We’ve all been there: that moment when someone asks for our help, or invites us somewhere, or expects us to take on one more project—even though we’re already feeling overwhelmed.
Something inside us screams “No, I can’t!” but somehow “Sure, no problem” slips out instead. Sound familiar?
As a writer and single mom, I’ve definitely experienced this more often than I care to admit. For the longest time, I believed saying “no” meant I was letting people down or missing out on opportunities.
But over the years, I’ve realized that refusing certain requests actually frees up energy for the commitments that really matter—to me, my loved ones, and my personal goals.
If you struggle to utter that small yet mighty word—“no”—here are eight simple phrases that can help you set boundaries without feeling like the “bad guy.”
Let’s dive right in.
1. “I appreciate your offer, but I have to say no this time.”
Sometimes, we hesitate to say no because we think it sounds harsh or ungrateful. This phrase solves that problem by starting with gratitude.
You acknowledge the other person’s offer, which shows respect for their time and thoughtfulness, but you also make it crystal clear that you’re declining.
I used to feel unbelievably guilty every time I said no to colleagues who wanted to “pick my brain” after work. I wanted to help, but as a single parent juggling deadlines and homework schedules, I simply didn’t have the extra bandwidth.
Saying, “I appreciate your offer, but I have to say no this time,” removed a lot of the sting. They felt heard, and I got to keep my evenings focused on family responsibilities without burning out.
2. “I wish I could, but I already have a full plate.”
For some of us, the biggest hurdle is explaining why we can’t take on another task. This phrase handles it head-on. “I wish I could” is a gentle opener that conveys goodwill.
You’re essentially saying, “It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that I truly cannot manage this right now.”
There was a point in my life when my to-do list was longer than my arm. I tried to be Superwoman—between my day job in digital communications and rushing home for my son’s bedtime routine, I’d squeeze in freelance projects and volunteer commitments, too.
But the stress caught up with me. Once I started telling people, “I already have a full plate,” a funny thing happened: they understood.
Most of the time, people respect honesty about your limitations—because they have limitations, too.
3. “I’m honored you asked, but I can’t commit right now.”
Commitment can be a huge word for those of us who yearn to help but don’t want to promise something we can’t fulfill.
That’s what makes this phrase so useful. It gracefully conveys you’re flattered—maybe even excited by the invitation—but emphasizes that you must decline for the foreseeable future.
Occasionally, I look back at times I bit off more than I could chew because I felt flattered. A friend wanted me to co-host a podcast. Another wanted me to collaborate on a new blog.
I’ve found that if you keep adding new commitments, you wind up short-changing yourself and, ironically, others as well.
By saying, “I’m honored you asked, but I can’t commit right now,” I acknowledge the compliment behind their invitation but stand firm in protecting my resources.
4. “I need to check my schedule and priorities first.”
Have you ever said yes without even thinking it through? I certainly have—especially in my younger years, when it felt like every opportunity was urgent.
However, it’s perfectly valid to take a pause before deciding. This phrase is particularly helpful if you need a moment to gauge how this request will fit into your existing responsibilities.
The famous productivity expert Stephen Covey once said, “You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage—pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically—to say ‘no’ to other things.”
Checking your schedule and priorities is the practical step before you reach that point. It’s also a gentle way to ask for time without committing. Sometimes, after reviewing my calendar, I see that I genuinely can’t take on more.
Other times, I realize I can help but must set specific boundaries (like offering only two hours a week). Either way, that little pause is a game-changer.
5. “Thank you for thinking of me, but I’ll have to pass.”
Saying “Thank you for thinking of me” immediately flips the usual dynamic of boundary-setting. Instead of feeling guilty, you’re expressing gratitude that someone appreciates or trusts you enough to make the request.
Then, “I’ll have to pass” is a friendly but firm conclusion. No further explanation needed—though you can add a brief “I have prior commitments” or “I’m focusing on another project” if you wish.
