Let’s face it: there’s been a huge cultural shift since the baby boomer generation came of age.
Back then, many women were told—by parents, by society, and sometimes by their own spouses—that being a homemaker was the highest calling.
Of course, plenty of women forged a different path and built remarkable careers. But countless others made the choice (or felt pressured) to stay home and raise a family.
I’m one of those women who, early on, tried to juggle both family and a budding teaching career.
In my case, I eventually returned to work full-time, but many of my closest friends—women I met during my early days in education—stepped away entirely from professional pursuits to focus exclusively on motherhood.
Now in our sixties, we often reflect on what this meant for our sense of self, our finances, and our overall well-being.
Today, I want to share six lasting impacts that women born before the ’80s who put their careers on hold for family rarely talk about.
These aren’t meant as regrets, but rather reflections—some revealing and some inspiring—that highlight how baby boomers are challenging traditional notions of “success” in their later years.
1. The lingering “what if?” feeling
No matter how fulfilling family life was (and still is), I’ve noticed many of my peers quietly wrestle with that nagging question: What if I had kept going with my job, my degree, or that dream of starting a small business?
While raising children is a deeply purposeful role, there can be an undercurrent of wonder about the different roads not taken.
A friend of mine, who left a promising marketing career decades ago, recently confided that she sometimes dreams about how far she might have climbed had she stayed in the corporate world.
But then she catches herself, looks at the life and family she’s nurtured, and realizes there’s pride in that choice too.
It takes courage to admit you sometimes wonder how things could have been different. There’s no shame in acknowledging both realities.
2. Quiet struggles with financial security
Even though many women of my generation were comfortable with the choice to stay home, financial stability became more precarious over time.
Some didn’t acquire the same level of retirement savings or long-term benefits they might have if they’d stayed employed.
Years later, that can mean feeling a bit behind—especially if there’s a sudden life change, like a spouse’s job loss, illness, or even divorce.
In my own teaching days, I witnessed the stress that many older women felt when they realized they had fewer options for full-time employment or retraining.
One of my neighbors, who hadn’t worked for 20 years, suddenly found herself widowed. With minimal savings and limited work experience, she had to scramble to learn new skills—turning her family recipes into a small catering service. It was inspiring but undeniably difficult.
Bill Gates once said, “It’s fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.”
Financial hardship isn’t exactly “failure,” but when life throws curveballs, there’s a lesson in resilience. For many boomer women, forging a new path in later life has become an unplanned but empowering chapter.
3. A shifting sense of identity beyond motherhood
When your identity is so closely tied to being a wife or mother, you can lose sight of who you are outside of family obligations.
For decades, these women may have introduced themselves as “Jessica’s mom” or “Brian’s wife,” with little mention of their own ambitions. Then, once the kids grow up and move out, the question becomes: Who am I, really?
I saw this firsthand when I retired from full-time teaching to focus on blogging and counseling. Even though I had a career, so much of my identity had also been shaped by my roles at home.
It wasn’t until I started volunteering at community literacy programs and joining local book clubs that I realized just how much I craved something for me.
The same is true for many of my friends who were stay-at-home mothers for years. They’re now rediscovering their talents, passions, and sense of self.
Brené Brown—a well-known researcher on shame and vulnerability—once wrote, “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”
In your sixties, that can mean dusting off an old hobby or daring to try something that has nothing to do with the family schedule. It might be painting lessons, traveling, or even launching a small Etsy shop.
The point is to give yourself permission to reconnect with that authentic self you set aside.
4. The hidden resilience from pivoting midlife
The popular assumption is that homemakers from the baby boomer era stayed out of the workforce permanently.
But in truth, many found themselves re-entering the job market or starting part-time gigs after the children left home or once finances demanded it.
Whether it was teaching at a local preschool, stepping into a family business, or helping at a community center, these women demonstrated a quiet but fierce resilience.
I’ve met former stay-at-home mothers who became some of the most empathetic and effective paraprofessionals in my old high school district. They brought with them an arsenal of life skills—patience, multitasking, conflict resolution—that they had honed while running a household.
Many told me the real reason they succeeded is that they learned how to pivot under pressure when they were raising a family on a tight budget or solving small household crises daily.
It reminds me of a quote often attributed to Thomas Edison: “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
The chance to pivot late in life might not look glamorous, but it reveals a deep well of strength and adaptability. For baby boomer women, especially those who left traditional careers for family, this resilience becomes a stepping stone to new forms of success.
5. A deeper emotional bond with family
This impact might be the most obvious but also the hardest to quantify.
By investing so many hours, days, and years into the day-to-day care of loved ones, these women often cultivated incredibly strong family ties.
It’s not just about cooking meals or attending every school function; it’s about being that foundational presence—the one who is always there.
Now that we’re in our sixties, I see the ripple effects. Adult children, especially those in their late thirties or forties, often turn to their mothers for guidance with parenting, career advice, or simply emotional support.
Grandchildren know Grandma’s house as a second home, a place where they can feel safe and loved.
Recently, my friend mentioned how her adult daughter thanked her for always being the “calm in the storm” while she was growing up. That, in itself, is a sort of legacy.
I mentioned in a previous post on DMNews that building strong relationships can be a form of spiritual and emotional wealth—something money can’t replace.
This deeper family connection, nurtured by years of hands-on care, is a testament to the richness that comes from choosing family as a focal point.
6. And we definitely can’t forget… the new definition of success in later life
Finally, perhaps most importantly, women born before the ’80s who gave up their careers are now speaking up about what they consider success.
Traditionally, success was measured in paychecks, promotions, or the corner office. But many baby boomer women have flipped the script, cherishing the intangible rewards of a well-loved family and a well-lived life.
I see it in the way my friends celebrate small victories: managing a comfortable retirement budget, taking that long-awaited trip, or simply finding the time to do something fulfilling—like volunteer work or a creative hobby.
It’s a reminder that success is multifaceted. You can miss certain professional milestones and still have a life that feels accomplished and joyful.
Henry Ford once famously said, “Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.”
For many of these women, “working together” was about building strong family units and supportive communities, something that doesn’t always show up on a résumé but is profoundly meaningful.
Conclusion
So, there you have it: six impacts that women of the baby boomer generation—those who left their careers to devote themselves to family—often don’t discuss, at least not openly.
From that ever-present “what if?” to the hidden resilience and the newer sense of success, each dimension offers valuable lessons on how life choices shape us in unexpected ways.
What about you? How do you see success evolving in your own life journey?
Whether you’re nearing retirement, already there, or just taking stock of your decisions, I’d love to hear your take. And remember: it’s never too late to start defining success on your own terms.
