We tend to think of resilience as this intangible superpower that only a select few possess.
But in reality, most of us build resilience through everyday challenges—and the bigger the challenge, the sturdier that resilience gets over time.
If you’ve lived through certain experiences by the time you’re 60, there’s a strong chance your mental resilience is off the charts.
I’ve always been fascinated by how people adapt, especially as they get older. Some find ways to navigate difficult situations with so much grace, it’s almost inspiring to watch.
Others get stuck, reliving pain or regret.
So, if you’re looking for a little insight into which life experiences truly test—and strengthen—us, stick around.
Let’s dive in.
1. You’ve faced a major heartbreak or loss
Everyone experiences heartbreak at some point, whether it’s the end of a relationship, the death of a loved one, or even the loss of a cherished friendship.
By the time we reach 60, we’ve likely confronted more than one of these painful scenarios.
But here’s the thing: heartbreak is not just about sorrow; it’s also about how we rise up.
I remember going through a particularly difficult breakup years ago.
My son was too young to fully understand, but old enough to sense that something was off. At the time, I felt like the rug had been pulled from under me.
Yet looking back, that period taught me empathy, self-awareness, and the value of setting boundaries.
When you’re forced to pick up the pieces of your life after deep emotional pain, you learn important skills—like self-compassion and problem-solving under stress—that remain with you.
2. You’ve overcome a career or financial setback
Have you ever lost a job you loved or found yourself in dire financial straits?
Maybe you started a business that flopped or found out your retirement fund wasn’t as secure as you thought.
If you’ve navigated a serious career or money-related crisis by 60, the grit you developed is something not everyone gets to cultivate.
I spent many years working in digital communications before I decided to shift gears and write full-time.
It wasn’t a smooth transition—I had to contend with self-doubt, an unstable income at first, and the nagging fear of failing.
But learning to adapt in the face of uncertainty taught me how to pivot quickly, manage stress, and focus on what I could control.
When you’ve pulled through a major financial or career crisis, you gain a priceless toolkit: budgeting skills, negotiation tactics, perseverance, and the ability to see beyond a temporary setback.
3. You’ve navigated a serious health challenge
Health scares—whether they’re your own or that of a loved one—can be among life’s most terrifying moments.
Hospital waiting rooms, rounds of tests, the uncertainty of “what if”… it all takes a toll mentally and emotionally.
By the time you reach 60, it’s not uncommon to have gone through at least one significant health event.
When my mother had a health crisis a few years back, I discovered the delicate balance between wanting to be strong for her while also tending to my own emotional needs. It was a difficult juggling act, especially as a single mom.
But what I took away from that experience was a deeper appreciation for the present moment and the power of community support.
Researchers at the American Psychological Association point out that resilience often stems from strong social ties and a sense of purpose—both of which can become even clearer when your health is on the line.
Managing a health crisis forces you to confront your priorities, reevaluate your lifestyle, and develop a level of emotional endurance that many people don’t tap into unless they’ve been through something similar.
4. You’ve had to rebuild your life or start over
Sometimes, life hands us a situation that requires a complete reset.
It could be relocating to a new city, leaving a toxic environment, or stepping away from a long-term relationship.
If you’ve experienced the “big reset” by 60, you’ve likely learned how to deal with the discomfort of uncertainty.
I once moved to a different neighborhood in London right when I was transitioning careers.
Even though it wasn’t a massive shift on paper, it felt like I was stepping into a completely different life.
Everything was new—the neighbors, the routine, the commute—and I had to build a fresh support system while juggling single motherhood and a budding writing career.
Starting over can be daunting, but it also nurtures adaptability.
You learn to cope without your usual safety nets and to remain calm in unfamiliar surroundings.
This is backed by experts like Helen Tupper and Sarah Ellis, authors of The Squiggly Career, who have noted that embracing change—and even actively seeking it—can lead to personal and professional growth.
If you’ve been there, you’ll know firsthand how this experience transforms trepidation into tenacity.
5. You’ve taken a stand for your values, even when it was tough
Have you ever found yourself in a moral dilemma where doing the right thing cost you friendships, comfort, or even money?
If you’ve made a difficult decision based on your core principles by the time you’re 60, you’ve likely developed a strong internal compass.
There was a time I had to turn down a project that clashed with my ethics.
It would have been lucrative, but it didn’t align with how I wanted to present myself in my writing.
Walking away wasn’t easy—especially since I was trying to establish my writing career and needed a steady income.
But the clarity I gained about my own moral backbone was worth more than any quick paycheck.
Choosing principles over convenience is a surefire way to build self-respect, and self-respect underpins mental resilience.
6. You’ve learned to embrace solitude rather than fear it
Solitude often gets a bad rep, especially in our hyper-connected world. But true resilience shines when you can find peace in your own company.
By the time we’re 60, many of us have experienced solitude—maybe through the loss of a partner, grown children moving out, or simply by choosing to spend time alone for self-reflection.
I used to dread the quiet moments after I tucked my son into bed. It felt lonely and eerie.
Over time, though, I realized that solitude could be my greatest ally.
I began journaling, meditating, and even discovering new hobbies.
Those moments of alone-time shifted from “scary and isolating” to “nourishing and empowering.”
Spending quality time with yourself helps you cultivate emotional independence, an essential trait for resilience.
It also gives you a clearer perspective on your aspirations, fears, and hidden strengths.
Solitude allows the mind to rest and recharge, building a buffer against stress.
7. You’ve learned to forgive yourself (and others)
Last but definitely not least, the ability to truly forgive—both yourself and those who have wronged you—is a hallmark of emotional maturity and strength.
We often talk about forgiveness as if it’s something we do for other people, but in reality, letting go of resentment is one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself.
Forgiving my own mistakes has never been easy.
Whether it was a work misstep that cost me a client or a misunderstanding with a friend, I used to hold onto guilt far longer than necessary.
Over the years, I realized that blame and self-criticism were only draining my energy and preventing me from moving forward.
Once I embraced the idea that nobody is perfect—including me—I found peace and a renewed sense of possibility.
Forgiveness is liberating. It’s a mental shift from dwelling on the past to focusing on growth and improvement.
According to studies, practicing forgiveness is linked to lower stress levels and better mental health outcomes.
When you choose to forgive, you prove to yourself that you can process pain, integrate the lesson, and then create space for future happiness. That’s resilience at its finest.
Wrapping up
By the time you hit 60, there’s a high chance you’ve tackled multiple challenges, each one pushing you to grow in ways you never imagined.
Whether you’ve recovered from a devastating heartbreak, rebuilt your life after a financial blow, or learned to find peace within yourself, these experiences shape you into someone who can handle life’s storms with a steady hand.
Resilience isn’t about never feeling pain or fear—it’s about how you manage those emotions and use them to bounce back.
Every difficulty you’ve conquered has laid another layer of mental fortitude, making you stronger and more prepared for whatever lies ahead.
If you recognize yourself in any of the seven experiences above, take a moment to honor that journey. And if you’re still working through some of these challenges, trust that each step forward—no matter how small—strengthens your resolve.
