Life is a journey filled with experiences, some of which we eagerly share, while others we’d rather keep to ourselves.
According to psychology, there are certain life experiences that are better kept private.
It’s about understanding that not everything needs to be shared, for our own mental health and the health of our relationships.
In this article, we’ll dive into seven life experiences you should always keep to yourself.
Don’t worry, it’s not about hiding your past, it’s about protecting your future:
1) Past mistakes
We all have a history dotted with mistakes—it’s part of being human.
But often, we feel compelled to share these past errors in judgement, either as cautionary tales or as a way of explaining our current behavior.
Here’s the thing though – psychology suggests that constantly bringing up past mistakes can actually do more harm than good.
Renowned psychologist, Dr. Carl Jung, once said, “We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.”
In other words, constantly revisiting our past mistakes can keep us trapped in them, preventing us from moving forward.
Dwelling on past mistakes doesn’t just affect us on an individual level.
When shared with others, these experiences can color their perception of us and potentially strain relationships.
The next time you’re tempted to bring up that one time you messed up years ago—think twice.
It might just be one of those life experiences better kept to yourself.
2) Family conflicts
We all have our fair share of family drama.
For me, I’ve been through some pretty rough patches with my siblings—disagreements that have lasted weeks, even months.
But over time, I’ve learned that these personal conflicts are best kept within the family.
In essence, we all have our quirks and issues, especially when it comes to family.
Sharing these conflicts outside the family circle doesn’t solve them.
Instead, it often leads to unnecessary drama and misunderstood situations.
Plus, it invites others to form opinions about your family members based on your side of the story alone – which is rarely the complete picture.
Even though it might feel good to vent about a heated argument with your brother or a misunderstanding with your mom, it’s usually best to keep these experiences to yourself.
3) Personal fears and insecurities
Have you ever felt the need to share your deepest fears and insecurities with others? It might feel freeing in the moment, but psychology suggests it’s not always the best idea.
Dr. Abraham Maslow, known for creating Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, once said, “In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety.”
Sharing our insecurities can sometimes feel like stepping forward, but it can also hold us back.
Opening up about our fears and insecurities can make us vulnerable to criticism and judgment.
While it’s important to be honest with those we trust, sharing these personal feelings with just anyone can lead to more harm than good.
It’s okay to have insecurities—we all do—but it’s also okay to keep them to ourselves.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for who you are or why you are the way you are.
4) Financial struggles
Money is a touchy subject for many people, and for good reason.
Financial struggles can be deeply personal, affecting our self-esteem and overall well-being.
Coincidentally, 72% of Americans reported feeling stressed about money at least some of their time.
This stress can be compounded when we share our financial struggles with others, potentially leading to feelings of embarrassment or inadequacy.
While it’s important to seek advice from trusted financial advisors or loved ones when needed, regularly broadcasting your financial woes can invite judgment and unwanted advice.
The next time you’re facing a tough financial situation, remember it’s okay to keep it to yourself.
You’re not alone in your struggles, and there’s no shame in working through them privately.
5) Relationship issues
In every relationship, whether it’s a romantic one or a friendship, issues and disagreements are bound to come up.
When they do, it might be tempting to vent to others.
I’ve been there myself, seeking validation from friends during a rough patch with my partner.
But I’ve learned over time that this isn’t always the best approach; dealing with issues internally and directly with the person involved is more beneficial than airing your grievances to others.
Sharing your relationship issues can lead to others forming judgments, often based on one-sided perspectives.
It can also violate the trust of your partner or friend.
6) Personal achievements
This one might come as a surprise.
After all, shouldn’t we celebrate our victories? Yes, but with a caveat.
While it’s great to share your accomplishments with those who genuinely care and support you, constantly broadcasting your successes can sometimes lead to unintended negative consequences.
Psychologist and author Dr. Susan David once said, “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.”
This quote reminds us that success isn’t just about the victories, but also about the struggles we overcome along the way.
Flaunting your achievements can sometimes come across as bragging, which can push people away rather than draw them in.
It also invites comparison, which can fuel feelings of inadequacy in others.
The next time you achieve something great, by all means, celebrate it—but remember to do so with humility and grace.
7) Future plans
It’s natural to want to share your future dreams and plans with others, but sometimes it’s best to keep them to yourself.
Our actions speak louder than our words—constantly talking about your future plans can lead to a pressure to live up to others’ expectations.
Focus on the actions needed to achieve your dreams rather than just talking about them.
It might just make the journey towards your goals a little bit easier.
Final reflections
Navigating the delicate balance of sharing and withholding can be challenging.
Life experiences, after all, shape us and often, sharing them can bring us closer to those around us—but, as we’ve explored in this article, there are certain experiences that might be better kept to ourselves.
Not out of shame or secrecy, but out of a desire to protect our mental health and relationships.
Whether it’s a past mistake, a family conflict, a personal insecurity, a financial struggle, a relationship issue, a personal achievement, or even our future plans—sometimes, silence can be golden.
Remember, though, this is about understanding when sharing enriches our lives and when it doesn’t.
Every person is unique and every situation is different.
Use these guidelines as just that—guides, not hard and fast rules.
Stay true to yourself and remember that in the end, you’re the best judge of what to share and what to keep to yourself.
