We’ve all been there, right? You finally decide to splurge on a stay at a top-tier hotel—maybe it’s a special occasion or you just want to treat yourself—and suddenly, you’re navigating a whole new world of posh lounges, elevator operators, and pillows that seem way too fluffy for their own good.
It can be exhilarating, but also a little nerve-racking. And it’s easy to do things that give away the fact you’re not entirely used to this kind of luxury.
I’ve been in that awkward spot myself. I still remember my first visit to a super-swanky hotel in London. I was on a work trip back in my corporate days, and I felt both excited and terrified stepping into the lobby.
It felt like everyone already knew I was “just visiting” the high life. Let’s just say there were quite a few things I did—and didn’t do—that might have hinted at my middle-class roots.
So, in the spirit of sharing the wealth (or at least the knowledge), here are eight things that instantly reveal you’re more used to three-star getaways than five-star suites. And hey, there’s no shame in it—we’re just here to learn and maybe have a bit of fun along the way.
1. Showing overly giddy excitement at every little “free” perk
Have you ever caught yourself gasping when you see the complimentary slippers by the bed or the fancy toiletries in the bathroom? Let’s face it: posh hotels often come with plush robes, fancy coffee machines, and high-end lotions just waiting to be sampled.
If you find yourself gleefully exclaiming, “Oh my goodness, they have lavender hand cream!” at full volume, you might be sending up a middle-class flare.
Don’t get me wrong—I still get a twinge of excitement every time I discover an extra plush towel or spot that well-stocked mini-bar (even if I rarely touch it). But the key is to maintain a certain level of calm.
After all, in these hotels, that sense of “nothing is too good for us” is part of the atmosphere. Ironically, you’re supposed to act as though you expect top-notch treatment, even if inside you’re secretly celebrating.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy those freebies. Grab a pair of slippers to take home as a souvenir if the hotel permits it, but do it with an air of nonchalance. Channel your inner, “I see plush slippers daily,” even if your real life might say otherwise.
2. Struggling with tipping etiquette—or forgetting to tip altogether
If there’s one thing that can quickly highlight inexperience in upscale hotels, it’s an awkward moment of not knowing what to do with the folks who handle your luggage, hail your cab, or deliver your room service.
I remember standing in front of a bellhop once, rummaging through my purse, trying to recall if one pound coin was acceptable or if I needed a crisp fiver. Spoiler: rummaging is always a giveaway that you’re not quite in your comfort zone.
Tipping protocol varies by country, but in top-tier hotels, staff often rely on gratuities—especially bellhops, valets, and housekeeping. And if you’re not used to it, this can be tricky territory.
My advice is to do a bit of research (or ask discreetly at the front desk) about what’s customary. It saves both you and the staff from that uncomfortable dance of “Do I or don’t I tip?”
As Seth Godin has said, “Interactions are the core of our personal and professional lives.” How we handle those small gestures with service staff speaks volumes about our respect for others—and our readiness to navigate the unspoken codes of luxury travel.
3. Making a big fuss about the prices on the menu
A swanky hotel restaurant might charge the same for a starter as you’d pay for an entire meal somewhere else—especially if it’s in a major city. It can be shocking when you open the menu and see a bowl of soup for the price of your weekly grocery budget.
And if your immediate reaction is to declare, “How on earth can they charge this much for soup?”—yes, people can tell you’re not exactly a regular.
When it comes to fine dining, part of the (sometimes questionable) charm is the silent acceptance of sky-high prices. If you’d rather not pay a small fortune for dinner, do a bit of homework.
Sometimes, the hotel’s bar menu is less pricey, or you can eat elsewhere and simply enjoy the ambience at the hotel lounge. But if you do decide to dine in, try not to let sticker shock show on your face—it’s a dead giveaway.
4. Overexplaining yourself to hotel staff
“Hi, I’m checking in, and this is actually my first time here. I normally stay at more modest places, so I’m a bit out of my comfort zone. Also, I’m not sure how valet parking works—do I just hand over my keys to that gentleman outside, or do I go park myself?”
We’ve all been guilty of this kind of babbling—especially when nerves get the better of us. Over-sharing is a classic sign you’re not used to the routine. Luxury hotel staff are trained to anticipate your needs. It’s their job to make your stay as smooth as possible without requiring you to explain your life story.
A simple approach is to maintain a friendly but succinct conversation. Ask for what you need politely and confidently. This is one instance where less really is more.
