If you spent your childhood being called the “smart kid,” there’s a good chance you grew up with a particular identity that shaped many of your adult experiences.
Teachers might have praised you for solving math problems in record time or writing essays that wowed the class. Maybe your parents boasted about your accomplishments to anyone who would listen. At the time, it felt great.
But now that you’re all grown up, you might find yourself grappling with certain challenges that don’t get talked about nearly enough.
Today, I want to share seven struggles many once-labeled “smart kids” often face in adulthood. Let’s dive in.
1. You overthink more than you act
When people praised your intelligence as a child, it reinforced the idea that you should always have the “right” answers. This can carry over into adulthood as overthinking.
Instead of simply trying new things and learning from whatever unfolds, you might get stuck in your head, analyzing every possible outcome.
If you’re anything like me, you may have spent too many hours sitting in front of a project or life decision, mentally mapping all the ways it could fail or succeed.
Overthinking usually stems from the desire to protect your “smart” identity. After all, what if you choose the wrong path and prove everyone—or even yourself—wrong about your supposed abilities?
The truth is, mistakes are how we grow. As Gary Vaynerchuk once said in an interview, “Skills are cheap. Passion is priceless.” Sometimes, you just need to take that first step without waiting for everything to be perfectly planned out.
2. You feel pressure to always have the answers
Throughout school, you might have been the go-to person for classmates who needed help.
As an adult, that can morph into a huge weight on your shoulders—whether it’s at work or in your personal life. People might still turn to you expecting solutions, and that old urge to not let anyone down can be strong.
When I first transitioned from my previous career in digital marketing to writing full-time, I noticed how uneasy I felt whenever I didn’t immediately know something.
It was as if I was betraying my “smart kid” label. The reality is, it’s impossible to know everything. Accepting that fact can be liberating.
One thing that helps is learning to say, “I’m not sure, but I’ll look into it.” You’ll find that people respect honesty and transparency far more than someone faking expertise.
Letting go of the need to have all the answers can actually open you up to greater collaboration and creativity.
3. You’re haunted by imposter syndrome
Smart kids often grow up hearing phrases like, “You’re a natural,” or “You’re going to do great things.”
That can set the bar incredibly high in your own mind.
When you inevitably face stumbling blocks or tasks outside your comfort zone, it’s easy to assume you’re in over your head.
This is classic imposter syndrome. You might feel like at any moment, people will discover you’re not quite as smart as you seem. The constant fear of being “found out” can lead to anxiety, procrastination, or avoidance of new challenges.
Research suggests that up to 70% of people experience imposter syndrome at some point in their career.
So if you’re struggling with it, you’re not alone.
One strategy I’ve found helpful is reframing your accomplishments: Instead of attributing them to innate talent (that “smart kid” label again), think of them as a direct result of hard work and consistent effort.
Over time, reminding yourself that your success is earned rather than accidental helps quiet the imposter voice.
4. You struggle with perfectionism
Perfectionism is that nagging feeling that whatever you do must be flawless. For many of us who grew up with constant praise, it’s all too common to believe our worth is tied to consistently delivering impeccable results.
I remember staying up late to tweak a presentation deck for a client when I was still in the marketing world, endlessly adjusting fonts and slide transitions.
To someone else, it might have looked fine on the first pass, but I was stuck in a loop of “it’s not good enough.”
It’s a slippery slope because perfectionism can lead to burnout. As Tim Ferriss noted, “What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do.”
For me, that fear was sharing work that felt less than perfect. But done is better than perfect, especially if finishing a task means you can move on to other important things.
If you catch yourself in the perfectionism trap, consider setting a time limit. Once it’s up, finalize and move forward. You’ll free up mental energy for bigger, more meaningful tasks.
5. You have a hard time asking for help
“Smart kids” aren’t supposed to need help—at least that’s the story many of us told ourselves. This mindset can make adulthood much harder than it needs to be.
From personal experience, there have been moments when I tried to take on everything on my own, purely because I was hesitant to admit I needed assistance.
Eventually, I realized that seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a sign of wisdom.
Whether it’s getting input from a mentor at work, going to therapy for mental health support, or simply asking a friend for their perspective on a relationship issue, reaching out can be incredibly valuable.
When you stop viewing help as a crutch, you open up a whole new world of growth and learning. Collaboration fosters creativity and can accelerate your progress in any domain.
As Einstein once said, “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.” Part of being valuable is knowing when to lean on others so you can all move forward together.
6. You tie your identity to external achievements
Growing up, you might have received a ton of external validation from your grades, awards, or acceptance letters.
As an adult, it can be tempting to keep chasing the next big achievement: a higher salary, a more prestigious job title, or even superficial milestones like social media followers or fancy possessions.
I’ve mentioned this before but it bears repeating: tying your self-worth to what you achieve rather than who you are can be emotionally draining.
When your sense of identity is wrapped up in external factors, a single failure or setback can feel like a personal catastrophe. You might fall into a downward spiral of self-doubt, questioning your purpose and your place in the world.
As we often emphasize here at DM News, the key is to remember that you are more than your list of accomplishments.
Cultivating intrinsic motivation—doing things because they matter to you, not because they’ll impress others—can bring a deeper sense of fulfillment.
7. You fear being “average”
Last but not least, there’s an underlying fear that your life won’t live up to the big expectations created during your childhood.
When you’re labeled “gifted,” there’s a subconscious (and sometimes very conscious) message that you have to do something extraordinary.
Being “average” can feel like a failure, even though there’s absolutely nothing wrong with living a balanced, content life on your own terms.
This fear can manifest in endless job-hopping or restlessness in relationships and hobbies.
You might find yourself constantly chasing bigger and better opportunities, not out of genuine curiosity or ambition, but out of fear that you’re wasting your potential.
If that sounds like you, it might be time to redefine what “extraordinary” means. Maybe it’s not about a fancy award or a headline-worthy career move.
It could be about making a positive impact on a few people’s lives, or using your intelligence to bring creativity and insight into everyday moments.
Rather than measuring yourself against unrealistic standards, focus on finding meaning in your daily life, wherever that may lead.
Putting it all together
Growing up as the “smart kid” can feel like both a blessing and a burden. On one hand, you may have developed a strong sense of curiosity and a love for learning that serves you well.
On the other hand, you might grapple with overthinking, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, or the never-ending quest to prove your worth.
The good news is, you’re not defined by your childhood labels. Recognizing these seven common challenges is the first step to overcoming them. Embrace mistakes.
Accept that no one has all the answers. Seek support when you need it. And above all, remember that your worth isn’t tied to constant achievements.
You’re more than just a one-time “smart kid.” You’re a full, multi-dimensional human who can find success and fulfillment on your own terms.
Sometimes, it’s in the messy, imperfect, very human journey that we discover our greatest strengths.
If you’re experiencing any of these struggles, know that you’re in good company. Many of us have been there—and many of us are still working through them.
Give yourself permission to live authentically, keep learning, and evolve beyond the expectations that once defined you. You’ve got this.
