We all know the feeling: one moment you’re washing dishes, taking a walk, or even playing with your child, and the next you realize your mind’s wandered off to next week’s meeting or last month’s unpleasant conversation.
Suddenly, you’re miles away from what’s happening right in front of you. If that scenario sounds a little too familiar, take heart—you’re not alone.
Research from Harvard psychologists Killingsworth and Gilbert found that people spend nearly 47% of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they’re doing.
That’s almost half our day spent everywhere except the present moment.
In my own life, I’ve had times when I’d be enjoying a rare free afternoon in London, sipping tea while my son happily doodled in his sketchbook, and still find myself obsessing over a work email that didn’t get an immediate response.
It’s amazing how quickly we can drift into overthinking, regrets, or “what ifs,” all of which block us from savoring the here and now.
Over time, I’ve realized that certain habits can stealthily sabotage our ability to fully engage with the present. Some of them might even seem harmless at first.
So, if you struggle to really live in the moment—or suspect you might be sabotaging yourself in ways you haven’t quite identified—here are seven hidden habits that could be pulling you out of the now.
Let’s dive in.
1. Constantly juggling too many tasks
Ever caught yourself trying to reply to an email while also having a conversation and maybe checking the news on your phone all at once?
I used to think multitasking was a badge of honor, especially when I worked in digital communications.
Answering Slack messages, drafting reports, and planning my son’s weekend activities at the same time seemed like the ultimate show of efficiency.
But the truth is, multitasking scatters your attention, making it nearly impossible to savor any one thing. When you’re splitting your focus, you’re not fully engaged in any single task.
As productivity expert Stephen Covey once said, “Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent and not enough time on what is important.”
In other words, we’re so busy responding to the barrage of notifications and requests that we forget to simply be in the moment.
A simple shift can work wonders. Try batching your tasks—focus on one activity for a set amount of time before moving on to the next.
Allow yourself pockets of mindfulness, where you take a beat to notice your surroundings, your breathing, or even the taste of your morning coffee without distractions.
When you stop juggling all at once, you’ll be amazed at how much more present you feel.
2. Mindless scrolling
Here at DM News, we often talk about the role technology plays in shaping our behaviors and mindsets. Phones and social media are incredible tools, but if they’re not kept in check, they can also be major thieves of your attention.
One moment you’re checking a quick notification, and before you know it, you’ve spent 20 minutes scrolling through memes, news updates, or random cat videos.
The problem? When your mind is constantly pulled into a digital feed, you’re not truly engaged with what’s physically around you.
Maybe you’re missing out on a genuine conversation with a friend, skipping over the details of a stunning sunset, or just letting the moment pass without really registering it.
I’ve tried a few tactics to combat this—for instance, setting specific times of the day to go online. After all, digital tools are part of my work, but I don’t need to be “on” all the time.
You might also consider turning off non-essential notifications. That tiny change alone can significantly dial down the compulsion to check your phone.
3. Dwelling on the past
Sometimes, when I’m walking past a favorite bookstore, I’ll be reminded of a difficult time or a mistake I made that I wish I could erase.
In an instant, I’m replaying painful memories instead of admiring the window display or appreciating the gentle drizzle of the London rain.
Ruminating on the past can create a mental loop that’s hard to break free from. You might find yourself analyzing a situation over and over, imagining how it could’ve played out differently.
While reflection is healthy—especially if you’re learning from past mistakes—constant dwelling drags you away from the present and keeps you stuck in regret or self-blame.
One approach that’s helped me is journaling.
I sit down with a cup of tea and jot down what’s occupying my mind. By naming and acknowledging old regrets on paper, it’s easier to let them go.
If you notice yourself stewing over a past scenario, take a breath, remind yourself of where you are right now, and gently redirect your thoughts. The past has lessons, yes, but it’s not meant to hold us hostage.
4. Always looking ahead
On the flip side, maybe you’re not stuck in yesterday but fixated on tomorrow. You could be mapping out your five-year plan, or maybe you’re just thinking about how to juggle all your tasks next week.
Planning can be a great habit—I certainly rely on my calendar apps and to-do lists—but there’s a difference between being prepared and constantly living for what’s next.
When your mind is perpetually in the future, you’re missing the life that’s unfolding now. I learned this the hard way when my son pointed out one evening, “Mom, you’re always thinking about work.”
