Ask a boomer about dating in 1975 and you’ll get stories that sound like a cross between a Jane Austen novel and a rotary-phone infomercial.
Ask a gen-Z friend about dating in 2025 and they’ll shrug, swipe, and send a meme with a frog on a unicycle. Culture moves fast, and nowhere is the whiplash clearer than in the rules we use to steer our love lives.
Below are ten relationship commandments most boomers accepted as gospel—rules that make today’s twenty-somethings raise an eyebrow, clutch their emotional-support water bottles, and mutter, “hard pass.” Let’s time-travel.
1. “The man must make the first move—no exceptions”
Back then, a straight woman initiating flirtation was labeled “forward” (translation: scandalous). A guy was expected to call—on an actual landline, where your dad could answer and say, “Brown residence, who’s speaking?”
Gen-Z, raised on Bumble and TikTok thirst traps, can’t imagine needing a Y-chromosome to launch a conversation. To them, romance is a two-player game where anyone can press start.
2. “Never live together before marriage (or you’ll jinx it)”
Cohabitation was whispered about like Voldemort. Boomers believed moving in without a ring doomed the union. Many signed leases on a wedding night they later regretted, because they discovered their new spouse stored toenail clippings in the medicine cabinet.
Gen-Z runs compatibility beta-tests: co-living, co-working, sometimes co-owning a dog named Tofu before consulting the courthouse. They see trial runs as smart, not sinful.
3. “If he pays, he picks—always”
Dinner decisions used to be simple: the guy booked the restaurant and covered the check, because “provider” vibes equaled romance.
Boomers even judged a man’s character by how often he flashed his wallet. Today’s daters split sushi via QR-code, Venmo each other mid-meal, and treat location-picking as a collaborative Google-Sheet event. Paying isn’t a power move; it’s math.
4. “Don’t go to bed angry—even if it means staying up ’til dawn”
Boomer couples wore exhaustion like a marriage badge: We fought all night but finally hugged at sunrise—true love! Modern psychologists—and gen-Z’s beloved sleep-tracking rings—say nope.
Sometimes the healthiest play is to press pause, get REM sleep, and revisit the issue when your brains aren’t marinating in cortisol. Rage-scrolling at 3 a.m. is not healthy conflict resolution.
5. “Combine your money on day one”
Joint checking was the default. Separate finances implied a lack of trust, or worse, a secret hobby (like disco lessons). Gen-Z values financial autonomy.
They might open a shared “houseplant fund” for Monstera-buying but keep personal accounts for side-hustles and self-care. It’s not secrecy—it’s spreadsheets with boundaries.
6. “Keep problems private—therapy is for ‘real trouble’ ”
Boomers treated marriage counseling like chemo: powerful but only if things were terminal. Airing grievances outside the house was a betrayal.
Fast-forward to 2025, where people livestream couples’-therapy TikToks (the comments are wild) and treat mental-health check-ups like dental cleanings.
Gen-Z sees therapy as preventive maintenance, not an emergency brake.
7. “Stay together for the kids, no matter what”
Divorce carried a neon warning label: “Break glass only if asteroid hits.” Many boomers soldiered on in silent misery, convinced intact families produced stable offspring.
Gen-Z, many of whom are those offspring, view model-ing resentment as worse than co-parenting peacefully. They’d rather see two happy households than one house full of passive-aggressive fridge notes.
8. “The man is the head of the household”
This rule came with sub-clauses: he drives on road trips, he decides vacation budgets, and the remote is basically an heirloom. Today, leadership is situational.
The partner who knows Airbnb hacks books the lodging; the one with patience waits at airport security. Power is shared, not assigned by birth certificate.
9. “Big secrets are fine—little surprises are rude”
Boomer etiquette said snooping in a partner’s diary was acceptable if you worried for their own good, yet asking direct questions about past relationships was “prying.”
Gen-Z flips it: personal privacy (phones, DMs) is sacred, but transparency about feelings, boundaries, and STI status is baseline respect. The only surprise they like is concert tickets, not hidden credit-card debt.
10. “Divorce equals failure—fight harder”
For many boomers, ending a marriage felt like flunking a life exam you could have passed with more grit. Cue guilt, shame, and awkward church potlucks.
Gen-Z interprets divorce as an exit strategy, not a scarlet letter. If a partnership blocks growth, they’ll Marie-Kondo it: “Thank you for the lessons, goodbye.” To them, quitting the wrong story is braver than sticking with a plot twist you hate.
Closing thoughts: progress, not perfection
Before we crown gen-Z the enlightened love gurus, let’s remember: every generation writes rules that will someday look outdated. Boomers gave us voter-rights marches and the concept of a honeymoon.
Gen-Z is giving us pronoun respect and digital consent. If history is any guide, gen-Alpha toddlers will eventually call all our dating habits cringe—probably via hologram.
What matters is learning the spirit behind the rules: respect, communication, and mutual care. Toss what’s toxic, keep what works, and feel free to remix. Love, like slang, evolves—so let’s keep talking and updating the user manual together.
