I often find myself marveling at people who have faced intense sorrow and heartache, yet emerge stronger and more resilient. Do you ever wonder, “How do they do it?”
Here’s the deal.
It’s not simply about surviving the pain; it’s about cultivating habits that help them navigate through life’s darkest storms.
If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “What can I learn from these emotionally tough individuals?” you’re in the right place.
Stick around as we explore seven daily habits that are commonly embraced by those who have walked through the depths of extreme grief and come out stronger on the other side.
These habits are not only inspiring but can also serve as a roadmap for personal growth and resilience.
Remember, it’s not about denying the existence of pain, but rather learning to live, grow, and thrive in spite of it. So let’s dive in!
1) Embracing the pain
Here’s the first thing you should know.
Those who come out stronger from extreme grief don’t run away from their pain. Instead, they embrace it. It might seem counterintuitive, but let me explain.
They understand that pain is a part of life and that avoiding it only prolongs the healing process. They allow themselves to feel the depth of their sorrow, to cry when they need to, and to grieve in their own way.
But here’s the catch.
While they let themselves experience the pain, they don’t allow it to consume them. They acknowledge it, feel it, and then slowly start to work through it.
This acceptance is a critical first step towards healing and building resilience.
So, the next time you find yourself facing a painful situation, remember this: It’s okay to feel the pain. Embrace it, learn from it, and then start your journey towards healing.
2) Practicing gratitude
I know, gratitude might seem like a strange concept when you’re in the midst of extreme grief. But hear me out.
Years ago, I lost someone very close to me. The grief was overwhelming and it felt like a dark cloud was constantly looming over me.
And then, a friend suggested something that seemed almost absurd at the time – to practice gratitude.
I was skeptical, but I decided to give it a shot. Every night before bed, I began jotting down three things I was grateful for that day.
Some days, it was as simple as being thankful for the warm sun on my face or a friendly phone call from a loved one.
And slowly but surely, something shifted within me.
Despite my loss, I began to notice the good around me again. The grief didn’t disappear overnight, but I felt lighter, stronger, and more capable of handling my emotions.
So here’s my second habit for you: Practice gratitude. It may seem difficult at first, especially when you’re in pain.
But trust me, it can work wonders in helping you navigate through grief and come out stronger on the other side.
3) Nurturing connections
Loneliness and isolation. They’re easy traps to fall into when dealing with extreme grief. I’ve been there, and it’s not a pleasant place to be.
The pain of loss can make you want to shut the world out, retreat into your shell, and disconnect from everyone around you. But, in my experience, this only amplifies the sorrow.
There’s a reason we humans are social creatures. We thrive on connection, on shared experiences, on love.
And so, the third habit that I’ve noticed in people who come out stronger from extreme grief is nurturing connections.
They reach out to others, share their feelings, and lean on their support networks when times get tough. They understand that while grief is a personal journey, it doesn’t have to be a solitary one.
I’ve found that being open about my feelings and allowing others to offer comfort and support has been instrumental in my own journey through grief.
It’s not easy—it requires vulnerability and trust—but the strength and resilience you gain from it are worth the effort.
Remember this: You’re not alone in your grief. Reach out, connect, and let the love of others help carry you through.
4) Prioritizing self-care
Here’s the thing.
Grief can be a physically draining process. It can disrupt your sleep, ruin your appetite, and even weaken your immune system.
And when your body is not at its best, it can make dealing with emotional pain even more challenging.
That’s why people who come out stronger from grief often prioritize self-care. They understand that taking care of their physical health is just as important as nurturing their emotional well-being.
It could be as simple as ensuring they get adequate sleep, eat nutritious food, or engage in regular exercise. Or it may involve seeking professional help like counseling or therapy to better manage their grief.
The key here is to remember that it’s okay to look after yourself. In fact, it’s necessary. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so make sure you’re filling yours up first.
Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential. And it’s a habit you need to cultivate if you want to come out stronger on the other side of grief.
5) Embracing change
Now, this is something that can be a game-changer.
When you’re grieving, it’s natural to yearn for the way things used to be. But the harsh reality is, life doesn’t come with a rewind button.
Did you know that according to a study by the University of California, Berkeley, embracing change is actually a key factor in enhancing resilience and well-being?
People who come out stronger from grief understand this. They acknowledge that their lives have changed irrevocably and they cannot go back to how things were before their loss.
Instead of resisting this change, they choose to accept it.
They begin to adapt to their new circumstances, finding ways to move forward in this changed landscape of their lives. This doesn’t mean they forget their loss or the love they had for the person they lost.
It simply means they learn to carry it with them as they continue their journey.
So if you’re grappling with grief, remember this: Change is inevitable but how we respond to it can make all the difference.
Embrace it, adapt to it, and let it guide you towards your own resilience and strength.
6) Giving themselves permission to heal
This is something I feel passionately about.
When you’re in the throes of grief, it can sometimes feel like moving on or feeling happy again is a betrayal of the person you’ve lost. I’ve felt this way, and it’s a heavy burden to carry.
But here’s what those who come out stronger from extreme grief understand: Healing is not a betrayal.
It’s not about forgetting the person you’ve lost or the pain you’ve felt. It’s about finding a way to live with it.
They give themselves permission to smile again, to laugh, to find joy in life’s simple pleasures. They don’t rush their healing process, but they also don’t stifle it.
There’s no timeline for grief, and there’s no right or wrong way to feel. Some days will be harder than others, and that’s okay. Healing takes time, patience, and kindness towards oneself.
So if you’re navigating your way through grief, remember this: It’s okay to heal. It’s okay to find moments of happiness amidst the sadness.
You’re not betraying anyone by choosing to heal; you’re honoring your own life and your ability to endure.
7) Holding onto hope
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, those who come out stronger from extreme grief hold onto hope.
In the darkest of times, they find a glimmer of light. A belief that things will eventually get better. That the pain they feel today won’t last forever.
Hope is powerful. It’s what keeps us going when we feel like we can’t take another step. It’s the promise that tomorrow will be a better day.
So if you’re going through extreme grief, remember this: Hold onto hope. It might seem elusive at times, but it’s there.
And it’s this hope that will guide you towards strength, resilience, and ultimately, healing.
Final thoughts
If you see yourself in these habits, perhaps you’ve walked the path of extreme grief and emerged stronger.
But remember, strength doesn’t mean you no longer feel pain or that you’ve “moved on” in the traditional sense. It means you’ve learned to carry your loss without letting it consume you.
These habits are not a checklist to tick off but a compass to guide you through your journey of healing. They are habits that you cultivate over time, not overnight solutions.
Each person’s grief is unique, as is their path to resilience. Discover what works best for you.
Embrace the pain, practice gratitude, nurture connections, prioritize self-care, accept change, give yourself permission to heal, and above all, hold onto hope.
It’s a journey of ups and downs, of good days and bad. But remember this: You’re stronger than you think. You’ve endured the unthinkable and yet, here you are.
So take a moment to acknowledge your strength, your resilience, and your incredible capacity for hope.
You’re a testament to the human spirit’s ability to survive and thrive in the face of extreme adversity.
And that in itself is something truly remarkable.
