We’ve all been there: you’re sitting in a café or waiting in line, and you notice someone showing off a little too much—or at least trying a little too hard to appear more “upper class” than they actually are. It can be awkward for everyone, but also quite telling.
I’ve witnessed these behaviors countless times. And I can’t help but wonder: why do we feel pressured to put on these fancy facades in public? Often, it’s rooted in our desire to be admired or accepted. Yet, ironically, those very behaviors can backfire—making us seem insecure rather than sophisticated.
Below, I want to dive into eight of the most obvious signs that scream, “I’m trying way too hard to fit into the upper class,” and why they actually sabotage the confident, genuine vibe we might be hoping to project.
Let’s get into it.
1. Wearing flashy brand labels from head to toe
I totally understand the temptation to show off a stylish new handbag or that pair of shoes you saved up for. I love fashion myself. But there’s a huge difference between enjoying quality pieces and turning yourself into a walking advertisement.
When all you see is monogrammed belts, oversized logos on jackets, or brand names plastered across every visible surface, it comes across less like true style and more like a plea for validation.
Ironically, the people we might think of as truly “upper class” often opt for understated elegance, choosing well-made items that don’t scream their brand from a mile away.
A recent study highlighted something called “conspicuous consumption”—the act of purchasing high-end items primarily to show off social status. Researchers found that people who engage in this behavior are seen as less trustworthy and less likeable.
So, when a person is decked out in logos, it’s more likely to raise eyebrows than earn admiration.
My advice? Go for quality over quantity. Find pieces that you genuinely love and feel comfortable in, rather than ones you think will broadcast your worth. True style shines through confidence, not brand labels.
2. Name-dropping and bragging about connections
We’ve all met that person who can’t stop mentioning the important people they’ve (supposedly) rubbed elbows with. Maybe they casually drop into conversation that they once had dinner with a CEO of a global brand or that a famous celebrity “texts them all the time.”
Here at DM News, we’re big on genuine connection—and name-dropping just doesn’t give off that vibe. It’s more likely to elicit an eye-roll than genuine respect. Don’t get me wrong—if you’ve built a network of impressive people in your life, that’s awesome.
But real upper-tier folks rarely feel the need to boast about their acquaintances. They just exist in those circles naturally, because of shared interests or professional alignment.
If you want to be seen as someone who belongs in higher echelons, focus on building authentic relationships. Let your skills, character, and sincerity shine rather than relying on the reflected glory of people you barely know.
3. Overusing a “posh” accent or forced vocabulary
You might have read my post on authentic self-presentation (if not, no worries!), where I discussed the importance of communicating in a way that feels true to you.
One thing that comes up time and again is the pressure people feel to switch up their speaking style—throwing in big words or trying on an accent that’s not actually theirs—to appear more educated or well-bred.
I’ll never forget the coworker who started adopting an entirely different accent after a trip abroad, despite having spent their entire life in the same city. And, sure enough, it didn’t make people see her as worldly or elite; it made people question her authenticity.
As Sheryl Sandberg once wrote, “We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.” So if you catch yourself putting on “airs” or dropping fancy terminology you wouldn’t normally use, pause and ask: “Is this genuinely how I talk or am I just trying to impress?”
A confident person speaks in a way that matches who they really are—and that’s far more engaging than a faux-luxe accent ever will be.
4. Going on and on about luxurious experiences
Picture this: you’re out with friends or colleagues, and one person dominates the conversation by recounting every detail of their ski trip in the Swiss Alps, the yacht party they attended, and the five-star restaurants they frequent.
Now, sharing exciting experiences is totally fine—I love hearing travel stories, and sometimes I share my own. But when every other sentence is about “exclusive” places and how “high-end” everything is, it can feel performative.
Interestingly, a study by Cornell University found that people actually derive greater happiness from experiences than from material possessions. However, that happiness doesn’t increase when we brag about them incessantly to others. In fact, it can dampen social connections because people perceive the bragging as a sign of insecurity.
If you’re truly someone who enjoys the finer things, that’s wonderful. Let the conversation flow naturally, and show genuine interest in what others have been up to as well.
