There’s a thin line between genuine like and simple pretense.
It often boils down to reading body language.
Pretending to like someone often involves concealing true feelings—but the body, well, it rarely lies.
According to psychologists, there are specific body language signs that reveal when someone is just putting on a show.
Being aware of these signs can save you from a lot of unwanted drama.
Here are seven specific body language cues that signal someone is only pretending to like you—get ready to become a human lie detector!
1) Too much eye contact
Anyone who’s had a conversation knows about the importance of eye contact, but here’s the thing: There’s a difference between engaging eye contact and over-the-top, too-much-eye-contact.
According to psychologists, people pretending to like you might maintain excessive eye contact.
It’s as if they’re trying too hard to prove their interest, and in the process, they end up overshooting the mark.
If someone’s cutting you an intense, lingering look more often than seems natural, take note: It could be a sign they’re only pretending to like you.
Do keep in mind that context is crucial, though—it’s not just about the eye contact but about how it fits in with the rest of their body language.
2) Absence of genuine smiles
Smiles can be deceptive.
I remember meeting someone at a party once: They smiled every time we spoke, but something about those smiles seemed off.
According to psychologists, genuine smiles—the ones that indicate true happiness or affection—involve the entire face.
It’s not just about the mouth but also the eyes which crinkle at the corners when someone is genuinely happy to see you.
This is known as a Duchenne Smile.
The person at the party? Their mouth smiled, but their eyes stayed the same.
It was a classic non-Duchenne smile, a sign they were only pretending to like me.
Next time, pay close attention to those smiles—if the eyes aren’t involved, you might want to question their sincerity.
3) Lack of mirroring
Ever noticed how close friends often mirror each other’s body language?
They’ll unconsciously mimic each other’s gestures, postures, and even speech patterns.
It’s a sign of rapport, of genuine connection, but what happens when this mirroring is missing?
Psychologists suggest that a lack of mirroring could indicate that someone is pretending to like you.
Sure, it’s not definitive proof—some people naturally mirror less than others.
When it’s coupled with other signs on this list, you might have a pretender on your hands.
In his research on body language, famous psychologist Dr. Albert Mehrabian found that nonverbal behavior speaks louder than words.
If someone’s body language doesn’t match up with their words, it could be a sign they’re not as fond of you as they claim to be.
Keep an eye out for mirroring—or the lack of it.
It could tell you a lot more about someone’s feelings towards you than their words ever could.
4) Closed body language
Body language is like an open book, revealing what words often try to hide.
One form of body language that’s particularly telling is whether someone’s posture is open or closed.
Psychologists suggest that closed body language—like crossed arms, hunched shoulders, or turned away bodies—might indicate that someone is only pretending to like you.
It’s as if their body is subconsciously trying to create a barrier between you and them.
Open body language, such as expansive postures and uncrossed limbs, are associated with feelings of warmth and trust.
Conversely, closed body language can signal discomfort and disinterest.
If you’re noticing a pattern of closed body language, it might be a sign that their fondness isn’t as genuine as they make it out to be.
5) Minimal physical contact
Physical contact is a universal sign of affection.
A pat on the back, a friendly hug, a reassuring touch on the arm—these are ways we express fondness and connection—but what if someone keeps their distance?
In my experience, people who genuinely like you aren’t afraid to bridge that physical gap.
However, if someone is pretending to like you, they might avoid physical contact altogether.
Famous psychologist Dr. Abraham Maslow once said, “We fear to know the fearsome and unsavory aspects of ourselves, but we fear even more to know the godlike in ourselves.”
Sometimes, our reluctance to get close to others can reveal our true feelings.
6) Overly positive affirmations
This might seem counterintuitive, but sometimes, too much positivity can be a red flag.
If someone is constantly showering you with compliments, it might feel good initially, but it could also be a sign that they’re trying too hard to convince you – and themselves – of their affection.
Renowned psychologist Carl Jung once said, “The pendulum of the mind alternates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong.”
Sometimes, people overcompensate for their lack of genuine feelings with excessive affirmation.
The next time someone seems overly positive towards you, take a step back and evaluate.
It might be genuine admiration, or it could be a sign they’re only pretending to like you.
7) Frequent interruptions
If someone is often interrupting you, it might be a sign they’re pretending to like you.
Genuine interest usually comes with patience and the desire to listen.
If someone’s frequently cutting you off or not giving you the space to express, it could be a sign their interest isn’t as genuine as it seems.
Final thoughts
Navigating the labyrinth of human interactions can be complex, especially when it comes to deciphering true feelings from pretense.
Understanding these seven specific body language signs is like having a compass in this labyrinth.
It won’t make the journey effortless, but it can definitely make it less daunting.
Remember, these signs are not definitive proof.
They’re indicators, tools you can use to better understand the people around you.
So the next time you’re questioning if someone genuinely likes you or is merely putting on an act, remember this guide.
Observe their body language, listen to their unspoken words, and trust your intuition.
After all, understanding others starts with understanding ourselves.
And every step we take in this journey of comprehension brings us closer to authentic connections and meaningful relationships.
