We’ve all been there—lying awake at night, replaying a conversation from earlier in the day, wondering if we said the right thing. Or scrolling through social media, worrying about how our latest post is being perceived.
Our desire to be accepted is understandable; it’s a fundamental human need to belong. But there’s a difference between healthy social awareness and letting the opinions of others run your life.
I’ve learned this lesson the hard way—especially during my years working in digital communications. In an environment where brand image and public perception can make or break a campaign, I found myself overly fixated on approval (both personally and professionally).
It took me some serious self-reflection (and a few gentle nudges from those who knew me best) to recognize just how much energy I was pouring into pleasing others.
If you find yourself constantly stuck, hesitating, or even making decisions based solely on external validation, you might be caring way too much about what others think. Below are seven telltale signs—and how they could be holding you back.
1. You constantly second-guess your decisions
Have you ever had a great idea—one that genuinely excited you—only to feel a rush of doubt the moment you imagined what other people might say? You end up revisiting and revisiting the decision until the excitement fizzles out. Instead of forging ahead, you stall.
Second-guessing can be a symptom of focusing excessively on possible criticism. In my case, I used to worry about every social media post I wrote, reading and re-reading each sentence to the point of exhaustion. Guess what happened? I missed windows of opportunity because I was too wrapped up in how others might react.
When you’re perpetually reconsidering your moves, you become your own bottleneck. This paralysis doesn’t just cost you time—it prevents you from taking bold steps that lead to real progress.
As the marketing landscape evolves, especially here at DM News, we see time and again that the early movers—the ones who take a chance—often reap the rewards. The same applies to your personal and professional life. Trust your instincts. A little risk might be exactly what you need.
2. You struggle to set boundaries
The inability to say “no” is often tied to a deep fear of disappointing others. You might find yourself accepting extra work, rearranging your schedule, or bending over backward for the sake of harmony. But what about your own well-being?
From a psychological standpoint, people-pleasing can wreak havoc on self-esteem. A study found that individuals who place extreme importance on external approval are more likely to experience stress, burnout, and even symptoms of depression.
I remember a time when my son wanted me to attend one of his school events, but I also had a last-minute request at work to join an after-hours meeting. Instead of politely declining the meeting—something I was well within my rights to do—I juggled both.
I ended up frazzled and didn’t fully show up for him or the meeting. In hindsight, I realized I had prioritized not wanting to disappoint my colleagues over my own priorities.
Setting boundaries doesn’t make you selfish; it makes you effective. It preserves your emotional energy and helps you show up wholeheartedly in every area of your life.
3. You apologize even when you haven’t done anything wrong
Do you find yourself saying “sorry” multiple times a day, often for things beyond your control or that don’t really warrant an apology? Over-apologizing can signal a deeper need for validation.
Think about how it looks to those around you. If you’re apologizing unnecessarily, you might inadvertently come across as less confident—someone who’s taking responsibility for every mishap in the room, even if it’s not your fault.
As Sheryl Sandberg once said, “Taking initiative pays off. It is hard to visualize someone as a leader if they are always waiting to be told what to do.” Apologizing too much can put you in the position of appearing overly deferential instead of taking proactive steps and owning your space.
A small mental tweak can work wonders here. The next time you catch yourself about to say “I’m sorry,” pause and ask yourself if there’s really something you need to apologize for. If not, a polite “excuse me” or “thanks for bearing with me” can be more empowering—and less draining on your self-worth.
4. You find social media overwhelming
These days, caring about others’ opinions often revolves around likes, shares, and comments. If you feel anxious whenever you post—or if the number of “likes” on your latest update affects your mood—you might be letting outside validation set the tone for your day.
I used to meticulously track the engagement on my personal posts when I was first dipping my toes into writing publicly. If a post didn’t meet my internal benchmark, I’d delete it or tweak it, looking for some magic formula that would bring the approval I craved.
