Bonjour, my friends! Tina Fey here, reporting live (well, not exactly live, but go with it) from the land of baguettes, berets, and the Eiffel Tower. I spent three months living in Paris as a digital nomad, which basically means I pretended to work on my laptop while eating too many pastries and trying to look cool in front of local Parisians. Spoiler alert: looking cool in front of Parisians is nearly impossible unless you’re somehow genetically engineered to exude effortless chic. My time there was magical, beautiful, and occasionally downright smelly. And guess what? None of that is going to be showcased on your favorite influencer’s Instagram feed. So, let’s dive into the real deal—unfiltered and un-airbrushed.
The “Romantic” Reality: Lots of Walking, Lots of Stairs
Paris is ridiculously walkable. Actually, that’s one of its many charms. In theory, you can walk from Notre-Dame to the Louvre in about 20 minutes, then maybe continue on to the Champs-Élysées for some window shopping. Sounds romantic, right? Sure, until you realize there’s a zillion metro stairs that won’t show up in your curated social media feed. Influencers won’t snap selfies as they huff and puff their way up those never-ending staircases in the stations. They also won’t tell you that you might accidentally book a fifth-floor Airbnb in a building with no elevator. Let me just say: carrying groceries up five flights of stairs is a workout no one asked for.
And speaking of walking, keep in mind: the sidewalks can be crowded, especially in high-tourist zones. If you see a serene photo of an empty cobblestone street? Chances are the influencer got up at 6 a.m. on a Sunday or used some real life sorcery to clone-stamp out the crowds. And if you’re the type who wears sneakers for comfort, get ready for some side-eye from the chic locals who’ll be in boots or heels (looking like they’ve practiced runway moves since birth).
The Food: More Than Just Cute Cafés
When you think of Paris, you probably envision a charming café with wicker chairs lined up outside, each table topped with a tiny espresso cup and maybe a croissant. Well, guess what? That’s a real thing—but it’s only part of the story. Yes, you can sit down at a sidewalk café, sipping a cappuccino while elegantly nibbling on a pastry. But you’ll pay for it. Often, you’re paying just to sit there. You can usually stand at the counter inside and drink your coffee for almost half the price. But of course, who wants to do that if you’re trying to appear effortlessly fabulous on Instagram?
Also, let’s not forget the complexities of French dining culture. Dinner in Paris doesn’t start at 5 p.m.; restaurants typically open around 7 p.m. or later. If you’re starving at 6:30 p.m., you might need to pop into a bakery for a snack or wait it out at a bar. And not all cafés have cute Wi-Fi setups that are conducive to digital nomad life. Many times, they’re not thrilled if you set up shop with your laptop for six hours while sipping just one cup of coffee. Shocking, I know, but the French have their boundaries, and they stick to them.
Language Barrier Fun
Let’s get real about the language. Everyone will tell you that “most Parisians speak English.” But that doesn’t mean they want to speak English. If you try a few French words (and trust me, my accent was about as good as a rusty accordion), you’ll often get points for effort. On the flip side, if you just start speaking English right away, you risk an icy glare or a curt response.
Yes, you might be able to get by with Google Translate for basic interactions like ordering a croissant or checking in at your hotel. But if you’re living there for three months—especially working remotely—you’re going to need more than “bonjour” and “merci.” I learned that the hard way when my Wi-Fi suddenly died in my apartment. Attempting to explain modem problems in French was a comedic scene that probably belonged on SNL’s “Weekend Update.” Let’s just say my charades game got a lot stronger.
The Struggle of Digital Nomad Life in the City of Light
Everyone thinks working remotely in Paris is all about twirling around in a tulle skirt in front of the Eiffel Tower, laptop perched gracefully on your knees. Ha! If you’ve ever tried to join a Zoom call from a crowded café with questionable internet and background noise that sounds like an accordion competing with a Harley Davidson, you know the truth. And good luck finding a stable Wi-Fi connection in some older buildings.
