Let’s face it – there’s a vast difference between true strength and performative masculinity.
True strength doesn’t come with a swagger or a loud voice. It’s not about flexing muscles or dominating conversations.
Performative masculinity, on the other hand, is all about show. It’s a facade, a mask worn to project a persona that’s often far from the real character underneath.
True strength is about character, resilience, emotional intelligence and much more. So here are eight traits that separate the men from the boys, the genuinely strong from those just putting on a show of masculinity.
Hang tight, as we delve into these traits that truly define what it means to be strong.
1) Emotional intelligence
True strength isn’t just about physical prowess or dominance – it’s about emotional intelligence as well.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. It’s the trait that allows you to navigate complex social situations, build strong relationships, and make sound decisions.
Performative masculinity often shies away from emotions, viewing them as a sign of weakness. Real strength, on the other hand, recognizes the importance of emotions and uses them as a tool for better understanding and connection.
So, if you’re aiming for true strength, don’t forget to work on your emotional intelligence. It’s a sign of maturity, understanding, and yes – strength.
2) Resilience
Another trait that defines true strength is resilience. It’s the ability to bounce back from setbacks, keep going in the face of adversity, and not let failure define you.
I remember a time in my life when I faced a significant setback. I had worked for a promotion at work for months, putting in extra hours and giving it my all. But when the time came, I was passed over for someone else. It was a tough blow.
But instead of letting this setback define me, I used it as fuel to push harder and work smarter. Yes, it stung, but it also made me more resilient. I realized that failures and setbacks are part of life, and what truly matters is how you respond to them.
Performative masculinity might put on a show of never failing or being affected by setbacks. But true strength acknowledges the reality of failure and learns from it. It’s about resilience, not perfection.
3) Empathy
True strength is deeply connected to empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s what allows us to connect on a deeper level, to truly see the world from another person’s perspective.
Contrary to the stoic image often associated with performative masculinity, real strength is not afraid to tap into empathy.
In fact, studies have shown that empathy is a key leadership skill. One study published in the Journal of Business and Psychology found that leaders who show more empathy towards their employees tend to have teams that perform better, are more satisfied with their jobs, and are less likely to burn out.
So, if you’re striving for true strength, don’t forget the importance of empathy. It’s not just about understanding others – it’s about connecting with them on a deeper level.
4) Authenticity
True strength is synonymous with authenticity. It’s about being true to who you are, standing by your values, and not being afraid to show your true self.
Performative masculinity often involves putting on a facade, pretending to be something you’re not. But there’s nothing strong about hiding behind a mask.
Being authentic means being honest, genuine and transparent. It requires courage to show your true self, with all its strengths and weaknesses, but that’s where true strength lies.
So remember, the next time you’re tempted to put on a show, ask yourself – am I being true to myself? Because authentic strength is far more powerful than any facade.
5) Compassion
Compassion, the ability to feel for another person and wish to alleviate their suffering, is a cornerstone of true strength. It’s not about being the toughest guy in the room or having the loudest voice, but about understanding and caring for others.
Performative masculinity often paints compassion as a weakness, but nothing could be further from the truth. Strength isn’t about being so tough you can’t be touched. It’s about being so strong that you have the capacity to care for others, even when you’re dealing with your own struggles.
So, if you’re looking to embody true strength, remember that compassion is a key trait. It’s not just about caring for others – it’s about staying strong enough to keep your heart open, even when it hurts.
6) Humility
Humility is a trait that often gets overlooked in our society, yet it’s crucial to true strength. It’s about recognizing that you don’t have all the answers and that there’s always room for growth.
There was a time when I thought I knew it all. Fresh out of college, armed with a degree and brimming with passion, I thought I was ready to take on the world. But life has a funny way of showing us how little we actually know.
Through experiences, both good and bad, I’ve learned the value of humility. I’ve learned to listen more than I speak, to seek advice when I’m in doubt, and to always stay open to learning.
Performative masculinity often equates humility with weakness, but true strength recognizes that admitting you don’t know everything doesn’t make you weak – it makes you wise.
7) Respect
True strength is reflected in the way you treat others, and respect is a fundamental part of that. It’s about acknowledging the worth and dignity of all people, regardless of their status or differences.
Performative masculinity often thrives on power dynamics, where respect is given based on hierarchy or dominance. But true strength knows that every person deserves respect simply because they are human.
Respect is about listening to others, valuing their opinions, and treating them with kindness and consideration. It’s about recognizing that everyone has something to contribute, and that we can learn from each and every person we meet.
So remember, if you want to embody true strength, make respect a core value in your life.
8) Confidence
The cornerstone of true strength is confidence. This isn’t about projecting an image or putting on a show. It’s about knowing your worth, embracing your abilities, and walking through life with a quiet assurance that comes from within.
Performative masculinity often confuses confidence with arrogance, but they are far from the same. Confidence is rooted in self-assuredness and acceptance, not in the need to prove oneself or belittle others.
So if there’s one thing you should know about true strength, it’s this – it starts with confidence. Embrace who you are, believe in your abilities, and let your confidence shine. Because true strength isn’t about what others see – it’s about what you know inside.
Final thought: It’s about character
The essence of true strength isn’t about outward appearances or displays of dominance. It’s rooted in the nuances of character.
From emotional intelligence and resilience to empathy, authenticity, and compassion – these traits define true strength. They speak volumes about a person’s character and their capacity to navigate life with grace, wisdom, and respect.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.”
This sentiment rings true when we talk about strength. It’s not about putting on a show or pretending to be something you’re not. It’s about being true to yourself and others, showing compassion in the face of adversity, standing up for what’s right, and growing through every experience.
So as you reflect on your own journey towards true strength, remember that it’s not about the facade of masculinity, but the depth and richness of your character. This is the real measure of true strength.
