Creating a genuine connection with another person is a unique skill, and those who excel at it often share certain qualities.
These individuals have a knack for making people feel truly seen, heard, and understood. They can tap into someone’s emotions and thoughts, making them feel valued and special.
When we meet such people, we often wonder – what’s their secret? Well, it turns out they usually possess some rare qualities.
Let’s delve into these 8 special traits that allow certain people to make others feel truly seen.
1) Empathy
One of the most significant traits found in those who make others feel seen is empathy.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It’s more than just being able to relate to someone’s experiences; it’s about truly feeling their emotions as if they were your own.
Those who are naturally empathetic have a unique ability to tap into other people’s emotional states. They can sense when someone is upset, excited, nervous, or happy, often without any explicit communication.
This quality allows them to connect with others on a deeper level. It makes people feel seen and understood because the empathetic person is not only acknowledging their emotions but also sharing in them.
But remember, empathy isn’t about solving someone’s problems or trying to fix their feelings. It’s about being present and offering understanding without judgment. It’s about making others feel that they are not alone in their experiences.
And that, in its essence, is what makes people feel truly seen.
2) Active Listening
Another rare quality these individuals possess is the skill of active listening.
Active listening isn’t just about hearing the words someone is saying. It’s about giving your full attention, understanding the message, and responding thoughtfully.
I can vividly recall a moment when I experienced the power of active listening. I was going through a tough time and decided to share my worries with a close friend. While I was talking, she wasn’t just nodding or replying with occasional “uh-huhs”. She was completely present, looking into my eyes, reflecting back what I said, and asking insightful questions.
Despite not providing solutions to my problems, she offered something far more valuable – her undivided attention and understanding. She made me feel seen and heard, like my feelings truly mattered.
Active listening can be a game-changer in making others feel acknowledged and valued. It shows that you’re not just passively hearing their words; you’re appreciating their thoughts and feelings, making them feel truly seen.
3) Authenticity
Authenticity plays a crucial role in making others feel truly seen. Genuine people are not afraid to show their true selves, including their strengths and weaknesses.
In a world where social media often showcases only the best parts of people’s lives, authenticity is incredibly refreshing. It creates a safe space where others feel comfortable being themselves too.
Research shows that authenticity can lead to increased happiness, better relationships, and a greater sense of well-being. When someone is authentic, they give others the permission to be authentic too, creating a deep and real connection that makes people feel truly seen.
Being genuine means being true to your values, expressing your thoughts and feelings honestly, and not being afraid to show vulnerability. Authenticity is not about being perfect; it’s about being real.
4) Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence, or EQ, is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in a positive way. It also involves your ability to understand and influence the emotions of others.
People with high EQ are good at recognizing their own emotional state and the emotional states of others. They can use this understanding to relate to others more effectively and navigate social situations with ease.
When someone with high emotional intelligence interacts with you, they’re able to discern what you’re feeling and respond appropriately. They can even help diffuse tension or conflict by managing their own emotions and influencing the emotions of others.
This quality helps people feel understood and validated in their emotional experiences, creating a deep sense of being seen and acknowledged.
5) Unconditional Positive Regard
Unconditional positive regard is a term that was first coined by psychologist Carl Rogers. It means accepting and respecting others without passing judgment or evaluating their worth.
Those who have this quality see the inherent value in every person they meet. They approach others with an open heart and mind, offering warmth and acceptance.
This doesn’t mean they ignore the flaws or wrongdoings of others. Instead, they can separate a person’s actions from their inherent worth as a human being. They see the good in people, even when they make mistakes or are going through tough times.
When someone treats you with unconditional positive regard, you feel truly seen. You feel safe to be yourself, to express your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or rejection.
In a world that often measures our worth by our achievements or mistakes, unconditional positive regard is a rare and precious gift that can make anyone feel deeply seen and valued.
6) Nonverbal Communication
Nonverbal communication is an essential aspect of human interaction. It includes body language, facial expressions, gestures, and even the tone of our voice.
I remember a time when I was feeling down but didn’t want to burden anyone with my problems. I tried to put on a brave face and act like everything was fine. But my friend noticed something was off. He saw the subtle changes in my body language – the slight slump in my shoulders, the lack of my usual enthusiasm.
He asked if I was okay, and his concern made me feel seen and cared for at a time when I felt very alone. He didn’t need words to understand that I was struggling; he read my nonverbal cues.
It taught me a valuable lesson about the importance of nonverbal communication in making others feel seen. It’s not always about what we say, but how we say it and what our body language communicates. It’s about being attuned to these subtle signs and responding with empathy and understanding.
7) Patience
Patience is a virtue, especially when it comes to making others feel seen. Those who are patient take the time to truly understand others, even when it isn’t easy.
They don’t rush to conclusions or make snap judgments. Instead, they give others the time and space to express themselves fully, even if it takes a while.
They understand that people are complex, and that it can take time for someone to open up or for their true feelings to surface.
By being patient, they show that they value the person and their experiences, giving them the time and space they need to feel truly seen and heard.
Patience shows respect for the other person’s process and journey, creating a safe space where they feel free to express themselves fully.
8) Genuine Interest
The final, but perhaps most important, quality that people who make others feel seen have is genuine interest. They are genuinely interested in understanding others, in hearing their stories, their thoughts, their feelings.
They ask questions not out of obligation, but from a place of sincere curiosity. They want to know what makes you tick, what you’re passionate about, and what your dreams are.
This genuine interest makes a person feel valued and important. It shows that you care not just about the surface level details, but the deeper aspects of who they are.
A genuine interest in others can’t be faked. It’s something that comes from within, driven by a love for people and a desire to understand them better.
And it’s this quality, perhaps more than any other, that makes people feel truly seen.
Reflection: It’s all about connection
At the core of these qualities is a fundamental human need – the need for connection.
Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, has spent decades studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame. One of her most significant findings is that humans are wired for connection – it’s in our biology.
From the time we are born, we need connection to thrive emotionally, physically, socially, and spiritually.
People who make others feel truly seen understand this deep-seated need. They use qualities like empathy, active listening, authenticity, emotional intelligence, unconditional positive regard, nonverbal communication skills, patience, and genuine interest to build meaningful connections.
In understanding others, they allow others to better understand themselves. That is the power of feeling truly seen – it’s not just about being acknowledged; it’s about being understood.
As you reflect upon these qualities, think about how you can cultivate them in your own life. How can you make the people in your life feel more seen? How can you deepen your connections with them?
Remember that each interaction you have is an opportunity to make someone feel truly seen. And in doing so, you’re not only improving their life but also enriching your own.
