After decades of grading papers, counseling students, and raising my own sons, I thought retirement would be this calm and predictable stage of life. But I’ve found it can be an eye-opening journey, one that redefines what it means to feel truly fulfilled. In my case, that shift in perspective has come from an unlikely teacher: my rescue dog, Jasper.
I adopted Jasper shortly after I retired. At the time, I was looking for a new daily rhythm—something beyond my volunteer work, weekend walks, and experimenting with healthy recipes. I’d heard about the benefits of pet companionship, but I never imagined how much a furry friend could change my entire outlook.
Below, I want to share a few lessons Jasper has taught me about unconditional love.
1. Embracing presence over achievement
One of the first things Jasper showed me was how to fully embrace the present moment. Have you ever noticed how a dog can be completely satisfied just lying in the sun or rolling around in the grass? There’s no rush to check off a list of achievements. That’s a stark contrast to how many of us have lived most of our lives—myself included. As a teacher, I was laser-focused on results: test scores, graduation rates, and college acceptances for my students.
But now, I see that success can also come in those small, unplanned pockets of joy, whether it’s savoring a quiet cup of tea on the porch or watching my grandchildren’s laughter light up a room. Rather than a never-ending to-do list, the simple presence of my dog reminds me that slowing down to enjoy life is no less meaningful than climbing the career ladder.
In her work on vulnerability and connection, Brené Brown reminds us that “vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.” The more present I am, the more I experience those deeper qualities. My dog doesn’t expect me to be anything but myself right now—no fancy title, no grand accomplishment—just me, fully there in the moment.
2. Valuing genuine connection over surface-level praise
When I first started walking Jasper around my neighborhood, I noticed how many people would stop to say hello. A wagging tail and a happy bark can open doors to conversation in a way that normal small talk never does. It made me realize how much we, as baby boomers, crave more authentic connection rather than the superficial kudos we might have chased in our younger years.
In the workplace, success often hinged on recognition—getting a raise, a promotion, or a pat on the back for a job well done. But these days, genuine connection feels far more important. I see it in the joy my neighbors express when they ask about Jasper’s latest trick or how he’s adjusting to our home. That’s the real currency, especially in later life—being known and seen as an individual, not just a professional title or a stat in the HR files.
This is the type of connection I try to foster in my volunteer work, too. Teaching literacy goes beyond simply helping someone learn how to read; it’s about forming a supportive bond. Jasper reminds me that a tail wag and a smile can go a long way in forging those connections—no fancy credentials required.
3. Showing up consistently
We often talk about unconditional love as something magical and intangible. But my dog has shown me that a big part of it is actually very practical: it’s about consistency. Rain or shine, Jasper is by my side, wagging his tail with the same enthusiasm whether we’re walking in the park on a sunny day or huddling under an umbrella in a drizzle.
When I reflect on my own life, especially now in retirement, I realize that consistency—showing up for loved ones and community—matters more than we often acknowledge. That might mean making a habit of calling an old friend once a week, reliably volunteering at the same local program, or being there for a grandchild’s school recital without fail. In the past, “success” was measured by how many big moments I could tackle at once. Now, I see it’s the steady day-to-day showing up that truly defines the depth of our relationships.
4. Finding joy in simple routines
Do you remember how exciting it could be when you were first starting your career or building a family—always striving for bigger and better milestones? We often believe that the “big successes” are where happiness lies. But Jasper has a blast simply trotting around the block, sniffing every lamppost, and greeting every friendly face. His routine might seem mundane to us, but to him, it’s a daily adventure.
I’ve started applying that mindset to my own routines in retirement—my morning stretch, reading time with my grandchildren, or the laughter during family dinners. Our generation has worked diligently to earn the kind of retirement we hoped for. Yet success isn’t about checking off exotic travel destinations or remodeling the entire house (though those things can be fun if they fit your budget and desires). Sometimes, it’s about finding daily rhythms that keep us grounded and content.
One of my fellow retirees joked that the highlight of her day was “picking the perfect bookmark” for her latest read. And why not? It’s these small acts that can spark momentary joy, reminding us life is rich with simple pleasures. Jasper, happily munching on the same chew toy and trotting along the same streets, never seems bored. He’s taught me to appreciate routine and find excitement in the familiar.
5. Forgiving quickly and letting go
Whenever I accidentally step on Jasper’s paw or need to trim his nails (which he clearly detests), he might yelp or pull away, but within minutes, he’s right back, wagging his tail as if nothing happened. Forgiveness isn’t always easy for us humans. We carry past grievances, replay old hurts, and let those memories color our present. But dogs, in their straightforward nature, remind us there’s value in moving on swiftly.
Bill Gates once said, “Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.” While he spoke in a business context, I think the takeaway applies to life as well: the frustrations and conflicts we encounter can actually teach us how to improve. In retirement, I’ve had time to reflect on moments I wish I’d handled better—whether with a student, a colleague, or even a family member. Jasper’s quick forgiveness is a shining example of letting go of grudges and practicing acceptance.
6. Celebrating small triumphs
One thing my students used to love was a good pep talk. I carried that habit right into my home life, cheering on my sons and now my grandchildren. But I never expected a dog to respond with the same enthusiasm! Each time Jasper learns a new command, I celebrate with clapping and a happy voice. His eyes light up, and he prances around with sheer delight—just for mastering something as simple as “stay.”
If we translate that approach to our own lives, we see the importance of celebrating the mini-milestones. Did you start a new fitness routine? Decide to join a local book club? Finally tackle that stack of old photos in the attic? These small achievements might not make headlines, but they enrich our sense of fulfillment.
7. Accepting love—fully and without reservation
Finally, but perhaps most importantly, one of the biggest lessons Jasper has taught me is how to receive love wholeheartedly. Humans can be guarded. We worry about imposing on others, about whether we’re deserving of someone else’s time and care. We might push love away because we’re afraid we haven’t “earned” it.
But when Jasper flops onto my lap, gazes up at me, and offers that unconditional warmth, he doesn’t second-guess his worthiness. He accepts love as naturally as he gives it. Isn’t that something we can all learn from? We’ve spent decades proving ourselves in careers, family responsibilities, or community roles. Sometimes, it’s okay to just accept affection and kindness without question.
On that note, I recall a quote by Maya Angelou: “Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” As we shift into new life stages, trusting that we’re worthy of love and care can be incredibly liberating. It frees us to form deeper bonds and discover a more balanced definition of success—one not based on what we achieve, but on how open and loving we can be in return.