Kids have an uncanny way of calling you out on your distractions, don’t they? In that moment, I realized I was physically present with him but mentally drafting tomorrow’s emails.
Try building in moments of intentional presence. Maybe that’s a five-minute meditation break or a mindful walk where you actively notice the sights and sounds around you.
It’s not about ditching your future plans entirely; it’s about giving yourself permission to enjoy what’s happening in this moment.
5. Perfectionism
“Done is better than perfect.” Sheryl Sandberg famously said that, and it’s become a motto I revisit often.
There’s nothing wrong with striving for excellence—in fact, it’s probably what led you to do well in your career or personal projects.
But if you’re constantly nitpicking every detail, double-guessing every decision, or feeling like nothing you do is ever good enough, you’ll rarely feel satisfied in the now.
Perfectionism can breed anxiety, robbing you of the simple joys of creation, discovery, or even relaxation.
Instead of celebrating the progress you’ve made, you’re obsessing over minuscule flaws.
Whether you’re writing a report, planning a marketing campaign, or organizing a family get-together, aim to do your best and then let it be. The pursuit of “perfect” often leaves you in a state of perpetual dissatisfaction.
One trick is to set a clear standard at the beginning of any project and decide when “enough” is truly enough. Recognize that sometimes, hitting 80% of your best is better than burning out chasing 100%.
When you let go of the need for perfection, you’ll find it easier to stay grounded in the present, appreciating each step of the journey rather than obsessing over the end product.
6. Comparing yourself to others
It’s so easy to look at someone else’s highlight reel—be it on social media or in real life—and feel as though you’re behind.
Maybe you see a friend who seems to have the perfect job, perfect house, and perfect family vacations. Suddenly, your own life looks dull by comparison. This habit of comparison steals joy faster than just about anything else.
I once caught myself endlessly scrolling through a successful influencer’s profile right after I’d published a short article that, to me, felt mediocre.
My initial sense of accomplishment evaporated, replaced by insecurity. Why wasn’t my life, or my writing, as polished as theirs? And just like that, the delight I’d felt moments earlier vanished.
Remember, everyone’s on a different path, with different challenges, privileges, and timelines. If you catch yourself comparing, pause and ask: “What do I have right now that I’m grateful for?”
This tiny question can shift your focus back to the good in your own life.
It’s not about ignoring what others are doing; it’s about valuing your journey enough that you can celebrate someone else’s success without diminishing your own present moments.
7. Neglecting small self-care practices
Perhaps most crucially, it’s easy to underestimate the power of small self-care habits.
Simple things like staying hydrated, getting enough sleep, or taking a few moments each day to breathe deeply can dramatically affect how present you feel.
If your body is exhausted or your mind is frazzled, you’ll struggle to engage with the now, no matter how hard you try.
For me, mindful tea breaks have become a sacred ritual.
Even if it’s just five minutes, I’ll sit with my cup and focus on the warmth of the mug, the aroma of the tea, and the quiet around me. No phone, no laptop, no half-hearted multi-tasking.
You might prefer a short walk, a quick stretch, or simply a moment to close your eyes and tune in to your breathing.
These small acts reset your mental state and anchor you in the present.
And the best part? They’re easy to weave into a busy schedule. Even if your day is jam-packed, a 60-second pause can work wonders.
Wrapping up
Enjoying the present moment isn’t about ignoring your past or neglecting your future. It’s about giving each moment the full attention it deserves.
Sometimes that means setting stronger boundaries, putting your phone on silent, or even forgiving yourself for a mistake you made years ago.
Other times, it might be as simple as pausing to appreciate the steam rising from your coffee cup.
If you recognize any of these hidden habits creeping into your life—constant multitasking, endless comparison, dwelling on things you can’t change—take it as a gentle nudge to refocus.
None of us are perfect, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t flawless mindfulness 24/7, but a gradual shift toward being more aware of where your mind wanders and why.
As you work on breaking these patterns, remember you’re not alone.
Even here at DM News, where we delve into the psychology of habits and digital behavior, we constantly remind ourselves to step away from endless screens and take stock of the world around us.
Every small step counts. And every time you catch yourself veering off into past regrets, future worries, or mindless distractions, you’re given an opportunity to gently guide yourself back.
After all, the present moment is where real life happens—and it’s ready whenever you are.
