It’s up there with the most perplexing aspects of human behavior:
People who, by many standards, would be considered unsuccessful, have a penchant for sharing certain things about themselves.
You’ve heard their stories, you’ve seen their social media posts, and you’ve probably had quite a few face-to-face interactions where you’ve been left thinking, ‘Why would they share that?’
At times it’s not even overly obvious.
There’s just this nagging thought at the back of your mind, an inkling that there’s a pattern to the things these individuals choose to disclose.
Let’s delve into this fascinating topic and explore the eight things unsuccessful people love to share about themselves, as per the intriguing insights of psychology.
1) Oversharing personal failures
It’s one of the most baffling things you’ll notice.
Unsuccessful people have a peculiar tendency to overshare their personal failures.
You’ve probably been in a conversation where they just spill out all their mishaps and missteps, with little to no prompting.
At times, it doesn’t even feel like they’re looking for sympathy or advice.
It’s more like they’re stuck in a cycle of self-deprecation, feeling somewhat comfortable in their narrative of never getting things right.
And while everyone has their share of failures, the difference here is that unsuccessful individuals seem to revel in them, almost wearing them as a badge of honour.
This habit is not only counterproductive but also tends to pull them further down the spiral of unsuccess. Why? Because as they say in psychology, what you focus on, grows.
2) Constant complaining
Here’s another thing that I’ve noticed, and perhaps you have too.
Unsuccessful people tend to complain. A lot.
Have you ever sat down with someone and all they did was grumble about their job, their boss, their colleagues, their lack of opportunities?
I remember a time when I was out for coffee with an old friend. He had always been the type to see the glass half empty. That day was no different. From the second he sat down, it was a barrage of complaints – his job was going nowhere, his boss didn’t appreciate him, he never got any opportunities.
It felt like he was trapped in his own negative narrative. And the saddest part? He didn’t seem to realize how this constant complaining was holding him back from seeing potential solutions or opportunities.
This tendency to constantly complain often becomes a roadblock to their success. Not only does it affect their mindset negatively but also creates a negative aura around them, which people naturally tend to avoid.
3) The blame game
Ever heard the famous quote by George Bernard Shaw? He once said, “People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.”
This quote rings particularly true when you look at unsuccessful people.
One of their favorite things to share is how everything bad that happens to them is someone else’s fault. Their boss’ fault, their partner’s fault, the government’s fault, the economy’s fault – you name it.
They don’t seem to realize that by blaming others for their circumstances, they’re giving away their power to change things.
This habit of playing the blame game not only limits their growth but also paints them as victims of their circumstances, which is rarely an accurate or empowering narrative.
4) Lack of goals
Did you know that according to a study by Harvard Business Review, people who have goals are ten times more successful than those without any?
This brings us to another thing that unsuccessful people love to share about themselves.
They often talk about their lack of goals or direction in life.
It’s not uncommon to hear them say things like, “I don’t really know what I want,” or “I don’t have any specific goals.”
The problem isn’t just the lack of goals but also their complacency about it. They seem to be okay with drifting along, letting life happen to them, instead of taking charge and steering their life in a direction they desire.
This lack of purpose and direction not only hampers their personal growth but also prevents them from reaching their full potential.
5) Fear of change
Following from the lack of goals and constant blame game, it’s probably not surprising that unsuccessful people often share their fear of change.
They are stuck in their comfort zones, preferring the familiar discomfort over the unpredictability of change.
You might hear them say things like, “I wish things could be different, but I’m just too scared to change,” or “I’ve always done it this way.”
This resistance to change is often a big hurdle in their path to success.
Because let’s face it, in a world that’s changing every second, those who cannot adapt and evolve are bound to get left behind.
Unfortunately, instead of embracing change as an opportunity for growth and learning, they view it as a threat and tend to avoid it at all costs.
6) Negative self-talk
With all this talk of fear of change, lack of goals, and constant complaining, it’s not hard to imagine what goes on in the minds of unsuccessful people.
That’s right. Negative self-talk.
They often share about the barrage of negative thoughts they have about themselves. Thoughts that say they’re not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough.
“I’m just not cut out for this,” or “I always mess things up,” are common refrains you might hear.
Sadly, this negative self-talk often acts as a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more they feed these thoughts, the more they believe in them, and the more they act in ways that confirm these beliefs.
This vicious cycle of negativity only serves to keep them stuck in their unsuccessful patterns and prevents them from breaking free and achieving success.
7) Lack of self-confidence
Building on the negative self-talk, another thing that unsuccessful people often share about themselves is their lack of self-confidence.
It’s not uncommon to hear them say things like, “I don’t believe in myself,” or “I don’t think I can do it.”
The sad part is, this lack of self-confidence often becomes a barrier to their success. They are so consumed by self-doubt that they don’t even attempt to take on new challenges or seize opportunities that come their way.
This lack of confidence not only keeps them stuck in their comfort zones but also inhibits their ability to grow and succeed.
Because as the saying goes, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” And unfortunately for them, they often think they can’t.
8) Lack of action
After all these points, it probably comes as no surprise that unsuccessful people often share about their lack of action.
They talk a lot about what they want to do, the changes they want to make, the goals they want to achieve. But when it comes to actually taking action, they fall short.
“I’ll start tomorrow,” or “I’ll do it when I feel ready,” are common phrases you might hear.
Unfortunately, this procrastination and lack of action is often the biggest barrier standing between them and success.
Because at the end of the day, success isn’t just about having dreams or making plans. It’s about taking consistent action towards those dreams and plans, no matter how small.
And this is where unsuccessful people often stumble. They get stuck in the planning stage, never quite making it to the action stage. And without action, there can be no progress, and without progress, there can be no success.
Concluding thoughts
If you find these tendencies resonating with you, don’t despair.
Identifying these patterns is the first step towards transforming them. And the good news is, no characteristic is set in stone.
It’s all about self-awareness and taking small steps towards change. Start by recognizing when you fall into these patterns. Do you often blame others for your circumstances? Do you find yourself stuck in a cycle of constant complaining? Are you prone to negative self-talk?
Once you spot these patterns, challenge them. Ask yourself – is this thought or behavior serving me? Is it getting me closer to where I want to be? If not, what can I do differently?
Change doesn’t happen overnight. But with conscious effort and persistence, these habits can be replaced with more empowering ones.
Take this as an opportunity to alter your attitudes. To shift from a mindset of unsuccess to one of growth and potential.
Psychology today shares valuable insights on how to cultivate mental strength, which can be a helpful resource on this journey.
As you embark on this journey of transformation, remember to be patient with yourself. Celebrate your small victories along the way. Because each step forward, no matter how small, is a step towards success.
