Have you ever met someone who’s not just single but genuinely content?
No eye rolls when they talk about their relationship status, no secret longing for a partner, and absolutely no sense of missing out. It’s refreshing, isn’t it?
We live in a culture that often equates happiness with being in a romantic relationship, so when we see individuals who are single and at total peace, it can feel like a paradox.
But trust me, it’s entirely possible. In my work as a relationship counselor, I’ve come across many people who embody this tranquility.
They’re not forcing themselves to be content; they genuinely are.
And in observing how they move through the world, I’ve noticed they do a handful of things in a very distinctive way.
Below are seven practices I’ve noticed they consistently have in common—seven things they do differently that make their single lives less a phase to “get over” and more a fulfilling journey in its own right.
1. They celebrate their own wins (big or small)
Author and speaker Robert Holden once said, “No amount of self-improvement can make up for any lack of self-acceptance.”
I’ve found this principle rings especially true for singles who are at peace with themselves.
Instead of waiting for someone else to applaud their accomplishments, they’ve mastered the art of not just self-acceptance, but self-celebration.
That could mean taking themselves out for dinner after a tough work project wraps, proudly announcing an exciting career milestone in a group chat, or simply practicing gratitude at the end of each day.
I’ve worked with clients who used to feel guilty over congratulating themselves—like it was somehow narcissistic.
But there’s a difference between healthy self-appreciation and arrogance.
When you’re comfortable being single, it becomes second nature to give yourself a pat on the back without worrying about who’s watching.
You don’t need an external cheerleader because you’ve become your own biggest fan.
2. They choose to connect rather than cling
Have you ever been in a situation where you feel the urge to hold onto someone (friend, partner, or even colleague) for fear they might slip away?
If so, you might be familiar with that frantic, needy feeling that can quickly become suffocating.
People who are genuinely at ease in their single status don’t cling; they connect.
They build meaningful relationships but remain confident enough to let them evolve or even drift apart when necessary.
When you’re fully at peace with yourself, you welcome people into your life but don’t grip them tightly out of insecurity.
3. They guard their space (and it’s non-negotiable)
I’ve seen some singles, in their quest to not appear lonely, invite anyone and everyone into their personal world.
They end up with friendships or acquaintanceships that drain them.
In contrast, the singles who flourish tend to guard their space fiercely.
Their weekends aren’t filled with random events just to avoid being alone; instead, they focus on quality.
They understand that time is precious and that solitude, when chosen, can be deeply rejuvenating.
If you’re single and genuinely at peace, you probably know this already: saying “no” to people or events that disrupt your calm is an act of self-care.
4. They let go of the “save me” narrative
We’ve all heard the fairy-tale trope: one day, somebody will show up to save us from our loneliness, our dead-end job, or our boring weekend routine.
But in real life, that’s rarely how it goes down.
Singles who’ve found peace have realized that waiting for someone else to bring them happiness is a surefire recipe for disappointment.
Instead, they’re busy creating their own sense of fulfillment, whether through hobbies, careers, traveling, or community involvement.
That’s a mindset shift I talk about in my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.
Although the title suggests it’s for people already in relationships, one of the core lessons applies to singles, too: you are responsible for your own emotional well-being.
Nobody else can or should swoop in to fix your life. When you embrace that idea, singlehood becomes less about waiting and more about living wholeheartedly in the present.
5. They treat their personal goals as top priority
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life,” Steve Jobs famously advised.
In my experience, those who are single and loving it often take this advice to heart.
They have personal goals—like finishing a degree, starting a small business, traveling to five new countries, or mastering a new language—and they pursue those goals relentlessly.
There’s no “I’ll just wait until I find someone to do this with.” They dive right in, whether or not they have a plus-one for the ride.
I recall working with a client who dreamed of backpacking through Southeast Asia. She kept putting it off, thinking she’d be more comfortable going with a partner.
Then, one day, she decided to stop waiting.
Off she went on a three-month solo adventure. The stories she brought back were life-changing: new friendships, a newfound sense of independence, and an invigorated perspective on what she wanted from life.
People at peace with their single status do exactly that—they chase after what lights them up, not letting the absence of a romantic partner hold them back.
6. They embrace vulnerability in friendships
Instead of thinking romantic relationships are the only place for deep emotional sharing, people who are blissfully single aren’t afraid to let their guard down with friends or even family.
They’re the ones calling up a close friend to process a bad day or journaling and then sharing insights with someone they trust.
I used to think vulnerability only mattered in romantic contexts—like, if you’re not dating, why bother opening up too much?
However, seeing how my clients heal and flourish has taught me that vulnerability is essential in all relationships.
Being single doesn’t mean being emotionally isolated. It can be the perfect stage of life to invest wholeheartedly in friendships.
When you find comfort in sharing life’s ups and downs with people who genuinely care, you realize romance is only one form of emotional intimacy among many.
7. They plan for the future (with or without a partner)
Last but definitely not least, contented singles make plans without pinning all their hopes on eventually “having someone else.”
They might consider the possibility of being in a relationship one day—maybe they even desire it—but they don’t put their life on pause until it happens.
They plan for retirement, invest in property, or set up a cozy apartment that reflects their personality.
They don’t fall into the trap of “this is temporary until I meet my person.”
I remember one conversation with a client who said, “I was going to wait until I had a husband to buy a house. But then I thought, Why wait?”
She found a lovely little home in a neighborhood she adored, and she’s been thriving there ever since.
That’s the beauty of being single and at peace: your future isn’t on hold, and your happiness isn’t contingent on someone else’s timeline.
Final thoughts
Being single and genuinely happy isn’t a mystical achievement reserved for a lucky few.
It’s often the result of deliberate choices—like prioritizing your goals, respecting your personal space, connecting instead of clinging, and letting go of that outdated “save me” narrative.
It’s also about embracing vulnerability with the people in your life so that meaningful relationships aren’t solely tied to romantic love.
Whether you’re single by choice, by circumstance, or a bit of both, remember that inner peace doesn’t come from the outside.
It’s an inside job—one that involves self-awareness, self-compassion, and a healthy dose of self-celebration.
At the end of the day, love begins with how you treat yourself.
If you’re practicing any of the habits mentioned above, you’re well on your way to making singlehood not just okay, but a season of growth, clarity, and fulfillment.
Enjoy it, and who knows—your radiant sense of peace might just become the very thing that draws people into your life who truly respect and value you.
