When I hit 30, I had a mix of excitement and dread, wondering if I’d done enough or if I was “behind” compared to everyone else.
Sound familiar?
Society sometimes makes us feel like we should have it all figured out by this age: the dream job, the solid relationship, the “perfect” life plan.
However, real growth often looks less like a checklist and more like small—but crucial—shifts in mindset.
Below are six signs that you’ve actually come a long way. If you’ve hit even a handful of these by 30, trust me: you’re doing better than you think.
1. You’ve learned how to set and maintain boundaries
Growing up, I used to say “yes” to everything—favors, last-minute plans, or even relationships that drained my energy.
I hated the idea of disappointing anyone.
But there came a point when I realized my schedule (and my heart) was so crowded, there was no space left for what truly mattered to me.
One quote that really inspired me was “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others” by Brené Brown.
If you’re around 30 and you’ve mastered—or at least made real progress in—setting healthy boundaries, you’re ahead of the game.
That might mean telling a friend you need a quiet weekend alone, saying no to a boss who piles on extra tasks without acknowledgment, or refusing to let guilt steer your decisions.
Boundaries protect your mental and emotional resources. They allow you to show up as a more authentic version of yourself in every area of life.
2. You know how to invest in relationships that uplift you
When I was in my early 20s, I clung to groups that I “inherited” from school or random jobs, even if we had little in common anymore.
It’s not that I didn’t value those people—it’s just that at some point, our paths diverged. We weren’t bringing out the best in one another.
It wasn’t until my mid-thirties that I learned the difference between a friendship that’s grown over time and one that’s simply grown stale. The people you choose to keep around should energize you, support you, and challenge you in a loving way.
Have you cultivated a supportive circle of friends, mentors, or loved ones? Good for you—you’re already doing something most people take decades to figure out.
3. You’re taking steps to manage your finances responsibly
So here’s a practical one.
Money can be a tricky topic. Some of us grew up with parents who openly discussed budgets, while others of us had to learn the hard way—often through overdraft fees and maxed-out credit cards.
However, financial well-being is a huge part of overall stability.
You don’t need to be a millionaire or own a house. But if you’ve started making thoughtful choices—like shopping within your means, understanding interest rates, or setting up an emergency fund—you’re ahead of the curve.
4. You’ve started breaking free from limiting beliefs
It’s easy to get stuck in the loop of old stories about who you “should” be, right?
I know it was for me, at least. For a long time, I held on to the idea that I couldn’t change certain aspects of my life—that I just wasn’t that kind of person.
A few years back, I felt particularly weighed down by self-doubt. My brain was filled with thoughts like “I’ll never reach my career goals” or “I’m just not good at relationships.”
That’s when a friend recommended Rudá Iandê’s Free Your Mind masterclass. To be honest, I signed up to satisfy that friend, not expecting huge changes from a free course.
But something about the approach—particularly the way Rudá showed how our own mindsets limit our potential—opened my eyes. The exercises were practical but also deeply introspective. They forced me to examine the stories I’d been telling myself for years.
Afterward, I felt a genuine mental shift: I started believing that maybe I did have the power to shape my life more than I realized.
Anyway, if you’re also challenging your beliefs and trusting that you can grow, you’re definitely in a better position than you might think.
5. You’ve become more flexible in handling setbacks
Look, life happens. We all have rough patches, from heartbreak and job loss to unexpected twists that derail the best-laid plans.
A key sign that you’re doing well by 30 is your ability to bend instead of break when challenges come your way.
I remember the time I really bombed at a job interview I wanted more than anything. I left that office convinced I was a failure, replaying every awkward moment in my head.
But I eventually realized that a setback doesn’t define me unless I let it. Instead of giving up, I used it as motivation to sharpen my interview skills.
That emotional elasticity—being able to bounce back more swiftly each time—signals real growth.
6. You have a vision for your future (but you’re open to change)
Have you ever felt pressured to have every detail of your future mapped out?
Society often pushes the idea that by 30, life should follow a clear, linear path. But real growth comes from balancing direction with flexibility.
Having a vision means knowing what excites and fulfills you—whether in your career, relationships, or personal development. It’s about setting goals that align with your values, not just external expectations.
At the same time, being open to change allows for unexpected opportunities and growth. The ability to pivot, adapt, and evolve is just as important as having a plan in the first place.
Recognizing that success isn’t always a straight line but a series of intentional steps and adjustments puts you ahead of many who feel stuck chasing rigid expectations.
Conclusion
Getting older doesn’t have to be this ominous countdown to what you “should” have achieved. It can be a time of reflection, appreciation, and newfound clarity.
If you’ve reached these milestones—or are even in the process of working on them—give yourself some credit. You’ve laid a solid foundation that many people spend decades trying to build.