Coworking spaces are a thing in Paris, but you’ll need to budget for them. They can be pricey, and you might discover that those stylish, modern spaces are often filled with super-hip French startup folks who actually want to focus on their jobs (rude, right?). They might not appreciate you munching on a baguette in the corner while giggling at memes.
The Dreaded “Paris Syndrome”
“Paris Syndrome” is a term sometimes used for folks who visit the city with unreasonably high expectations—only to come crashing down to reality. For tourists, it can manifest in confusion, disappointment, or even mild shock. For digital nomads, you might experience a parallel version: all those influencer photos promised cozy mornings with perfect cappuccinos and potted geraniums on your balcony, but instead, you’re stuck dealing with French bureaucracy and a landlord who never returns your calls.
Paris is gorgeous, yes, but it’s still a real city with real problems. You’ve got crowds, sometimes rude waiters (though not all waiters—some are really nice, trust me!), grime in the metro, and the occasional waft of questionable odors wafting up from the Seine in certain spots. If your mental image of Paris is based solely on filtered Instagram images, you might be in for a reality check.
Not All Croissants Are Created Equal
I know, you’re thinking, “But Tina, how can you slander croissants?” I’m not slandering them. I love them so much I could marry them if that were legal in any country. But I’m here to tell you the messy truth: not every croissant in Paris is the best thing you’ve ever tasted. Sure, the quality is generally better than your average pre-packaged American pastry, but there are differences from bakery to bakery. Some are downright life-changing, and others are a bit…meh.
Also, if you don’t time your bakery trip correctly, you’ll end up with croissants that aren’t fresh out of the oven. That’s basically sacrilege. The pictures you see on social media are always fresh, fluffy croissants, probably still glistening with a perfect golden sheen. If you walk into a random bakery at 5 p.m., you might get stale leftovers.
Rude or Reserved?
Here’s another secret the influencers won’t tell you: the French are not necessarily rude—they’re often just more private. And if they sense you’re going to treat them like Disney characters in a fairytale, they might put up some walls. Instagram influencers might focus on the oh-so-charming interactions with locals who greet them with a spirited “Bonjour, mademoiselle!” But day-to-day conversations can be more curt, direct, and less sugary sweet than in some other countries. It’s not personal; it’s just a cultural difference.
In the same breath, I have to say that once Parisians warm up to you, they can be incredibly kind and helpful. Don’t be surprised if the guy at the bakery starts giving you a free pastry after you’ve become a regular—especially if you attempt to order in French with a decent accent. Practice in front of the mirror at home!
Unexpected Moments of Beauty
Of course, it’s not all steep staircases and language disasters. There are these little, magical moments in Paris that can’t be captured by any Instagram filter. It’s the cozy nook of a street you stumble upon while being lost, the absolutely stunning sunrise you see when you have an early start, or the genuine conversation you strike up with a local who wants to know about your weird job as a digital nomad.
Paris can be enchanting in ways you’ll never see on the ’gram, and sometimes you have to learn to slow down, get off the main tourist track, and savor it. The city is more than a backdrop for your selfies—it’s a living, breathing place with its own quirks, rhythms, and yes, occasionally maddening realities.
Final Thoughts
Living in Paris for three months taught me that behind every perfectly filtered photo of a chic influencer sipping café au lait, there’s a real person dealing with everyday life in a foreign city. From the language barriers to the high cost of living, from the unpredictable Wi-Fi to the rude awakening that not every boulangerie is a golden palace of carbs—Paris is full of surprises.
But that’s the beauty of it. If you strip away the curated perfection and embrace the city for what it is—a stunning yet sometimes challenging place—you’ll find an experience that can’t be measured in Instagram likes. So, if you’re planning a Parisian adventure, please, pack comfortable shoes, brace yourself for daily cardio in the metro, and learn at least a few French phrases. And if you’re an influencer reading this? Maybe give your followers a little peek at the real side of Paris, too. After all, c’est la vie!