The real hallmark of class isn’t constantly talking about your privileged experiences—it’s graciously sharing them when it’s relevant and being just as curious about other people’s lives.
5. Looking down on service staff
For me, this is a huge red flag. When I see someone snap at a waiter, demand special treatment without reason, or talk down to a salesperson, I immediately think they’re trying to assert a (false) sense of superiority.
And it’s not just me—most people find rude behavior toward service staff to be a strong indicator of poor character, no matter how fancy someone’s outfit or accent might be.
Dale Carnegie famously wrote, “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.” Being courteous and respectful, especially to those who are serving or assisting us, is a true sign of emotional intelligence (and genuine class).
This point always makes me think of the times I’ve taken my son to a local café in London. Occasionally, we’ll spot people who huff or glare at the barista if their cappuccino isn’t made in under a minute.
Contrast that with the individual who politely says, “No worries at all, take your time,” and you’ll see which interaction feels more “upper class” in spirit.
6. Policing other people’s etiquette
Don’t get me wrong, proper manners can make social situations smoother. But when someone starts correcting how others hold their fork or criticizing the way someone pronounces a foreign dish, that’s a different story. It’s like they’re trying to climb a status ladder at the expense of everyone else’s comfort.
I remember once being at a dinner party (these events can be a minefield of faux pas, let me tell you) where a guest spent more time lecturing everyone about the “proper” wine-glass-holding technique than actually enjoying the meal. It was exhausting.
The irony? It didn’t make them look sophisticated—it just made them the person nobody wanted to sit next to.
If you’re truly knowledgeable about etiquette, that’s fantastic. But share it graciously, not as a tool to belittle others or put them in their place. Real class is about making people feel at ease, not judged.
7. Buying status symbols on credit
I’ve seen people stretch their finances to the brink just to appear wealthy—designer cars they can barely afford, lavish dinners they charge to their credit card (which they’ll spend months paying off), and so on. On the outside, it might look “successful,” but behind the scenes, the stress and instability can be overwhelming.
One of my acquaintances once confided that she was drowning in debt because she kept buying the latest designer handbags to “keep up appearances” with her social group.
She admitted it was less about her own love for handbags and more about not wanting to be the “odd one out.” Sadly, that pressure to conform meant she lost her sense of financial security and peace of mind.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a single mom who’s juggled budgets, it’s that real confidence comes from knowing you can handle your finances responsibly. True wealth—or real class—doesn’t require you to prove yourself by living beyond your means.
8. Constantly comparing yourself to others
Last but definitely not least, let’s talk about comparison. The whole idea of trying to “fit into the upper class” often comes from comparing ourselves to those we view as more privileged.
But when this comparison turns into a public show of one-upmanship—like boasting that your vacation was more exotic or your apartment is in a pricier zip code—it’s a glaring sign of insecurity.
As Robert Greene has noted, “What kills the creative force is not anger but this kind of huge internal insecurity.” And I’d extend that to say insecurity also hinders genuine relationships. When we’re consumed by how we stack up against others, we miss the chance to actually connect with them.
If you catch yourself constantly pointing out how you’re better, wealthier, or more refined in some way—especially in public conversations—take a step back.
Ask yourself, “Am I actually comfortable in my own skin right now?” Because genuine confidence feels more like ease and less like a race to prove your worth to everyone around you.
Wrapping up
Whether it’s sporting head-to-toe designer logos, dominating conversations with luxurious exploits, or name-dropping at every turn, these habits don’t communicate true confidence or sophistication. Instead, they often reveal a longing for external approval—a desire to signal “Hey, look at me, I belong here!”
But fitting in isn’t about how many brands you own or which elite circles you claim to move in. Real class—and genuine self-assuredness—comes from a place of inner security. It’s about treating people with courtesy, embracing your authenticity, and feeling comfortable with your own successes (and your limitations, too).
If you’ve spotted yourself in any of these points, don’t worry. Self-awareness is the first step. As you become more mindful, you can shift from trying to impress everyone else to actually enjoying life on your own terms. And that, in my book, is what truly sets someone apart.
Remember, we all have our unique paths. Let’s own where we are, grow from there, and keep it classy—without the show.
