Intimacy” masterclass.
One crucial insight I gained from Rudá was the importance of honesty as a foundation for genuine connection. He highlights how easily small cover-ups—like lying about a price tag—can spiral into bigger trust gaps.
The exercises inspired me to think about how even tiny deceptions can create walls. If that’s happening before you’re officially married, imagine how it might play out when bigger life choices come along.
4. Going through the motions without genuine joy
Weddings can be hectic, but there’s still an undercurrent of excitement for most couples—those shared glances, the joyful tears, the wide smiles as they meet at the altar.
Grace says when she sees a bride or groom who looks like they’d rather be anywhere else, it raises a major red flag.
She mentioned one groom who barely cracked a smile the entire day.
During the photo session, he kept checking his phone. He yawned at the altar, gave one-word answers during toasts, and couldn’t wait to leave right after dinner.
According to Grace, he looked like a guest who’d been dragged to someone else’s wedding, not the groom.
Yes, sometimes people have personal stressors or just aren’t big on public events. But if both partners aren’t genuinely invested in celebrating this new chapter, it can signal deeper ambivalence about the relationship itself.
A wedding is a significant milestone—a chance to stand up, look each other in the eyes, and declare your commitment. If one person can’t muster even a hint of excitement, you have to wonder what’s really going on behind the scenes.
5. Publicly making fun of your partner
We all love a good sense of humor—until it turns mean. Grace recalls couples who, in the middle of the reception, start poking fun at each other in ways that feel more cruel than playful.
Think jokes about someone’s weight, their family, or their habits that embarrass them in front of everyone.
One bride repeatedly mocked her new husband’s job, calling it “low-level” and complaining he’d never be able to afford her lifestyle.
Her friends laughed—some awkwardly, some because they were used to her jokes. But you could see the groom’s face fall with each remark. By the end of the night, he’d retreated to a corner, nursing his drink in silence.
Grace says while weddings can be stressful, truly supportive couples rarely weaponize humor at their partner’s expense—especially in front of a crowd of onlookers.
If one partner seems comfortable humiliating the other, it’s a strong indicator that respect and empathy might be lacking in the relationship.
And let’s face it: no relationship can flourish if one person constantly feels belittled or shamed.
6. Turning the wedding into a show, not a celebration
It’s natural for couples to want a beautiful, memorable wedding. But some brides and grooms become so fixated on the “wow factor” that they lose sight of the love they’re meant to be celebrating.
Grace described one scenario where the couple was more interested in orchestrating an Instagram-perfect entrance—complete with a choreographed dance number, fireworks, and fancy drones—than interacting with each other or their guests.
Throughout the night, they stuck to a script. They’d practice a dramatic hug for the cameras, then separate to coordinate another spectacle.
Meanwhile, they barely spent time together. By midnight, Grace had the eerie sense they were starring in a stage production, not celebrating the start of a marriage.
While there’s nothing wrong with having a show-stopping wedding, it’s worth noting whether the focus is on genuine connection or merely on outward appearances.
If a couple prioritizes surface-level perfection—caring more about viral videos than heartfelt conversations—they may be setting unrealistic expectations for their marriage.
Real life isn’t a polished highlight reel, and if you’re only united when cameras are rolling, it could foreshadow a superficial bond rather than a deep, enduring partnership.
Conclusion
My conversation with Grace was both enlightening and sobering. She’s seen countless joyful unions—but she’s also witnessed the quiet signs that suggest a marriage might hit rocky roads.
From ignoring someone’s boundaries with a seemingly “innocent” cake smash to hiding expenses and making cruel jokes in public, each behavior reveals deeper issues around trust, respect, and genuine commitment.
That’s not to say a single misstep dooms a couple. After all, wedding days are notoriously stressful, and sometimes people act out of character.
But if these behaviors are part of a pattern, they might signal unresolved conflicts that won’t magically disappear after the honeymoon.
Here at DM News, we love celebrating love. But we also know the value of spotting red flags before they morph into long-standing resentments.
If you or someone close to you is heading toward the aisle, take a moment to check in on how both partners are treating each other.
A wedding is just a day; a marriage is meant to be a lifetime. The healthiest unions start with trust, collaboration, and a promise to keep each other’s well-being at heart—even when no one’s watching.
