Raising emotionally secure and happy children isn’t down to luck; it’s often the result of specific parenting habits.
These habits aren’t about controlling your child’s every move or shielding them from every possible harm.
It’s about providing a safe, loving environment where they can make their own choices and learn from their experiences.
According to psychology, there are seven key habits that parents who raise emotionally secure and happy children tend to practice.
If you’re curious to know what these are and how to incorporate them into your parenting style, keep reading.
1) Consistent love and care
If there’s one thing psychologists agree on, it’s the power of a parent’s love.
But it’s not just about showering your kids with affection; it’s about showing them consistent love and care.
This means being there for them emotionally, helping them navigate their feelings, and providing a safe space where they know they can express themselves.
Dr. John Bowlby, a famous psychologist known for his work on attachment theory, once said: “What cannot be communicated to the [mother] cannot be communicated to the self.” This highlights the importance of parents being emotionally available and responsive to their children’s needs.
This doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. It just means showing up for your kids, acknowledging their feelings, and letting them know they’re loved and valued.
It’s about giving them the tools to handle their emotions in a healthy way, which will contribute significantly to their emotional security and happiness.
2) Setting boundaries
One of the best things my parents did for me growing up was setting clear boundaries.
It wasn’t always fun at the time – I remember rolling my eyes more than once when I couldn’t go to a late-night party like some of my friends.
But now, looking back, I realize that those boundaries were an act of love. They weren’t about restricting my freedom, they were about teaching me respect – for myself, for others, and for the rules.
Famous child psychologist Dr. Benjamin Spock once said, “Respect children because they’re human beings and they deserve respect, and they’ll grow up to be better people.”
Setting clear boundaries with love and respect teaches children to value themselves and others, shaping them into well-rounded individuals.
3) Encouraging independence
Ever wondered why it feels so good when your child accomplishes something on their own?
It’s because you’re witnessing them step into their independence, which is a crucial part of their emotional development. It can be hard, of course, to step back and let your child make mistakes or struggle.
But this is how they learn resilience and problem-solving skills.
Psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.”
Encouraging independence in your child helps them learn how to adapt to different situations and manage change, which are critical skills for a happy life.
So, even when it’s tough, try to step back and let your child figure things out on their own. You might be surprised by what they can do.
4) Modeling positive behaviors
As parents, we’re the first role models our children have. And studies show that children learn more from what they see us do than from what we tell them.
One such study, conducted by researchers at the Washington State University, found that children who observed their parents expressing emotions in a healthy and positive manner were more likely to do the same.
They were also found to have better social skills and lower levels of psychological distress.
This means that if we want our children to be emotionally secure and happy, we need to model those behaviors ourselves. We need to show them how to express emotions healthily, how to treat others with kindness, and how to handle stress and adversity.
Remember, our children are always watching and learning from us. Let’s ensure they’re learning the right things.
5) Fostering a growth mindset
When I was growing up, my parents always encouraged me to see challenges as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles.
This instilled in me a growth mindset – the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed with effort and perseverance.
Famous psychologist Carol Dweck, who coined the term “growth mindset”, once said, “In a growth mindset, challenges are exciting rather than threatening. So rather than thinking, oh, I’m going to reveal my weaknesses, you say, wow, here’s a chance to grow.”
Fostering a growth mindset in your child can significantly contribute to their emotional security and happiness. It empowers them to embrace challenges, persevere in the face of setbacks, and see effort as a path to mastery. This not only equips them to handle life’s ups and downs but also helps them realize their potential.
6) Allowing room for failure
This may sound counterintuitive, but allowing your child to experience failure is actually beneficial for their emotional security and happiness.
As parents, our natural instinct is to protect our children from harm, including the disappointment and frustration that come with failure. However, failure is a powerful teacher.
Famous psychologist Albert Bandura once said, “In order to succeed, people need a sense of self-efficacy, to struggle together with resilience to meet the inevitable obstacles and inequities of life.”
Essentially, overcoming failure helps build resilience and self-efficacy, which are critical for emotional well-being.
By allowing room for failure, we’re teaching our children that it’s okay to make mistakes.
We’re helping them develop the resilience they need to bounce back from setbacks and the confidence to keep trying until they succeed.
7) Practicing empathy
Empathy goes a long way in raising emotionally secure and happy children.
It’s about understanding your child’s feelings and seeing things from their perspective. This not only makes them feel validated but also teaches them how to empathize with others.
Psychologist Daniel Goleman once said, “If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand… then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.” Empathy is one of those emotional abilities that can take your child far in life.
Practice empathy with your child and watch as they grow into emotionally secure and happy individuals.
Final thoughts
The journey of parenting is a beautiful and complex one, filled with joy, challenges, and profound moments of learning.
The seven habits we’ve discussed are not just principles to raise emotionally secure and happy children; they’re also an invitation to us as parents to evolve, learn, and grow alongside our children.
Whether it’s practicing consistent love and care, setting boundaries, encouraging independence, modeling positive behaviors, fostering a growth mindset, allowing room for failure, or practicing empathy – each habit offers a unique pathway to nurturing our children’s emotional well-being.
Remember, there’s no perfect way to parent. It’s about making conscious choices each day that align with these habits.
It’s about showing up for our children in ways that empower them to become secure, happy individuals.
As you reflect on these habits, consider how you can integrate them into your parenting style.
After all, the greatest gift we can give our children is not just our love but also the tools they need to navigate life confidently and happily.
