- Tension: Brands promise customer care, but what most deliver is speed, efficiency, and scripted empathy.
- Noise: Service values are flattened into performance metrics and brand slogans that feel hollow to real people.
- Direct Message: Exceptional service isn’t about what’s said—it’s about how genuinely a customer feels seen.
To learn more about our editorial approach, explore The Direct Message methodology.
When the Script Says “We Care” but the System Doesn’t
It took 37 minutes for Leila to get someone on the phone. When she finally did, the agent’s voice was bright and professional: “Hi, thank you for your patience. I understand how frustrating this must be.” Then came the pause. A polite silence followed by a transfer. Then another.
Leila wasn’t calling to complain. She simply needed to cancel a subscription for her elderly mother, who was moving into assisted care. But the interaction left her feeling like a problem, not a person.
The irony wasn’t lost on her. “They kept saying they cared,” she told me. “But it felt like they were trained to sound human rather than be human.”
This disconnect isn’t rare—it’s structural. We’ve built a customer service industry on the promise of care, while optimizing it for efficiency. Companies talk about being “customer-obsessed” and “putting people first,” but the systems behind those slogans are often designed for throughput, not empathy.
In my research on media narratives and attention economics, I’ve observed a growing tension: the more brands shout about emotional connection, the less space they seem to create for real emotional nuance. Especially in UK markets, where politeness often masks emotional labor, customer service can feel more like performance than presence.
So where did we lose the thread?
Why Speed and Scripting Aren’t the Same as Service
We’ve become fluent in a particular kind of empathy—the templated kind.
Agents are trained to acknowledge feelings: “I completely understand.” “That must be frustrating.” These lines are scripted not because they’re insincere, but because they’re efficient. They help defuse tension, signal compassion, and move the call along. But when repeated too often—or delivered too quickly—they begin to feel less like care and more like containment.
What we’re seeing is a classic case of oversimplification in service values. The complexity of human emotion is reduced to categories: frustration, confusion, urgency. Then matched to programmed responses. It’s scalable, but it’s also emotionally tone-deaf.
Research shows that customers rated their service experiences more positively when they felt listened to—even when the outcome wasn’t in their favor.
The common thread?
Moments where the agent slowed down, used natural language, or acknowledged the context of the customer’s situation.
But this kind of care doesn’t fit neatly into a call-time metric or satisfaction score. It requires presence, not polish. And in an industry driven by KPIs, presence is rarely incentivized.
Digital platforms add another layer. AI-assisted chats, automated workflows, and pre-filled response trees can help with volume, but often fail to capture nuance. What was meant to increase access can end up flattening experience.
We tell ourselves customers just want speed. That if we solve the issue fast enough, they won’t mind how it felt. But that’s the paradox.
The Clarity That Changes Everything
What customers remember isn’t how fast the issue was solved. It’s how deeply they felt understood in the moment that mattered.
Exceptional service isn’t about what’s said—it’s about how genuinely a customer feels seen.
The paradox is this: the more we try to automate empathy, the less emotionally intelligent the experience becomes.
What It Actually Means to Feel Seen
Let’s go back to Leila. Her experience didn’t go viral. She didn’t leave a one-star review. But she quietly switched her business elsewhere—and told five friends about it.
In contrast, consider what happened when she called another provider—a smaller company, ironically. The agent asked how her mother was doing. No script. Just a real question. The call took longer. But Leila hung up feeling calm, supported, and oddly loyal.
That’s the emotional math most brands miss. It’s not just about resolution—it’s about resonance.
Here’s what truly sets exceptional customer service apart:
1. Context over cadence
Real listening means going beyond the “I understand” script. It means picking up on tone, emotion, and timing. The best service agents treat every call as a conversation, not a transaction.
2. Permission to be human
In environments where agents are monitored for speed, the emotional labor required to connect becomes invisible. But when leadership encourages flexibility over formula, agents are more likely to show up as people, not policies.
3. Recognition of emotional stakes
Most service interactions aren’t about the issue—they’re about the moment. A billing error during a stressful week. A cancellation due to illness. A return request tied to a larger life event. Recognizing these layers is where loyalty is born.
4. Empowerment, not escalation
Instead of transferring or defaulting to “I’ll check with a supervisor,” brands that empower agents to make real decisions in the moment foster trust—both with customers and within teams.
In a world saturated with performance metrics and brand personas, being genuinely present has become a competitive edge. And the irony is that it doesn’t require more tools. Just better use of the human ones already in place.
The Quiet Power of Real Connection
Brands don’t need more empathy slogans. They need to trust their people to deliver empathy without a script.
That shift doesn’t just change service outcomes—it reshapes company culture. When emotional presence is valued as much as efficiency, people show up differently. Internally and externally.
It’s easy to optimize for fast. But the brands that endure—the ones people talk about, return to, and recommend—optimize for felt. Not just solving the issue, but meeting the moment with humanity.
In a world of scripted care, unscripted presence stands out. It’s quieter. It’s harder to measure. But it’s what we remember.