We’ve all been there—life starts feeling like a never-ending treadmill, and somehow, no matter how fast we move, we’re still stuck in one place. We go through the motions, focusing on day-to-day tasks and responsibilities without ever stepping back to question whether we’re actually living up to our potential. Sound familiar?
In my own life, I’ve had moments where I realized I was just surviving—waking up, taking care of my son, completing my tasks at work, and then crashing into bed at the end of the day. Everything revolved around the next urgent thing.
But eventually, I asked myself, “Is this really what life should be about?” If you’ve ever asked yourself the same, there’s a good chance you’re more capable than you think…you might just be stuck in survival mode.
Here at DM News, we’re all about personal growth, goal-setting, and helping one another thrive, not just survive. Let’s explore eight signs you might be holding yourself back more than you realize.
1. You’re always on high alert (but have nothing to show for it)
Have you ever felt that constant buzz of stress pulsing through your body? You’re worried about the next bill, that email from your boss, the chores that keep piling up…but when you look back on your day, you can’t quite pinpoint what you achieved that truly matters to you.
This is one of the clearest indications that you’re stuck on survival mode autopilot. Studies from the American Psychological Association note that chronic stress can trick us into thinking we’re working hard when in reality, we’re burning out and spinning our wheels.
Our cortisol levels spike, and we get trapped in a cycle of anxiety without a solid plan to move forward.
The key here is recognizing that frantic energy isn’t the same as productive energy. If you’re constantly doing, doing, doing, yet end most days feeling like you got nowhere, it might be time to pause and ask: “Am I focusing on the right things, or am I simply reacting to whatever hits me next?”
2. You’re afraid to dream bigger
Sometimes, people in survival mode stop allowing themselves to imagine what they really want out of life. They might catch themselves thinking, “I can’t afford to dream big right now. I have bills, responsibilities, and a million other things in my way.”
I used to feel guilty for even thinking about taking a step back from my day job to pursue writing. It felt safer to stick to what I knew, even though I had a burning desire to share my ideas and experiences.
As Sheryl Sandberg once said, “We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.” The moment I realized I was ignoring my aspirations, I took small steps—pitching blog posts on the side—and it eventually led to a whole new career path.
If the word “vision” makes you roll your eyes or if you think big goals are for people with fewer constraints, that’s a sign you might be ignoring a deeper calling. Survival mode can make you play it too safe, but deep down, you know you have bigger dreams tucked away somewhere.
3. You don’t take risks—even calculated ones
Let me be clear: Not everyone wants to, or should, jump off a cliff with a shaky parachute. But there is such a thing as healthy risk-taking.
It could be something as simple as putting yourself forward for a new project at work, signing up for an evening course in a subject that intrigues you, or even starting that small business you’ve been thinking about for years.
When we’re on survival autopilot, our brains go into self-protection mode. That means we often say no to opportunities because all we see are potential pitfalls.
While caution can be a virtue, too much of it can keep you stuck. If you find yourself always listing the reasons something won’t work—without ever asking how it could—that’s a sign you might be capable of more.
4. You dismiss compliments and downplay accomplishments
Have you ever brushed aside a genuine compliment? Maybe someone praised your work ethic or said you gave an amazing presentation, and your first instinct was to respond with something like, “Oh, I just got lucky,” or “It’s not that big a deal.” Sound familiar?
It’s easy to fall into this trap, especially if you’re used to running through life on the bare minimum time for self-reflection. In survival mode, we’re so focused on the next hurdle that we don’t pause to appreciate what we’ve already cleared. This does more harm than good—both for our self-esteem and for how others perceive us.
I used to do this all the time when I worked in digital communications. No matter how much positive feedback I received, I’d shrug it off. Over time, it chipped away at my confidence because I never truly owned my capabilities.
Stephen Covey wrote, “Personal leadership is not a singular experience. It doesn’t begin and end on the day you get the job.” So even if you’re not the CEO of a company, you can still exercise personal leadership by confidently acknowledging what you do well.
