We are brought up to think we should pair with someone as we get older: 8 reasons why it is ok to stay single

  • Tension: As individuals age, they often feel increasing pressure to find a romantic partner, questioning their self-worth and life choices if they remain single.
  • Noise: The dominant narrative suggests that happiness and fulfillment are only achievable through romantic relationships, implying that singlehood equates to loneliness or incompleteness.
  • Direct Message: Embracing singlehood allows for personal growth, financial independence, and self-discovery, demonstrating that a fulfilling life doesn’t require a romantic partner.

This article follows the Direct Message methodology, designed to cut through the noise and reveal the deeper truths behind the stories we live.

There’s a common belief that as we age, we should end up with a partner by our side.

This societal norm has been ingrained in us from a young age. However, it’s not the only option, nor should it be seen as the ultimate goal in life.

Choosing to stay single is perfectly fine, and sometimes even more beneficial. But many people don’t understand this and end up feeling pressured or incomplete.

In this piece, I’ll share eight reasons why it’s completely okay to be single. And remember, these are not justifications or apologies – they’re affirmations that your life can be just as fulfilling without a romantic partner by your side.

1) Embrace self-discovery

Being single gives you the freedom to focus on yourself.

When we’re in a relationship, a lot of our energy is directed towards understanding and accommodating our partner. This isn’t a bad thing, but it can sometimes mean we lose sight of our own needs and desires.

Staying single allows you to prioritize self-discovery. You can delve into your interests, focus on personal growth, and learn more about who you are as an individual.

Think about it. You have the time and space to explore new hobbies, travel solo, or even start a business. You get to decide your life’s direction without having to consider a partner’s needs or preferences.

The beauty of this is that it helps you become more self-aware and confident. And these are traits that will serve you well, whether you choose to stay single or enter into a relationship in the future.

Remember, being single isn’t synonymous with being lonely. It’s an opportunity to forge a deep and meaningful relationship with the most important person in your life – yourself.

2) Financial independence

As a single person, you have full control over your money. You decide where it goes and how it’s spent, and there’s no need to compromise or negotiate with a partner.

Let me share a personal example. A few years ago, I decided to take a year off to travel around the world. It was a decision that came out of the blue – one that would’ve been a lot harder to make if I had a partner to consider.

As a single person, I didn’t have to worry about someone else’s financial situation or commitments. I had the freedom to save for my trip, plan my itinerary, and ultimately embark on an adventure that significantly enriched my life.

It’s not just about being able to make large-scale decisions like this one. It’s also about daily financial management. From deciding on the grocery list to managing utility bills, you’re in control when you’re single.

Financial independence is empowering, and it’s one of the reasons why staying single can be an attractive option.

3) Health benefits

Staying single can actually have some unexpected health benefits.

Research has shown that single people tend to be more physically active than those in relationships. A study conducted by the University of Basel in Switzerland and the Max Planck Institute for Education Research found that married couples generally exercise less frequently than singles.

When you’re single, you often have more time and flexibility to maintain an active lifestyle. Whether it’s going to the gym, joining a sports team, or simply taking a walk in the park, singles are more likely to prioritize physical activity.

This isn’t to say that people in relationships can’t be physically active. But the findings do suggest that singles have more opportunity and perhaps motivation to keep moving.

So not only does being single give you the chance to focus on your individual interests and goals, but it could also lead you towards a healthier lifestyle.

4) Freedom to explore

When you’re single, the world is your oyster. You have the freedom to explore new places, try new things, and meet new people without any hesitation or compromise.

Imagine having the opportunity to take a job in a different city or country. When you’re single, that decision becomes a lot easier. You don’t have to consider a partner’s job situation, their feelings about relocating, or how such a move would affect your relationship.

Or perhaps there’s a quirky hobby or class you’ve always wanted to try. As a single person, you can pursue these interests without worrying about fitting it into someone else’s schedule or needing their approval.

Being single allows you to live life on your own terms. It’s about embracing opportunities and experiences that might be more challenging to pursue if you were in a relationship.

5) Deepening other relationships

Often, we get so caught up in the idea of romantic love that we forget about the other significant relationships in our lives.

When you’re single, you have the time and emotional space to nurture these relationships. It could be spending more quality time with your parents, reconnecting with old friends, or even making new ones.

I’ve found that some of my most meaningful and heartfelt conversations have happened over a late-night cup of tea with a dear friend or during a long walk with my siblings.

There’s a certain depth and richness that comes from these connections, which are just as important as romantic relationships. They give us a sense of belonging, help us grow, and provide support when we need it.

Remember, being single doesn’t mean being alone. It’s an opportunity to strengthen the bonds you share with the people who’ve been there for you all along.

6) Healing and growth

Being single can provide a valuable period of healing and personal growth.

Life isn’t always smooth sailing, and we all go through tough times. I’ve had my share of heartbreak and disappointment, and I’ve found that being single during these periods was actually a blessing in disguise.

Rather than jumping into another relationship, I took the time to heal, reflect, and understand myself better. I learned what I truly wanted in a partner and what I could do differently in the future.

This period of being single also helped me develop resilience and self-reliance. I realized that while it’s great to have a partner, I can also thrive on my own.

Taking time for healing and personal growth isn’t just about becoming a better partner in the future. It’s about becoming a better you.

7) Avoiding wrong decisions

When you’re single, you’re less likely to rush into a relationship for the wrong reasons.

Societal pressure or the fear of being alone can sometimes push us into relationships that aren’t right for us. We may ignore red flags or make compromises that aren’t in our best interests.

But when you’re comfortable with being single, you’re more likely to hold out for a relationship that truly meets your needs and aligns with your values. You understand that being in a wrong relationship is far lonelier than being single.

Being single gives you the space to reflect on what you truly want. It means you won’t settle for less just because you’re afraid of being alone. It’s about making conscious decisions that contribute to your overall happiness and wellbeing.

8) Self-love and acceptance

The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself.

Being single provides the perfect opportunity to cultivate this relationship. It’s about learning to love and accept yourself, recognizing your worth, and being comfortable in your own company.

Once you master the art of self-love, you become less dependent on others for happiness and validation. You understand that being single isn’t a sign of failure or inadequacy, but a choice that can lead to a fulfilling, independent, and content life.

Remember, your value is not defined by your relationship status but by who you are as an individual. Embrace your singleness as a chance to love and accept yourself fully.

Final thoughts: The choice is yours

The narrative surrounding relationships and singleness often tends to be skewed. We’ve been conditioned to believe that coupling up is an essential milestone in life. But as we’ve explored, being single can be just as fulfilling, if not more so, in certain circumstances.

The crux of the matter is choice. It’s about understanding that you have the freedom to decide what’s best for you. It’s about rejecting societal norms that don’t align with your personal values and aspirations.

A quote by Warsan Shire, a British-Somalian poet, beautifully encapsulates this sentiment:

“My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude.”

So, whether you choose to be single or in a relationship, remember that the decision should be based on your happiness, growth, and contentment.

Ultimately, it’s your life. You have the power to define what success and fulfillment look like for you. And that’s a liberating thought indeed.

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