I still remember the time I sat alone in a bustling coffee shop, staring at my half-finished latte, wondering why happiness felt so elusive.
On the surface, I had plenty to be grateful for: supportive friends, a meaningful job, and a sense of adventure that took me to fascinating places.
Yet my mind kept circling around small annoyances—a disagreement with a sibling, an offhand remark from a friend—that left me feeling drained.
That day, I realized how deeply ego can color our everyday experiences and prevent us from truly enjoying life.
Here at DM News, we often explore what it takes to find lasting well-being.
In my own journey, I’ve learned that clinging to certain ego-driven habits can sabotage even the simplest moments of joy.
Let’s talk about six such habits that can weigh us down, and how releasing them creates more space for genuine happiness.
1. Needing to always be right
For years, I was the “peacemaker” in my family, mostly out of habit.
It wasn’t until I found myself in a heated argument about something trivial—like whose turn it was to make tea—that I realized my ego was actually quite stubborn.
I’d feel a rush of relief when I managed to “win” an argument, even if I had to stretch the truth.
But deep down, it only left me feeling disconnected from the people I cared about.
Eventually, I saw that my constant need to be right was really a need to feel respected or validated.
Letting go of this habit doesn’t mean I stop standing up for myself.
It means I’m more open to the possibility that there are multiple perspectives, and that being right doesn’t necessarily mean being happy.
When I stopped pushing so hard to win every discussion, my relationships felt lighter—almost like fresh air blowing in.
2. Living for others’ approval
I used to check my phone right after posting something on social media, awaiting that dopamine rush from likes and comments.
Some days, it seemed like my mood depended on how many people validated my latest fitness milestone or travel photo.
It wasn’t exactly healthy, and I could sense my self-esteem taking a hit whenever the response wasn’t as big as I’d hoped.
Craving others’ approval can become a full-time job—one that never ends.
Stepping back, I realized how much emotional energy I was pouring into trying to impress people, many of whom I’d never even meet in person.
I began asking myself: Do I really value these external opinions more than I value my own?
Shifting my focus to what I genuinely love—like experimenting with mindfulness and learning about different cultures—helped me get back in touch with who I am, without the endless chase for applause.
3. Clinging to victimhood
For a long time, I prided myself on being adaptable and positive, but I also had this sneaky tendency to cast myself as the victim when things didn’t go as planned.
If a writing project fell through or a date canceled last-minute, I’d brood over how unfair life was being.
It might seem odd—someone who’s into self-improvement playing the victim—but it can happen to anyone.
The truth is, slipping into victim mode gives the ego a sense of importance.
It’s a way of saying, “Look at all these challenges I’m facing, aren’t I deserving of extra sympathy?”
Yet constantly revisiting how you’ve been wronged keeps you stuck in the past.
The real power comes from acknowledging setbacks without letting them define you.
When I started taking ownership of my role—even in difficult circumstances—I felt a rush of freedom.
No more blaming a cosmic plot against me, just an honest look at what I could learn and how I could move forward.
4. Comparing yourself endlessly
We’ve all been there—scrolling through social media or chatting with friends and feeling that pang of envy.
Maybe they’ve got a thriving relationship, a job that pays double, or a knack for cooking gourmet meals.
For me, the comparison trap often sprang up when I caught sight of friends traveling in luxury, while I was booking budget flights and hostels.
Comparison is one of the ego’s trickiest games. It tricks us into thinking life is a race where we must outshine the next person.
But the flip side is that we end up discounting our own journey.
When I stopped obsessing over what others were achieving, I realized I had more bandwidth to set personal goals that genuinely inspired me.
I found myself celebrating small wins—like trying a new workout or delving into a fascinating psychology book—rather than measuring my life against a curated highlight reel.
5. Refusing to admit mistakes
I once thought being strong meant never letting people see my errors.
I’d joke around, downplay, or switch topics whenever I felt cornered about something I messed up.
But in reality, refusing to admit mistakes locked me into rigid thinking.
I remember a close friend calling me out for repeating the same oversight in our collaborative work.
She said, gently but firmly, “It’s hard to grow together if you keep pretending it didn’t happen.”
Ego loves the illusion of perfection.
Yet the moment I owned up to my slip-ups, I noticed conversations became more genuine.
Suddenly, I could learn from other people’s perspectives, and our bond deepened because they saw me as someone capable of introspection.
Yes, it’s vulnerable to say, “I messed up.”
But that vulnerability also lifts an invisible weight off your shoulders, creating room for growth and real connection.
This brings me to the final point…
6. Seeing vulnerability as weakness
I want to talk more about vulnerability, but this time in terms of allowing ourselves to be seen.
Seeing vulnerability as weakness often arises from the fear of letting others witness our unedited selves.
On the surface, this fear might look like a desire for privacy or a wish to maintain “professionalism,” but deep down, it can mask a belief that our authentic selves aren’t acceptable.
Yet, allowing ourselves to be seen is what fosters genuine human connection.
When we share our honest opinions, admit to uncertainties, or openly acknowledge both our strengths and weaknesses, we create space for trust to grow.
This openness doesn’t require oversharing; it merely asks that we become more real, more present in our interactions.
In many ways, vulnerability is not about being weak—it’s about being clear, honest, and unafraid to show we’re human.
By letting go of the armor we wear to protect our egos, we encourage a deeper level of communication with others and a stronger sense of self-acceptance within.
Conclusion
Letting go of these ego-driven habits isn’t a one-and-done event.
In my own life, it’s felt more like a gentle unraveling of beliefs that no longer serve me.
What’s helped me immensely is acknowledging that sometimes we need guidance outside our usual routines.
That’s why I want to share Rudá Iandê’s “Free Your Mind” masterclass. I’ve mentioned this course before because it left a deep mark on how I navigate my inner world.
The exercises there inspired me to identify limiting beliefs I didn’t even know I was holding onto. I walked away feeling freer, like I was finally letting myself be the person I’d always been, underneath all the layers of ego.
If your own journey involves unraveling these patterns and reconnecting with your true self, this masterclass might resonate with you too.
It offers practical tools to shed what isn’t really you, so you can chart your own spiritual path in a way that feels authentic and empowering.
Ultimately, happiness doesn’t come from covering up our flaws or always winning at life.
It grows when we loosen the grip of our ego and embrace the full spectrum of who we are—openly, honestly, and compassionately.
