- Tension: In relationships, individuals often sense inconsistencies or discomfort but struggle to identify the underlying causes, leading to confusion and self-doubt.
- Noise: The prevailing belief is that dishonesty is always overt and easily recognizable, causing people to overlook subtle behaviors that indicate a lack of integrity.
- Direct Message: Recognizing nuanced behaviors—such as avoiding eye contact, being vague about personal history, frequently changing stories, deflecting when confronted, lacking genuine remorse, breaking promises, gaslighting, and showing little empathy—can provide clarity and empower individuals to make informed decisions about their relationships.
This article follows the Direct Message methodology, designed to cut through the noise and reveal the deeper truths behind the stories we live.
Navigating the world of relationships can often feel like walking through a minefield blindfolded. One wrong step and it all blows up. One way to avoid these disasters? Spotting the signs of dishonesty and untrustworthiness.
We’ve all encountered men who, beneath their charming exterior, hide a less-than-honest disposition. Recognizing these men and their subtle behaviors can save us a lot of heartache.
I’m going to share with you eight subtle behaviors that men who are neither honest nor trustworthy usually display. Brace yourselves; some of these might hit a little close to home.
1) They avoid eye contact
This may seem cliché, but it’s a cliché for a reason. Most of us have been taught that eye contact is a sign of honesty and trustworthiness. It’s a way of showing that we have nothing to hide.
But men who are neither honest nor trustworthy often struggle with maintaining eye contact. They might glance to the side, look down or simply stare blankly past you.
It’s like they’re physically trying to avoid the truth, and their eyes give them away.
Now, this isn’t to say that everyone who avoids eye contact is dishonest. Sometimes it can be due to shyness or social anxiety. But when coupled with other behaviors on this list, it can be a red flag.
Remember though, it’s important not to jump to conclusions based on this trait alone. It’s merely one piece of the puzzle.
2) They’re vague about their past
We all have a past, right? And while some chapters might be more challenging to talk about than others, most of us are pretty open when it comes to discussing our personal history.
But I once knew a guy who was always incredibly vague about his past. It didn’t matter if we were talking about his childhood, past relationships, or previous jobs, he always managed to steer the conversation elsewhere.
At first, I chalked it up to him being a private person. But as time went on, I realized it was more than that. It felt like he was hiding something.
Later on, I discovered that he had a history of dishonesty and betrayals in his previous relationships. His vagueness was a subtle behavior indicating his lack of honesty and trustworthiness.
Being vague about the past doesn’t automatically make someone dishonest. But when combined with other signs on this list, it can be a clear indicator of someone who is neither honest nor trustworthy.
3) They change their story often
It’s human nature to forget minor details or mix up the sequence of events when recounting a story. But when the main elements keep changing, it’s a definite red flag.
Men who are neither honest nor trustworthy have a tendency to alter their stories, especially when they’re trying to cover up a lie. They may change the timeline, the people involved, or even the outcome.
Interestingly, research has shown that liars find it harder to keep their stories consistent over time. The cognitive load of remembering the false version of events often leads to discrepancies.
So if you notice someone’s story changing each time they tell it, tread carefully. It could be a sign that they are not being entirely honest with you.
4) They deflect when confronted
A common trait I’ve noticed among men who are neither honest nor trustworthy is their tendency to deflect when confronted. Instead of addressing the issue at hand, they might change the subject, turn the blame onto you, or minimize the situation.
For example, if you bring up a concern about something they’ve said or done, instead of discussing it openly, they might retort with something like “Why are you always so suspicious?” or “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
This deflection is a way for them to avoid taking responsibility and to keep you second-guessing yourself. It’s a subtle but effective tactic that often leaves you feeling confused and questioning your instincts. Always trust your gut. It’s there to protect you.
5) They rarely express genuine remorse
We all make mistakes. That’s simply part of being human. But when we do, most of us feel a genuine sense of remorse and make an effort to right our wrongs.
However, men who are neither honest nor trustworthy often struggle with this concept. They may apologize, but it often lacks sincerity, and they rarely make a genuine effort to change their behavior.
I’ve seen this firsthand in relationships around me. Friends who’ve been hurt by men who apologize without showing any real remorse for their actions. It’s heartbreaking to see the damage this can cause.
It’s important to remember that true remorse involves more than just saying “I’m sorry.” It requires acknowledging the mistake, understanding its impact, and making a conscious effort to avoid repeating it. Without these elements, an apology is just empty words.
6) They frequently break promises
Promises are meant to be kept, aren’t they? They represent our commitment to follow through on something. But sadly, not everyone sees it this way.
I’ve had a close friend who had a knack for breaking promises. Big or small, it didn’t matter. He would make commitments and then consistently fail to deliver.
At first, I used to believe his excuses. But as time went on, I realized that this was a pattern. His broken promises weren’t just about forgetting or being busy; they were a reflection of his lack of honesty and trustworthiness.
It’s important to note that everyone can fail to keep a promise once in a while due to unforeseen circumstances. But when it becomes a regular pattern, it’s a strong indicator of someone who is neither honest nor trustworthy.
7) They have a tendency to gaslight
One of the most dangerous and subtle behaviors among men who are neither honest nor trustworthy is their tendency to gaslight. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where a person makes you doubt your own perception, memory, or sanity.
For instance, they might repeatedly deny saying something that you clearly remember them saying, or they might accuse you of overreacting to situations that are genuinely problematic.
This manipulative behavior can be incredibly damaging. It can make you question your judgment and even your sanity.
If you find yourself constantly second-guessing your own memories or feelings around someone, it could be a sign that they’re gaslighting you. Trust your instincts; they’re usually right.
8) They lack empathy for others
At the heart of honesty and trustworthiness lies empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Without it, genuine connections can’t be formed.
Men who are neither honest nor trustworthy often lack this crucial quality. They struggle to see things from other people’s perspectives and show little concern for the feelings and well-being of others.
It’s not just about not being able to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. It’s about not even trying to. They remain focused on their needs, wants, and viewpoints, often at the expense of others.
Remember, empathy is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Without it, you’re building on shaky ground.
Final thoughts: It’s about respect
The fabric of human relationships is woven with threads of honesty and trustworthiness. When these are missing, the whole structure becomes fragile and prone to breaking.
These eight subtle behaviors are telltale signs of men who lack these fundamental qualities. Spotting them early on can save us from heartache and regret.
But at the end of the day, it’s essential to remember that it all comes down to respect. Respect for oneself and for others.
Honesty and trustworthiness are not just about telling the truth or keeping promises. They’re about respecting the feelings, boundaries and trust of others. They’re about treating people with the dignity they deserve.
If a man respects you, he will be honest with you. He will be trustworthy. And if he isn’t, maybe it’s time to ask yourself if he deserves your time and energy.
Remember, you deserve to be treated with honesty, trustworthiness, and above all, respect.