5. Packing away every complimentary item in sight
We’ve all done the “souvenir sweep” of the hotel bathroom, collecting mini shampoos, conditioners, and lotions. Some folks even tuck away tea bags, sugar packets, or the little decorative soaps. Now, if you’re slipping one or two items into your bag (especially the ones you’ve already opened), nobody’s going to bat an eyelash.
But if you’re on a mission to hoard every possible freebie, from the sewing kit to the shoe polish, people might notice—and yes, they might peg you as someone who doesn’t stay in these places often.
I’ll admit I still find those miniature bottles adorable. My son thinks it’s fun to collect them, too. But there’s a difference between taking a few novelty items and clearing the shelves.
Staff usually restock every day, so if they come in and see it all gone in one evening, you might raise some eyebrows. Grab a couple of keepsakes, sure. But keep it in check.
6. Being visibly uncomfortable with too much attention
High-end hotels are known for their attentive service. Someone greets you at the door, another person offers to carry your bags, and a third might pop up just to ensure you got a fresh bottle of sparkling water. For those of us who aren’t used to that level of fussing, it can feel overwhelming and even embarrassing.
I still recall that feeling of wanting to whisper, “It’s okay, I can handle my own suitcase,” but also not wanting to offend anyone. If you’re visibly squirming or awkwardly insisting, “No, no, it’s fine,” staff might guess you’re not exactly at home in the five-star universe.
My best advice is to appreciate the service. Let them take your bag if it’s offered. Smile, say thank you, tip where appropriate, and let yourself enjoy being pampered a bit. Sheryl Sandberg once said, “Taking initiative pays off. It is hard to visualize someone as a leader if she is always waiting to be told what to do.”
While her quote speaks to leadership, it also applies to self-assurance in new environments. Accept the help graciously—you’re allowed to enjoy the perks.
7. Asking too many questions about what’s included
“So, is the breakfast included in my rate? What about the spa access—do I pay extra for that, or is that free? Are there any surcharges for using the gym? How many devices can I connect to the Wi-Fi at once?”
I’m not saying you shouldn’t confirm what you’re paying for. In fact, you definitely should. But there’s a way to be discreet about it. If you pepper the front-desk clerk with question after question, it can seem like you’re bracing for hidden fees or that you’re extremely conscious of every penny.
Granted, at many fancy hotels, there are indeed sneaky charges for certain amenities—but you can usually get the rundown with a single polite question: “Could you let me know which amenities are included in the room rate?” That one line should cover everything.
There’s nothing wrong with being budget-conscious (trust me, I’m a single mom, so I watch my finances closely). Still, it’s possible to keep a lid on the inquisition and request clear information in one go. That way, you know what to expect without looking stressed over potential charges.
8. Trying too hard to act like you belong
Lastly—and perhaps most crucially—there’s the overcompensation. This is when you try to perfectly mimic “luxury hotel etiquette” to the point of caricature. Maybe you adopt an overly posh accent, complain about a “draft in the lounge,” or insist on telling everyone how “simply divine” the décor is.
Overdoing it can come across as inauthentic, and the staff and other guests can usually sense when someone’s forcing a persona.
True confidence is often found in simplicity. Stephen Covey famously said, “Strength lies in differences, not in similarities.” That rings true here.
If you’re not from this world of five-star experiences, don’t try to bury your true self. Politeness, kindness, and genuine warmth often resonate far more than any attempt to sound like an aristocrat. You can embrace the experience while still being you.
Wrapping up
Staying at a fancy hotel can be a wonderful treat—a little slice of luxury that breaks up the day-to-day grind. For those of us who aren’t used to silk sheets and staff at our beck and call, it can feel like stepping into someone else’s life for a bit. And yes, there might be some telltale signs that we’re not exactly lifelong VIPs.
But here’s the thing: there’s nothing wrong with being middle class, working class, or from any background in between. The point is to enjoy the experience without letting your nerves or over-compensation get the best of you.
A bit of research on tipping and amenities goes a long way, as does a gracious, polite demeanor. You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not to have an incredible time.
And if you happen to do one (or all) of the things on this list, don’t sweat it. We’ve all been there, and each stay is a chance to learn. Like I always say here at DM News, growth comes from embracing new experiences and soaking up the lessons—no matter how fancy (or un-fancy) your hotel may be.
Enjoy the pampering, savor the comfort, and, if nothing else, walk away with a good story to share. Just maybe think twice before you tuck that entire stash of toiletries into your suitcase! Safe travels—and happy indulging.
