Picture this:
You’re jolted out of a quiet moment by your phone buzzing. Instead of a feeling of excitement or curiosity, you feel that familiar, uncomfortable lurch of anxiety.
If you can relate, you’re not alone.
It turns out that a majority of Gen Z now avoids phone calls and often lets them go to voicemail — if they even have voicemail set up at all.
What’s going on here?
In today’s post, I want to explore why so many younger folks feel this way about a simple ring — and how to manage this so-called “ringxiety” before it becomes an even bigger hurdle to everyday communication.
The modern fear of voice calls
I’ve heard plenty of friends say that a phone call feels like a major interruption or that it sets off nerves. It may sound odd to older generations who remember the days when calling someone was the only way to get in touch — well, that and writing a letter.
But times change.
A recent report by The Boar found that 70% of 18-to-34-year-olds would rather text than talk, and 23% admit they literally never answer incoming calls.
A quarter of Gen Z have “never answered” their phones, according to The Times, and more than half assume an unexpected ring means something terrible happened.
That fear is evidently so widespread that a UK college just launched a “telephobia” course after a survey showed 61% of Gen Zers dodge calls because they’re panicked about saying the wrong thing live.
If you think about it, calling used to be standard.
Now, if my phone rings out of the blue, I might ignore it unless I know who’s calling and precisely why. It’s a big shift — and it’s fueled by changes not only in technology but also in how we approach communication and social interactions.
A generation shaped by technology
Gen Z grew up in an era dominated by texts, group chats, direct messages, and social media. Phone calls weren’t necessarily the default; they were just one of many tools in a vast communication toolbox.
When you have the option to type your thoughts, edit them, throw in an emoji or two for tone, and then send, it can feel jarring to switch gears and engage in a live conversation.
A Newsweek piece highlights that only 16% of Gen Z think phone calls are “a good use of time,” with psychologists blaming the lack of visual cues and the fear of being caught off-guard. It’s a generation that’s grown accustomed to controlling the narrative, whether through well-crafted Instagram captions or precisely worded texts.
Unexpected phone rings remove that sense of control and demand an immediate, unfiltered response.
Interestingly, younger users are oddly comfortable video-calling — even strangers in public. That could be because there’s a video feed, a mute button, and often a group vibe.
But they may still dread a plain voice call because, as one quote there puts it, “you can’t read the room or hit mute.”
There’s no quick fix if you stumble over your words or if your tone comes across differently than intended.
The real reasons behind “ringxiety”
So why does a simple ring trigger so much unease for so many?
I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s rooted in human psychology more than anything else.
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Lack of visual cues: During a phone call, you can’t see someone’s facial expressions. That leaves you guessing how the other person is reacting. If there’s silence, does it mean they’re judging you? Or did they just set the phone down to take a sip of coffee? Without those visual signals, many people automatically assume the worst.
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Real-time pressure: Gen Zers say phone calls feel like emergencies — especially unexpected ones. You can’t edit yourself, there’s no “emoji safety net,” and an awkward pause feels amplified.
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Notification overload: Constant pings, beeps, and vibrations can crank up anyone’s heart rate. An Aussie psychologist told The Daily Telegraph that a “notification detox” is his go-to fix: switching off nonessential notifications can dramatically reduce phone-related anxiety.
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Phantom ringing: Medical researchers discovered that the majority of students experience “phantom ringing” (i.e., thinking their phone is ringing when it’s silent), and they tied this sensation to high smartphone addiction scores. That speaks to how deeply ingrained the phone can be in our brains.
There’s a lot of talk about “instant gratification” these days, but ironically, phone calls offer zero time to think or prepare.
That might work fine for a quick catch-up with a close friend, but it’s not so pleasant if you’re anxious, preoccupied, or just prefer the mental clarity that comes from drafting a text.
Taming the anxiety
If you’re someone who’d prefer to do anything but pick up a ringing phone, you might ask: “Is this a big deal?”
In some cases, it isn’t.
We all have our favored ways to communicate, and forcing yourself to make or take calls 24/7 might not be healthy either.
However, completely shutting down your ability to handle a normal phone conversation can create real problems — like missing job opportunities, important family news, or that last-minute invite to a gathering.
1. Reframe the ring
Instead of jumping to worst-case scenarios — like “They must have bad news!” — pause to consider neutral or even positive reasons someone might be calling.
Does your friend want to share exciting news?
Is your colleague hoping to clear up a project question quickly instead of slogging through an email chain?
Shifting your mindset from “this is going to be bad” to “maybe they want to connect or share something interesting” can dial down the dread.
2. Practice with safe contacts
One personal trick I use is scheduling a call with someone I’m comfortable with — like a cousin or a close friend — and letting them know I’m trying to get better at on-the-fly conversations.
Nobody said you have to jump straight into picking up every unknown number that comes your way.
Little by little, you’ll build confidence.
3. Set boundaries around notifications
If the mere sight of your phone’s notification bar makes your heart skip a beat, consider turning off needless alerts or using “Do Not Disturb” for a while.
You can still keep calls active from specific people if you’re worried you’ll miss an emergency. Think of it as cleaning up your mental environment.
After a week or two, you might notice you’re calmer overall.
4. Keep calls short and sweet
If your job or personal life requires calls, try setting a mental (or actual) timer.
For instance, tell yourself, “I’ll give this five minutes, get the main points across, and follow up via text if needed.”
The more you plan, the less you risk rambling or feeling unprepared.
5. Use bridging strategies
One of my friends in the digital marketing world (where calls sometimes happen out of nowhere) told me he’ll shoot a quick text first: “Hey, do you have five minutes for a quick call?”
This heads-up can soften the blow of a sudden ring — both for the caller and the callee.
It’s not always possible, but it can be a game-changer if you share your fear of abrupt calls with the people who contact you often.
Finding balance in a hyperconnected world
You may be wondering, “Is it really that big of a deal to just hate phone calls?” The truth is, there’s no right or wrong preference when it comes to communication style.
But as calls go increasingly out of style for younger users, it’s worth examining whether avoiding them entirely could cost you in the long run.
Some employers may value quick phone check-ins, some clients in the freelance world (where I used to be) may demand regular status updates via calls, and certain friends or family members just communicate best by speaking in real time.
A certain level of phone avoidance might be normal these days, but all-out telephobia can lead to missed opportunities.
College courses on “phone fear” might sound outlandish, but they show that institutions are recognizing how phone anxiety impacts everything from job interviews to building interpersonal skills.
If you’re finding that ringxiety affects your everyday life, trying out even one or two of the suggestions above might ease the tension.
Ultimately, phone calls are just one tool in the communication toolbox.
If you can remain flexible, you’re more equipped to handle a world that shifts between Slack channels, phone calls, voice notes, and everything in between. In a pinch, you’ll be able to pick up or make that call without feeling like you’ve stepped into a haunted house.
And the next time your phone rings?
Maybe take a deep breath and ask yourself: “What if this isn’t so bad after all?”
A little curiosity could turn that sense of dread into a chance to connect, human to human, no filters or emojis needed.
