Marriage isn’t always a walk in the park, but it doesn’t have to be a roller coaster either.
The secret lies in acceptance. There are certain undeniable truths we need to embrace to make our marriages work.
In this article, we will dive into these truths, 8 facts to be precise. They might not always be easy to accept, but doing so can pave the way for a happier and healthier marriage.
So, buckle up as we get on this enlightening ride together, sharing these life-changing insights. Here are eight facts you need to accept for a blissful marriage.
1) Acceptance of imperfections
No one is perfect, and that includes you and your spouse.
Marriage is a merger of two different individuals, each with their unique quirks and flaws. Expecting your partner to be flawless or fit a certain mold is a recipe for disappointment.
This is not to say that you should ignore harmful behaviors or settle for less than respect and love in your relationship. Rather, it’s about understanding and accepting that your partner, like everyone else, has imperfections.
Remember, it’s these imperfections that make us human and unique. Embracing these can not only lead to a more harmonious marriage but also foster growth individually and as a couple.
But bear in mind, acceptance is not the same as complacency. It’s about recognizing the imperfections and working together to improve on them, without trying to change who your partner fundamentally is.
So let’s take a leaf out of that old adage – Love isn’t about finding the perfect person; it’s about seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
2) Communication is key
I learned early on in my marriage that communication isn’t just about talking; it’s about understanding too.
Just after our first anniversary, my spouse and I hit a rough patch. We were both busy with work and had little time for each other. It felt like we were drifting apart.
One day, we sat down and had a heart-to-heart talk. I shared how I felt, my worries, and my fears. To my surprise, my spouse was feeling the exact same way.
This open conversation was a turning point for us. We realized that we had been bottling up our feelings instead of sharing them with each other. We agreed to set aside time each day to talk, not just about our day but about our feelings too.
And trust me when I say this – it made all the difference.
Communication is the lifeline of a relationship. It enables us to understand our partner’s perspectives, desires, and fears. It’s not just about talking, but listening and understanding too.
So remember to keep those lines of communication open in your marriage. It might not always be easy, but it’s definitely worth it.
3) It’s okay to argue
Contrary to popular belief, arguing isn’t necessarily a bad sign in a marriage. In fact, a study from the University of Michigan found that couples who suppress their anger have a mortality rate twice as high as those who express it.
Arguing can actually be a healthy way to express disagreements and work through conflicts. It allows both partners to express their feelings and can lead to problem-solving.
However, the key lies in how you argue. It’s crucial to maintain respect, avoid personal attacks, and aim for resolution rather than winning.
So next time you find yourself in a disagreement with your spouse, remember it’s not about who’s right or wrong. It’s about understanding each other’s perspectives and finding common ground.
4) Prioritize your relationship
Life is a balancing act, and it’s easy for your marriage to get lost amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life. Between work, kids, chores, and social obligations, finding time for your spouse can often feel like a challenge.
But here’s the thing. Your relationship should be your top priority. It’s the foundation of your family life, and if it crumbles, everything else can too.
Make a conscious effort to spend quality time with your spouse. It doesn’t have to be grand gestures or expensive vacations. Simple things like a shared meal without distractions, a walk in the park, or a quiet coffee date can do wonders.
Remember, it’s not about how much time you spend together, but how you spend that time. Every moment spent together is an opportunity to connect, understand, and grow as a couple. So make sure to prioritize these moments in your life.
5) Embrace change
Change is inevitable, and it’s the only constant in life. Your spouse isn’t the same person you married, and guess what? You aren’t the same person either. And that’s okay.
Our experiences shape us, help us grow, and often change us. We evolve, and so do our relationships.
The key to a happy marriage is embracing these changes. It’s about understanding that both of you will grow and change over time. These changes can sometimes be challenging, but they can also be beautiful.
So, instead of resisting change, embrace it. Grow together, evolve together, and remember to love each other through every twist and turn life throws at you. Your marriage is not just about who you both were when you said “I do”, but about who you’re becoming together every single day.
6) The importance of forgiveness
I remember a time when a mistake I made almost cost us our relationship. I had broken our trust, and the guilt was eating me up. But instead of turning away, my spouse chose to forgive me.
We often think of forgiveness as something we do for others, but in reality, it’s something we do for ourselves. Holding onto anger and resentment can be more damaging to us than the actual wrongdoing.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning the wrong. It means choosing to let go of the hurt and resentment, giving both you and your partner a chance to heal and move forward.
Remember that everyone makes mistakes. What matters is how you deal with them. Learning to forgive can be challenging, but it’s essential for a happy and healthy marriage.
7) Keep the spark alive
Remember the butterflies you felt when you first fell in love? That rush of excitement when you saw your partner? While it’s normal for those initial feelings to mellow down over time, it’s important to keep the spark alive in your marriage.
Keeping the romance alive might seem challenging, especially with a busy life. But it’s the little things that often matter the most. A surprise note, a random hug, a compliment out of the blue, or even just holding hands while watching TV can remind your partner of your love for them.
Marriage is not just about building a life together; it’s also about maintaining the love and romance that brought you together in the first place. So, make sure to keep fanning those flames and reignite your love every single day.
8) Marriage is a partnership
At the end of the day, marriage is a partnership. It’s about two individuals coming together to navigate life hand in hand. It’s about sharing joys and sorrows, successes and failures, hopes and fears.
Your spouse is not just your partner; they’re your teammate. And like any successful team, you need to work together, support each other, and respect each other’s roles.
In a marriage, no one person is superior or inferior. You’re equals, each bringing unique strengths and abilities to the table. Remember this when you face challenges or disagreements. It’s not about winning or losing; it’s about finding a solution together.
So, always strive to make decisions together, appreciate each other’s contributions, and remember that you’re in this journey together. After all, a successful marriage isn’t just about finding the right partner; it’s also about being the right partner.
Final thoughts: It’s a journey
Marriage, like any relationship, is a journey. It’s a path filled with laughter and tears, triumphs and trials, joy and sorrow. And every journey is unique, just as every marriage is unique.
A happy marriage isn’t about avoiding disagreements or maintaining a facade of perfection. It’s about embracing imperfections, communicating openly, forgiving generously, and loving unconditionally.
It’s about understanding that change is inevitable and growing together through it. It’s about keeping the spark alive and respecting each other as equal partners in this journey of life.
As renowned psychologist and author, M. Scott Peck, once wrote, “Love is a decision, not just an emotion.” It is an active choice that we make every day in our relationships.
So remember, your marriage is not defined by a single moment or event but by the everyday choices you make to love, respect, and support your partner. Cherish this journey, for it is one of the most beautiful and rewarding journeys you will ever embark on.
And finally, remember that while these are facts you need to accept to ensure a happy marriage, they are also practices you need to continuously cultivate. Because at its heart, a happy marriage isn’t a destination; it’s a journey – one that’s worth every step.