5. You rarely check in with yourself
One of my favorite weekend rituals is to drop by a local independent bookshop, grab a comforting cup of tea, and journal about whatever’s on my mind. It doesn’t always yield a life-changing insight, but it forces me to pause, breathe, and ask, “How am I really doing?”
If you can’t remember the last time you looked inwards, you could be stuck in survival mode. Without checking in, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture—your goals, your values, and your mental health.
You might have read my post on the power of self-reflection (which I wrote a while back), where I explored how quick daily check-ins can do wonders for clarity and overall well-being. Just five to ten minutes of journaling or mindful breathing can open up space for new ideas and point out opportunities you’ve been missing.
6. You live for the approval of others
It’s natural to feel good when someone recognizes our efforts. But if your entire sense of progress or worth hinges on that next pat on the back, you might be functioning in survival mode. When we’re desperate for external validation, we’re often avoiding the internal work of figuring out what truly matters to us.
Take it from me: I once spent months working on a project—trying to anticipate what everyone else wanted from me. In the end, I lost sight of my unique contribution and ended up feeling drained. The feedback I received was lukewarm because I wasn’t bringing my true self to the table.
John C. Maxwell once noted, “The greatest mistake we make is living in constant fear that we will make one.” Needing approval can stem from fear of mistakes. But ironically, focusing too much on not making mistakes can hold you back from the kind of bold moves that lead to real growth.
7. You feel overworked and underfulfilled
In a 2022 workplace well-being survey, a large percentage of respondents said they felt consistently overwhelmed yet underutilized. When you’re stuck in survival mode, life can resemble a hamster wheel: lots of motion, very little progress. If you’re working yourself to the bone but still feel unaccomplished, that’s a huge red flag.
Sometimes as a single mom, I catch myself in this pattern. Between parenting, writing, and personal errands, I can feel like I’m juggling a hundred tasks at once.
But if I don’t set aside time to tackle projects that truly matter to me—like exploring new ways to integrate mindfulness into daily life—I end up feeling unfulfilled, no matter how “busy” I am. The busy trap doesn’t equal productivity, and it certainly doesn’t equal growth.
8. Last but definitely not least, you don’t celebrate your milestones
It’s a small but powerful habit: celebrating the wins, however big or small. Yet when you’re stuck in survival mode, you often skip this step altogether. You cross the finish line of a major goal and immediately rush to the next thing.
I used to think celebrating was a luxury—something reserved for people who had time and resources to spare. But here’s what I’ve learned: celebrating your milestones solidifies your sense of competence and motivation.
It’s not about throwing a huge party every time you meet a deadline. It could be something as simple as treating yourself to a favorite meal or even just sharing the achievement with a close friend.
When we don’t acknowledge those milestones, we lose a vital chance to reflect on how far we’ve come—and how far we can still go. That habit of gratitude for your own efforts can break you out of “just surviving” and remind you that you’re actually thriving in ways you might not have noticed.
Wrapping up
So, do any of these eight signs hit home? If so, you’re definitely not alone—most of us dip in and out of survival mode as life tosses challenges our way.
But if these signs are screaming “Yes, that’s me!” in every category, it’s time to recognize just how much you’re capable of. You’re stronger, more creative, and braver than your current state of day-to-day stress might have you believe.
The first step to getting unstuck is awareness—spot the patterns, accept that they’re holding you back, and then begin making small, manageable changes.
That might be scheduling time for self-reflection, setting bigger goals that excite (and scare) you a little, or making it a habit to acknowledge and celebrate your wins. Even the smallest shift can plant a seed for massive transformation down the line.
Remember, life is about more than just surviving the next 24 hours. You’re here to flourish, to create, and to contribute in a way that feels meaningful to you. I genuinely believe that once you realize you’ve been limiting yourself, you’ll open the door to new possibilities—and that’s when real growth happens.
Take a moment right now and reflect: Which of these eight signs resonates most with you? Then consider one small action you can take this week to break free from the confines of survival mode.
Trust me, once you let go of that “just get by” mindset, you’ll be amazed at how much more you have to offer—to your career, your relationships, and most importantly, to yourself.