In reality, no amount of digital applause could fully silence the root issue: I was measuring my self-worth by external feedback.
Social media can be a fantastic tool for connection—especially for professionals in marketing who want to gauge audience sentiment—but it can also feed an unhealthy fixation on others’ perceptions. Setting boundaries around screen time or limiting how often you check notifications can be a game-changer.
5. You avoid taking bold risks in your career
Ever stayed in a safe but unfulfilling job because it seemed like the “acceptable” choice to those around you? Or hesitated to pitch a groundbreaking idea in a team meeting, worried about ridicule? Caring excessively about other people’s judgments can cripple your professional growth.
One friend of mine, a brilliant data analyst, wouldn’t speak up in meetings because she feared sounding “pushy.” It wasn’t until she realized that her silence was stifling her potential that she finally began to take the initiative. Suddenly, she was the go-to person for fresh ideas, and her career trajectory soared.
I’ve seen something similar in my own journey. Shifting from working in digital communications at a corporate job to pursuing writing wasn’t exactly a move that pleased everyone around me. But once I trusted my gut and cared more about my own goals than external expectations, doors opened in ways I never imagined.
Experts like Stephen Covey often highlight the importance of proactive leadership and self-trust. Covey famously noted, “Every human has four endowments—self-awareness, conscience, independent will, and creative imagination.”
By exercising these, we can “rewrite our script.” That might mean rewriting the script that says you can’t take risks or speak your mind.
6. You hesitate to share your authentic opinions
How many times have you sat in a meeting or a casual conversation and held back your true thoughts because you weren’t sure how people might react? Perhaps you nodded along, offering a lukewarm agreement to keep the peace.
This might seem harmless, but over time, it can chip away at your sense of identity. When we’re always censoring ourselves, we end up feeling disconnected—not just from the group but from our own values.
In marketing circles—like those we discuss at DM News—we talk a lot about “brand authenticity.” Let me tell you, personal authenticity is even more important.
Robert Greene, the author of The 48 Laws of Power, has said, “Shake off the social norms which make us so rigid and disciplined, and follow our instincts.” If you’re constantly editing your views to match others’ expectations, you’re missing out on opportunities to stand out and connect meaningfully.
And ironically, people respect authenticity—even if they don’t agree with you.
7. You experience anxiety when facing criticism or rejection
Last but definitely not least, there’s the paralyzing fear of disapproval. Criticism is inevitable, and sometimes it’s even constructive. But when the idea of someone disliking your work—or you—feels like the end of the world, it could be a sign you’re too wrapped up in the court of public opinion.
I’ve had my fair share of harsh feedback in the writing world. Early on, I once had a blog post picked apart by a seasoned editor—every paragraph was slashed with red ink. My immediate reaction was panic and self-doubt. Instead of seeing it as a chance to improve, I was devastated, convinced this meant I shouldn’t be writing in the first place.
Over time, though, I learned to view criticism through a more constructive lens: separate the emotional sting from the useful insight. The mental shift was huge. Now, feedback is less about personal rejection and more about refining my craft.
In the broader professional landscape, being open to criticism is essential for growth. However, letting fear of rejection dictate your choices will keep you from ever stepping into your full potential.
Wrapping up
It’s natural to want acceptance, but when that longing becomes the driving force behind your decisions, it can stifle your creativity, your boundaries, and even your mental health. I hope these seven signs have helped you reflect on whether you’re overly influenced by external opinions—and how that might be holding you back.
Remember, just because you’ve been operating this way doesn’t mean you have to continue. By shifting your mindset, setting boundaries, and learning to trust your own instincts, you can reclaim control over your life and your goals.
Whether you’re navigating a new career move or simply trying to live with more authenticity, learning to balance external input with internal conviction can make all the difference.
And if you ever catch yourself wavering, pause and ask: “Am I living for myself, or am I living to please everyone else?” The answer may just point you toward the next bold step in your journey.
