There’s a significant gap in the emotional education of those born in or around the 1950s.
Back then, you were often taught to keep your feelings to yourselves, to put on a brave face no matter what. The concept of emotional intelligence was not yet a thing.
However, there are seven particular feelings that can trip us up if you don’t learn how to handle them properly. And the truth is, many of you were never taught how to do so.
In this article, I’m going to shed some light on these emotions and offer some guidance on how to navigate them. Because it’s never too late to learn, even when it comes to our feelings.
1) Shame
Those of us born in or around the 1950s were often raised in an environment where feelings of shame were deeply ingrained.
Shame was used as a behavioral modifier, a way to push us towards what was deemed ‘right’ by societal norms. Yet, this emotion can be incredibly damaging if not addressed and managed properly.
Being made to feel shame about our actions, our choices, or our very existence can lead to a host of psychological issues, from anxiety and depression to self-loathing and even suicidal tendencies.
Understanding and navigating these feelings of shame isn’t easy. It’s a complex emotion, tied up with our self-worth and our perception of how we fit into the world. But it’s crucially important that we learn to deal with it in a healthy way.
2) Fear of failure
I remember a time when I was just starting out in my career. A promotion was up for grabs and I wanted it more than anything.
But, the fear of failure held me back. I started doubting my abilities and convinced myself that I wasn’t good enough to take on the new role.
This fear of failure is something born in or around the 1950s struggle with. You were raised in a time when success was often measured by your achievements, and failure was seen as a sign of weakness or incompetence.
This fear can be crippling, preventing us from taking risks and chasing our dreams. It can hold us back in our careers, our relationships, and our personal growth.
Learning how to cope with this fear isn’t easy. It takes time and self-reflection.
But once we understand that failure is not a reflection of our worth but rather a stepping stone towards success, we can start to dismantle this fear and live more courageously.
3) Unresolved grief
Grief is a universal experience, yet it’s one that many in or around the 1950s were never adequately prepared to handle.
We were often taught to keep our emotions in check, to put on a brave face and move on quickly from loss. This approach, however, can leave us with unresolved grief that lingers for years, even decades.
In Japan, there’s a practice known as “kotsuage,” where family members pick up the bones of their loved ones with chopsticks after cremation. It’s a tangible way of processing their grief and saying goodbye.
This is quite different from the stoic approach we’ve often been taught.
Understanding and processing grief is crucial for our emotional health. In this article, we will explore ways to deal with this complex emotion and move towards healing.
4) Loneliness
Born in or around the 1950s, you grew up in an era when socializing happened face-to-face, and your sense of community was strong.
With the advances of technology, the world has changed, and for some of us, it’s resulted in a profound feeling of loneliness.
You might see your children and grandchildren constantly connected to their devices, but for us, it can be hard to find that same sense of connection. Loneliness isn’t just about being alone; it’s about feeling disconnected from others.
Addressing and overcoming feelings of loneliness is critical for our mental and physical health. In this article, we will explore strategies to combat loneliness and find meaningful connections in our lives.
5) Fear of being a burden
As I’ve grown older, there’s one fear that’s started to creep in more and more – the fear of becoming a burden to my loved ones.
This fear stems from realizing that as we age, we may need to rely on others for support. It’s a difficult thought, especially for those of us who have prided ourselves on our independence and self-sufficiency.
This fear can lead to feelings of anxiety and depression, and can prevent us from seeking the help we need.
It’s important to tackle this fear head-on, to communicate openly with our loved ones, and to understand that needing help is not a sign of weakness but a part of life.
6) Regret
Regret is a feeling that can sneak up on us as we look back over our lives. We might regret choices we made or didn’t make, opportunities we missed, or relationships we let slip away.
Living with regret can be a heavy burden. It can keep us stuck in the past and prevent us from fully enjoying the present.
However, it’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes and takes wrong turns.
Rather than dwelling on our regrets, we can choose to learn from them and use them as stepping stones to growth and self-improvement.
7) Accepting change
Accepting change can be one of the hardest things to do.
We live in a rapidly evolving world, and it can feel like just when we’ve finally gotten a handle on things, everything changes again.
But here’s the thing: Change is inevitable. It’s a part of life. And while it can be uncomfortable and even scary, it’s also an opportunity for growth and new experiences.
Learning to accept and adapt to change is key to our emotional health and well-being. It allows us to move forward with resilience and optimism, even when faced with the unknown.
Final thoughts: Emotions are a journey, not a destination
Navigating our emotions can often feel like traversing an intricate maze. The twists and turns can be overwhelming, especially when we’ve never been given a map.
But here’s something important to remember: emotions aren’t something to be conquered or defeated. They’re a part of the human experience, as natural and necessary as breathing.
They’re universal, shared by all of us at some point or another.
And dealing with them? Well, it’s less about finding an escape route out of the maze and more about learning how to navigate it. It’s about understanding that every emotion we experience is an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.
Remember, it’s never too late to learn how to deal with our feelings. Because at the end of the day, our emotional health is just as important as our physical health.
And acknowledging that is the first step towards a healthier, happier life.