I’ve found this especially handy when turning down social engagements. There was a time when Friday nights meant trying to keep up with colleagues who wanted to celebrate the end of the workweek at trendy cocktail bars.
After a while, I realized my energy was better spent unwinding at home, reading or journaling. That doesn’t mean I don’t value my colleagues; it just means I value my downtime, too.
6. “I’d love to help, but I’m focusing on other priorities now.”
This phrase is perfect for moments when you do like the idea but have to be strategic about your time. It’s a great middle ground: you’re showing genuine interest, but you’re being transparent about where your focus lies.
I once used this phrase when a friend wanted to start an online book club. Being a book enthusiast (and a Londoner who adores wandering through independent bookstores), I was immediately intrigued.
But I’d just begun working on a new series of articles, and I knew any extra project would dilute my efforts. Saying “I’d love to help, but I’m focusing on other priorities now” was honest, respectful, and let my friend know I wasn’t simply blowing her off.
And guess what? Because I set that boundary, I ended up producing some of the best work I’d written in ages—a win-win for everyone.
7. “This doesn’t align with my current goals, so I have to decline.”
This one is perfect when you’re turning down a request that simply isn’t the right fit. We often forget that saying no isn’t just about having too little time or energy—it can also be about sticking to our bigger vision of where we want to head next.
I remember the day I first realized I had to pivot my career trajectory. I was transitioning from corporate digital communications into freelance writing and coaching.
A former coworker invited me to collaborate on a major marketing campaign for a tech start-up. On paper, it was an enticing contract—good money, decent exposure.
But it completely clashed with my goal of writing about psychological insights and self-development.
Declining was tough, but when I said, “This doesn’t align with my current goals, so I have to decline,” it felt liberating.
Soon after, I was able to write pieces that deeply resonated with an audience at DM News and beyond.
8. “Last but definitely not least: ‘No, but I can recommend someone else who might help.'”
Sometimes, a request is a perfect match—for someone else. If you have a strong network or know someone who excels in the area you’re being asked about, this phrase allows you to maintain relationships while still protecting your time.
I used this regularly back in my digital communications role. People would approach me for tasks outside my expertise—like graphic design or in-depth SEO analysis.
Rather than saying a simple no, I’d offer to connect them with a specialist friend or colleague. Sharing resources showed I wasn’t just “closing the door” on them; I was redirecting them to the right fit.
Over time, that approach strengthened my professional relationships. People learned they could trust me not only to do great work in my own niche but also to steer them in the right direction for other needs.
You might have read my post on navigating assertiveness at work, where I talk about the importance of shifting your mindset around saying no.
And it’s true: until we view “no” as a necessary (and kind!) boundary, we’ll keep tying ourselves in knots to please everyone else—often at our own expense.
Here at DM News, we’re big fans of reminding everyone that personal boundaries are an essential part of self-growth. In fact, Sheryl Sandberg once noted, “We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.”
Recognizing our own limits—and speaking them aloud—is often that pivotal first step toward real, positive change.
Wrapping up
Saying no isn’t about rejecting people; it’s about standing up for your own well-being and honoring your priorities. By using any of these eight phrases, you can be polite, respectful, and clear all at the same time.
Over time, you’ll likely notice that those around you come to respect your boundaries—and even admire you for them.
If you find it hard at first, know you’re not alone. I still catch myself hesitating whenever someone calls, emails, or texts me a request.
But a strong “no” has enabled me to become more present for my son, more mindful in my daily routines, and more engaged with my work. It’s amazing how much we can thrive once we give ourselves permission to opt out of what isn’t serving us.
So, the next time you feel that twinge of guilt for turning someone down, remember: a gentle “no” today can be the foundation of the balanced, fulfilling life you’re aiming for tomorrow.
And as always, feel free to adapt any of these phrases to sound natural to you—after all, the strongest boundaries are the ones you’re comfortable sticking to.
