There’s a clear line between pretending to be good and genuinely being good.
The difference is all about actions. Faking goodness is all about presenting a pleasant image, while real goodness is seen in one’s behavior, even when no one is watching.
Identifying a genuinely good person can be tricky. But don’t worry, I’ve got your back!
Here are eight behaviors that give away those who aren’t as good as they seem. If someone displays these, you might want to think twice about their true character.
This is the intro to an article titled “If someone displays these 8 behaviors, they’re not a genuinely good person”.
1) They’re always playing the victim
Navigating through life, we all face obstacles and challenges. Things don’t always go our way.
However, there’s a significant difference between acknowledging hardship and continuously playing the victim.
When someone constantly portrays themselves as the victim, it’s a sign they may not be a genuinely good person. This behavior is often a tactic to manipulate others’ emotions and gain sympathy.
Genuine goodness involves accountability and honesty about one’s actions, not shifting blame or seeking attention through self-pity.
So be alert to those who are perpetually stuck in the role of ‘the victim’. It might be a hint that they’re not as good as they seem.
2) They disrespect your boundaries
Respecting personal boundaries is a crucial aspect of any healthy relationship. And anyone who consistently disregards these boundaries isn’t showing signs of being genuinely good.
Here’s an example from my own life. I once had a ‘friend’ who would always drop by unannounced, often at very inconvenient times. Despite numerous conversations where I explained how this was disruptive to me, they continued to do so.
Their lack of respect for my personal space and time was a clear sign that they didn’t value our friendship as much as their own needs. This behavior showed me that they were not the genuinely good person I had initially thought they were.
So, if someone continually crosses your boundaries even after you’ve communicated your discomfort, you might want to reconsider their place in your life.
3) They lie frequently
Honesty is the cornerstone of being a genuinely good person. And someone who lies consistently, whether about big things or small, might not be as good as they seem.
A study published in the journal Nature Neuroscience found that the more someone lies, the less guilty they feel about it. This is because each time we lie, our brain’s emotional response to dishonesty diminishes.
So, if someone frequently tells lies without showing any signs of remorse or guilt, it’s likely a sign that they’re not a genuinely good person.
4) They’re always negative
Positivity is a characteristic commonly found in genuinely good people. They tend to see the brighter side of things and uplift those around them.
On the other hand, if someone is consistently negative, always finding fault and rarely seeing the good in situations or people, it might be a sign of their true character.
Negativity not only brings down the person harboring it but also those around them. It’s a draining energy that can make interactions uncomfortable and tiring.
So, if someone is always shrouded in negativity, you might want to reconsider just how good they really are.
5) They lack empathy
Empathy is about understanding and sharing the feelings of others. It’s a fundamental trait of genuinely good people.
However, if someone shows a consistent lack of empathy, it can be quite revealing about their character. These individuals often struggle to put themselves in another’s shoes or show genuine concern for others’ feelings.
Imagine seeing someone in distress and not feeling an urge to comfort them, or hearing about someone’s success and not feeling happy for them. It’s a disconnect that can feel quite cold and heartless.
If someone lacks empathy, their ability to form genuine, caring relationships is compromised. It’s a clear sign that they might not be the good person they project themselves to be.
6) They take more than they give
In any relationship, whether it’s friendship, family, or romantic, there should be a balance of give and take.
I once knew someone who was always asking for favors, yet rarely offered help when others needed it. Over time, it became clear that they were more interested in what they could get out of the relationship rather than contributing to it in a meaningful way.
This one-sided behavior is a telltale sign that someone might not be a genuinely good person. Genuine goodness involves being generous and giving, not just taking advantage of others’ generosity.
7) They gossip frequently
Gossiping is a habit that can reveal a lot about a person’s character. If someone often talks negatively about others behind their back, it’s a clear sign that they might not be as good as they seem.
Genuinely good people generally don’t engage in gossip. They understand that it’s hurtful and unproductive. Instead, they focus on positive conversations and aim to build others up, not tear them down.
So, if someone is frequently involved in gossip, you may want to reconsider their true nature. It’s likely they’re not the genuinely good person you thought they were.
8) They’re not genuinely happy for others
One of the most telling signs of a genuinely good person is their ability to feel genuine happiness for others. They celebrate their friends’ successes, they’re thrilled when their loved ones achieve something, and they don’t let jealousy color these emotions.
On the flip side, if someone struggles to be truly happy for others, it’s a significant red flag. This behavior often stems from jealousy, insecurity, or a competitive nature.
If someone can’t celebrate others without feeling threatened or diminished, it strongly suggests that they’re not the genuinely good person they might appear to be.
Final thoughts: Unmasking the facade
Understanding human behavior is a complex undertaking, often revealing the stark difference between appearance and reality.
What’s crucial to remember is that actions speak louder than words. A person’s behavior is a far more accurate indicator of their character than their projected image.
The eight behaviors discussed are red flags, indicating that someone might not be as good as they seem. This knowledge can help you make informed decisions about who you invite into your life.
Remember, it’s not about judging but understanding. It’s about discerning genuine goodness from a carefully constructed facade.
Everyone has the capacity for change, growth, and improvement. But that starts with self-awareness and honesty. As the saying goes, “Character is what you do when no one is watching.”
So, as we navigate our relationships and interactions, let us strive for genuine goodness – not just in others but in ourselves too. After all, the world could always use more genuinely good people.
